Connecting with others from within

How do you connect with other people? Maybe they are your relatives or friends, customers or providers… Maybe they are your neighbors, the guy who works in the drugstore or that nice lady who is always smiling… Maybe it is the youngster who refuses to greet you in the morning and that horrible person who talks about inappropriate things when he is delivering something at your workplace.

I am sharing you an experience. It is interesting to be living these times of pandemic; the other day, while walking on the street, I was thinking that the thing people use as a reference in relation to other people – the face – is almost obscured by a mask. However, the eyes are still visible and if you look into them, very deeply, you can see the person’s emotions: joy, happiness, boredom, sadness.

It is a new manner of connecting with people and why not to make it in relation to everyone? Well, it is complicated; I don’t think you would feel comfortable with the clerk in a bank looking into your eyes too much… But there is a way.

A video that circulated many years ago talked about the Golden Circle[1] and the basic idea was that the successful companies connect with people in the level of Why not What – We produce great products that challenge the status quo and, by the way, they are computers!

Just imagine for a minute that you do that with your people; instead of connecting with others because they are part of your family, they can buy your product or if you don’t relate well they will let their cat coming into your house, just think about the several whys that made you bring them into your life, or you step into theirs.

Those whys could be:

• When this person is close to me, I feel safe.
• I love to make this man laughs! I feel so good!
• This individual is helping me to bring about my childhood dream, how to thank them?
• That guy, I really don’t like him, but I am being able to learn lots of patience!
• But, why can’t they just keep that cat inside their garden? Well, perhaps this is a change to learn how to be a cat-lover.

This is what it means to connect from inside your heart and your own self. Try it…

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[1] A video in TED, by Simon Sinek.  https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action?language=en

Is this new age or just passing moments?

From time to time, there is news circulating around that the world is changing, things are improving and it is much better. And then, things change… back… or worse.

What is going on really? Is there any fate related to our civilization that we must get worse instead of improving?

First of all, we have improved in many different aspects… on a physical level. The mere fact we wash our hands and how much that impacts our health is amazing. And what about all the benefits that come with the Internet…

The problem is in terms of perception: maybe we are better, but internally we are not adapting to welcome the changes in the world. Maybe we are living a new age, but internally we are still in living in the old age.

And there are two paths we may follow if we want to live this new age that is just there, ahead of us:

1. We can adapt externally and hope for the best, focusing on new generations; maybe they will be able to take full advantage of this new era.
2. We should reflect more and check what is to be done internally, so that we don’t miss the new possibilities and at the same time, we feel satisfied internally.

What is the path you are going to follow? Are you going to wait for the next generation to eat the fruit of all the advancement of our civilization, or are it is going to be you who will eat that and then share to others? Make a decision and quick, as the world keeps on changing.

Disruption + Uncertainty = Fear

If you have watched terror movies, you probably have noticed there are several types of fear. The fear of gruesome scenes or wild animals, maybe the fear of masked people or a contagious illness is terrible enough to get you paralyzed.

But what about the fear that does not come from a movie: the fear of losing a job, getting sick, being alone and lonely… It is the modern urban fear that keeps people awoken at night and does not allow them to have a healthy normal life.

That fear comes from a not so sweet formula:

Disruption + Uncertainty = Fear

It means we are afraid when our normal life is interrupted in its core, when the paradigm we are living is broken. Disruption is being experienced right now worldwide and it is not fun; it is requiring lots of resilience by most people, some Netflix and Zoom by others… An image you can use to understand disruption is to think of a ladder you are climbing normally until you reach a point where the steps vanished and you are unable to reach the other side, your destination.

Disruption paralyses the person because of its absurdity or unexpected (and unwanted) emergence. In the case of a human stairs it is however different than the former example, as there is no way to go back in time and escape from it; you can stay stuck or you would have to build the steps yourself, probably with the help of others.

Now imagine that not only the steps went missing; when you look further to the place where you were heading to, it also went missing! Uncertainty is prevailing, forcing people to live the day-by-day and not planning too far ahead.

It is not something new of course as any company, football team or professional is used to live on uncertainty, but the modern uncertainty – Will I still work there? Will my children be able to have their own house? Will we be married with the same person in five years? – joined by disruption generates a very deep ingrained fear.

Can we overcome this type of fear? We can’t fight disruption as it is often out of our control, but we can control the effect of uncertainty. And the solution is very simple: certainty.

Just have a few things clear in your life and you will feel you are a surfer in the waves of life. These are a few powerful questions that may help you to have a sense of what is happening in your life, a sense of who you really are and your beautiful purpose:

• Who am I?
• Why am I doing what I am doing?
• What is the best of me and how to share it with others?
• Where am I heading to and how I am building it day by day?

Whenever you feel uncertainty taking over you, just stop for a moment and ask yourself those questions. Let the answer comes into your mind like a light during a dark night.

Remember: even a small candle can break the darkness.

The new normal, or just a degraded old normal?

What will be our new chapter?

Our civilization is in a crossroad: either we will start a new phase, or there is a big opportunity for that, or…

…or will we go back to an old normal with a mask?

Today, there was an article on the bad normality that is the return of bad situations like the pollution in the cities, traffic jam or a bad handling of unemployment by the governments. Unfortunately, as we are coming back to action after a global quarantine, that is what is being noticed in many places.

I ask myself: what will be the key factor that will determine our destiny as a civilization? Well, there are many possibilities, but there is one that I find it is crucial.

You! Me!

We are the ones holding the key for the major breakthrough or to go back to the old world we left a few months ago. Our attitude, awareness and behavior will define more than our own future. Yours, mine, ours.

How and why?

Hope, enthusiasm, creativity, innovation, kindness… these are not only words or virtues, they are real and we have been hearing about them a lot, we have seen them in other people’s eyes or actions, and we have been living them in many different ways. In this way, we are creating a new normal and a new reality.

Remember: the key is with us…