Coping with loss

As humans we tend to accumulate and stock things. Well, not only humans… go and check your pet’s place, probably you will find things there too!

But as humans, there is something extra – we feel the loss. And we feel it pretty hard, sometimes for years. Besides, the thing we accumulate is often another person…

Coping with loss is more frequent than it should be and we are normally bad in doing that. I am saying here should be not much because we shouldn’t lose things or relationships – we will lose, that is for sure; but we shouldn’t feel it that bad.

An ad I saw a few years ago showed two young girls being taken to a foster home. It was an emergency situation and they were taken in the middle of the night in their pajamas and nothing else. The youngest struggled the most; part of her sleeping ritual was to hug her stuffed toy and that night, she could not sleep without it. Next day, the family took her to a place where she easily and happily got a new toy, just like the one she had!

Not a Toy Story happy end I know, but it shows people often lose something, then they go over the natural mourning and just move on with life, even when it is such an emotional item. The key point here is the emotional part: the kid was able to move beyond her grief because the foster family was supporting her.

So, there is an easy way to cope the loss of objects: identify the emotional support it was giving you and find it at some other place. Done!

Now, what about people? The short video was not long enough to show the consequences of the children’s parents’ absence in their lives and how they were able to cope with that type of loss.

A friend of mine, Dr. Roger Cole, once spoke in an interview after a tragic accident in Bogota that we need to have a time for mourning. That is the first step; we have to accept the loss in our hearts and understand they will never come back.

After that, it is good to create a memorial for those people in heart and mind, reminding you the great gift they were by being present in your life. It will help you to wrap up that relationship, forgive whatever has to be forgiven, keep whatever has to be kept and just say goodbye.

The last part that helps to cope with losses when referred to people is to visit the memorial from time to time, not out of a sense of nostalgia, but to learn, to smile and laugh again with those people, whose memories live in you.

Hope you can try it next time a person walks away from your life. Take care!

How to open the door of your learning?

Being an autodidact at some point was something as strange as the word itself; there has always been, but not many.

One of the reasons is that the Western teaching system has highly valued the role of the teacher, professor or guru and in some places or environments, it feels like there is no way to learn something without someone else teaching you.

Of course it is valuable to have a teacher, but today, in such a complex society and with so many learning needs, there are not enough teachers and YouTube, books, countless websites as well as many other platforms have become teachers in an unofficial way, training us to deal with new laws or how to plant carrots at home...

However, it doesn't matter if there is a teacher literally in front of you, a young girl with dyed hair talking on your computer screen or a fascinating book, the key to learning will always be YOU.

You and your mental openness, your thirst for knowledge, your desire to learn even while making mistakes... If we could use an analogy, we would say that learning is opening a door and no matter how splendid this methodology is or how necessary the subject is, that knowledge will not get in if the door is closed.

And although there isn't really a method that teaches you to open it, there are three elements that I think will help you learn anything:

• To give importance to the topic by learning, without exaggerating or minimizing.
• To be very humble, patient and determined since many of today's learning topics are updates of what you already know or not all methodologies give results in the time you expect.
• Practice a lot what you learned.

                                                                                                                                  

Let's look at the following scenario: you want to learn a new language.

• What will you learn it for? This question will open the perspective of importance, because if there is not really a strong or necessary reason, it will be difficult for you to separate the time and energy to learn. Another question you can ask is: Really, how long can you live well without knowing this?
• Second, be open to what they will teach you. In this case, it is fundamental that the apprentice gives his teacher time, because not all methodologies come out teaching you what you want immediately. If you want to confirm the validity of the methodology, talk to other students or people you know who are similar to you and reconfirm.
• Finally, find ways to practice. You can even go somewhere to volunteer and teach children this language you are learning. To teach always helps to strengthen what has been learned.

More than a birthday

More than a birthday, January 12^th reminds me of the commitment to live, something that does not come from an obligation, but rather from a deep gratitude.

After all, there are not many people who reach 55 years of age having worked on their inner spiritual life for 37 years, that is, more than two thirds of my life. If we add, it is as if I have lived 92 years, fully and fruitfully, taking advantage of the well of wisdom that I found in my way.

I have been to a special university that taught me not to prioritize the physical, material and obvious; I learned to give more importance to the unseen, that which is subtle and profound. Thus I seek to implement these teachings and live every day, every minute and every step I take, knowing that there will always be success even in when I stumble.

And I take many steps, walking through a city, a country and a planet that welcomed me. I take many steps, so many that I physically moved away from the city and country where I was born; although not quite, because it is still there in the form of marks in my heart, in my ear so accustomed to that language that is like music and the people that impacted me, educated me and made me progress, sometimes as gently as a hummingbird that shows the way to the traveler, or as strong as the elephant that gives you no options.

It is for these and many more reasons that I would like to invite you now to celebrate my birthday. First of all, I want a gift from you ... I want your positive thoughts and feelings; I want you to forgive me for any mistake I made and give me other opportunities.

I also want to give you a gift ... I want you to think about your commitment to live for a moment and what this implies ... I would like you to experience gratitude in your heart, even if there is not much to be appreciated in appearances.

And I give you the key to success: look in your heart for inspiration, talk with your head about those wonderful ideas, talk with the soul you are about changing your journey in life and living these ideas. If it's okay for you, have a long dialogue with the Supreme Being about what you observe.

From this position and with this energy, transform those thoughts, which are as soft as butterflies into a building as strong and lasting as a temple.

A big hug, from my heart...

Video: https://youtu.be/abY8ceVuIgc

Is it a new year already?

Old news – terrifying old news – are taking over the world and #ThirdWorldWar is trending.

Actors change, play looks the same… not too new, right?

But there is a big novelty that we as humans can experience, particularly if things are still the same: a change of attitude that makes me see life with different glasses.

How to change it? Let’s focus first on the positive side of life.

Although there is always something constructive in every scene of life, sometimes the good gets hidden behind a wall of negativity.

By using your memory to remember the fantastic things that have happened to you, you will experience it as if this would be happening right now. By the way, don’t underappreciate hope – it will show you the way out of the fog of hopelessness.

Another change you can do is to generate positive emotions like forgiveness and gratitude. They work as if you would be taking a fresh shower during a really hot day, calming your being, making you smile and showing you different ways to handle whatever is happening.

Last, I would strongly recommend meditation, as it works on two different levels. On one hand, it enables you to move beyond the present circumstances and focus on your thoughts instead of the sometimes hard reality. On the other hand, it helps you to realize your own power, which empowers you to face reality.