Being an agent of change

Probably the normal method people use to face bad changes, which is considered to be a proactive way of dealing with it, is to resist to them. The problem is that there is a law of change: any change to which you resist, will grow even more.

Probably the best method people could use to face bad changes is to increase their own resilience, that is, by being an agent of change.

The way of doing it is quite simple (in writing):

1. I notice a change that is happening would have a bad effect for me or my community.
2. Instead of fighting or fleeing, I fly… I start to increase my resilience by accepting this is happening and understanding it.
3. I also start to have inner experiences by contemplating, reflecting or meditating; in this way, I look for self-empowerment.
4. I start a change that will help to work against this bad change. It may be my attitude or an interesting plan that will involve others.
5. I cooperate with others, by creating a powerful network and I help others to increase their own resilience too.

To put that into practice requires some energy and focus, but it is much better way to reacting to situations.

Besides, you will experience being the leader of your own self, instead of being led by situations from which you are not taking benefit.

The art of teaching others

If you are a teacher of some kind, you probably agree that teaching is complicated and at the same time it is a wonderful call, a real art. It challenges and it gives a beautiful return too. As a proof there are so many books, movies (To Sir, with Love[1] anyone?) and TV series showing that noble profession in its best form.

However, when you are not their teacher and yet you need to teach them, things are different, whether you are a neighbor of someone who loves cats too much or you are the boss who wants to emphasize the value of a certain report to a rebellious employee.

In this case, wisdom will be the source instead of knowledge and there are a few things you can work to explain to other people when you are not their formal educator:

• Being the example. Particularly if you are in a long-term relationship, example is the best tool and it teaches with a few words. Just make sure your pupil is paying attention!
• Reflect about what you want to talk. It is fundamental to take some time by understanding what the lesson is, just like a good teacher who prepares their class.
• Look for the best tactic to talk to someone. Yes, you have a clear message, but how to impart it? There are several ways or methods, many different methodologies that can help you to do that…
• A dialogue. …but by opening a room for this person to enter and talk with you, you will see the lesson will be easier. The best way to teach someone, with the exception of a technical subject, is to let them to learn by themselves. That is…
• Be their coach! A wonderful alternative is to help them by using coaching techniques. There is a simple one which is asking open questions, questions with no YES/NO answer.

A final point: your attitude is the key for teaching other people. A problem with a few teachers is to think of students as ignorant people; if you do that with people who are not students (and, by the way, with students too), your lesson won’t reach them.

Wise people would never treat others as stupid, but they will see them as very intelligent capable people who want to learn something different, something they know.

---

[1] To Sir with Love is a 1967 movie that shows the teaching profession in its brillance.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Sir,_with_Love

Enjoying a peaceful state of mind

The crisis caught us all… but, has it got into our minds too?

Wise words from something I’ve heard many years ago: you may get sick in your body, but don’t let the sickness reaches you into your mind. The same applies to the uncertainty we are living.

Our minds are fragile in a sense, as it comes very easily under the influence of the circumstances. If the situations are peaceful, so will the mind; if the environment where you are is hostile, then the mind will suffer for it.

However, by detaching your mind from the circumstances it is possible to experience peace even though the situations themselves are not peaceful. And by experiencing peace within, it isn’t impossible to be able to affect the external environment.

It requires some (lots of) self-control and a certain level of discipline to prevent mind to be influenced by whatever is happening around.

Meditation is one of the ways that enable the individual to experience peace, no matter what is going on around them. Just try it:

Sit down with no other reason but to experience a few moments of meditation…Let yourself feel your thoughts decreasing in quantity and speed… gradually, going from a storm to a rain and then to a few drops…Let yourself feel instead of thinking words… just feel your own peace… there, inside you…It is peace… a sensation of calmness and tranquility… a feeling of satisfaction and the absence of worries… a creative energy that subtly fills the being…It is peace… like a shield that protects you and your environment…It is peace…

When you meditate for some time in a regular basis, naturally you will start to feel the benefit of being peaceful, you will see changes in the scenario of your life and you will be able to change deeply.

You may not prevent the crisis to take place, but it won’t enter inside you.

What is the key for happiness?

OK, there is no formula for happiness, but there are a few things you can consider that will open up your happiness:

Every time you feel happy, just think: why? It may sound strange to ask that, but as you know the reasons or motivations, that will help you to keep that happiness.

Whenever you are not happy, try several things and create a list of those things that work. They will be handy at some point.

If you are unhappy with some circumstances, try to change them or something that replace them and check how your happiness changes…

…but be aware that possibly the situation is not what causes you to feel the lack of happiness. Check internally, maybe there is something happening inside, a struggle or a doubt, a monster that is eating your happiness. Rather than changing the situation, face the internal reason.

If you are unhappy because of a person, try and see if other people can replace that same role in your life…

…but it is quite possible that won’t work, or it may work for a while. It is better to find your own inner happiness and share with others, instead of taking from people.

When worry or anxiety comes to your mind, you also lose your happiness. Have a list (another one!) of positive relevant things that can obscure or soften the restlessness.

And smile! There are thousands of reasons to smile and don’t miss any opportunity for that…