Silence and chaos

 

There is a kind of noise that exists both, outside and within. It’s the chaos of daily life - messages, decisions, stress - and the chaos of the mind - overthinking, reacting, remembering all details...

To avoid that noise or to decrease its volume, we have silence… Not the silence that is the absence of noise; silence as an inner state, a space we can enter even when the world is loud.

As we are living in the age of chaos, noise is part of the pattern… Yes, we could find a place in the mountains, far from all. Or we can resort to silence.

In the midst of chaos, silence is not weakness. It’s strength. It’s clarity. And it’s healing.

Meditation teaches us to return to that inner silence. Just a few minutes of stillness can shift our state. Meditation isn’t about controlling thoughts, but about not being controlled by them. It allows the mind to settle, and in that settling, we begin to hear our own wisdom again.

Silence opens us to hear the real sound, the sound of our inner voice.

Silence also has the power to heal. Emotional pain, stress, fatigue - these begin to soften in the presence of true stillness. Not the silence of suppression, but of awareness, that moment when we stop trying to fix everything and simply sit in silence. At that point, something begins to mend… maybe not externally - the age we live is of chaos - but inside.

Inside there is deep healing, deep awareness, but the beauty of this practice of silence is that it permeates our reality… After all, even in relationships and daily tasks, silence has a role as it brings focus, patience and depth.

In conversations, a pause can be more meaningful than a rush of words. At work, a moment of inner quiet can lead to better decisions than hours of action and discussions.

As chaos is all around, silence is not a retreat from life; it is the key to a better life.

In chaos, it becomes our compass and guide.

Each day is a new chapter of your life - Reason 23

If your life was a book, what would be the title?  This is a deep reflection each one of us should do from time to time.  The secret behind it is that whatever is the book’s chosen title, so also will be the experience that day.

For leaders, that reflection takes place naturally and it helps to focus.  Energy and resources will be harnessed meaningfully. 

The best leadership does not stop with the choice of book title.  Where there is the mindset that every day is a new chapter with its own beginning, middle and end, an active leader starts renewed and fresh every day.

This is the richness of being a leader, where every day contributes in an important way to growth.

So, for a leader instead of asking the title of their life’s book, an even better question is: What is the title of the new chapter I am starting today?

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Solving very complex situations

Analysis and synthesis. Creativity and organization. Reflection and contemplation. Action and more action…

There are so many ways to solve situations that emerge, however as time go by, these are becoming more and more complex, and the used and overused old formula does not work at all times.

These new circumstances require a new approach. One possibility is to explore a spiritual perspective and here are some ways:

• Experiencing a stage of detached observer. Connecting to the self helps into watching whatever is happening with detachment, as if it is someone else doing. The easiest way is just to be aware of the present environment a person is for one minute, focusing on the present.
• Meditation, contemplation or reflection. Focusing the mind into something that is beyond the physical helps get in touch with spirituality and, eventually, to find solutions for very complex situations. There are many ways to use any of these tactics, but you may want to check the Brahma Kumaris' way, which is my own method of meditating.
• Yoga and deep focus. No need to forget about all that is around, but by doing yoga or simply focusing deeply into something else, different than the circumstances, it helps the self to find a deep solution, reaching into the roots and seeds.
• Prayer from the heart. When prayer comes from within, the mind gets clear and it is possible to take hard decisions. It is important to not recite old prayers learnt by heart or, if it is so, feel them.

Are you able to see the invisible?

In a leadership parable on leadership, a prince goes to the forest to live for one year. His task: to observe all sounds he could and relate them to his master later. After relating his experience, his master sent him back as he was not content with his disciple’s achievements. After a while hearing the same sounds, the prince started to hear the unheard: a star rising in the sky, a rock moving in the sand…

That tale touched me very deeply, because the key for a good exercise of a leadership is in the unheard, invisible and intangible, those things we just perceive, but there is no measurement to it.

Big data is a big thing nowadays, it is what is making noise, but there is no comparison with the practical effect of small data, those details most programs, institutions and people ignore. Small data is invisible, unheard and intangible, but it is also very powerful: it is the small data that gave many surprises last year with Brexit, Donald Trump’s election and the victory of NO in the Colombia peace process referendum.

Leadership does not mean to leave all of the analysis, strategies and hard decisions aside, but it is time for leaders to focus differently: leaders need to change their focus from analysis to understanding, from strategies to intuition and from unilateral decisions to decisions that are accepted by others.

Otherwise, they too will become invisible.

Focus and concentration as a resource

When we talk about resources, we normally think about things or people, however a definition of resource indicates it is not only based on things that one day will finish or need to be replenished. According to the Oxford Dictionary, it is also one’s personal attributes and capabilities regarded as able to help or sustain one in adverse circumstances.

In relation to that we have many resources within ourselves to be used and reused. In fact, the rule is the opposite: the more we use our inner resources, the more they will be available to us. Among all of them, there is a resource that is extremely valuable since it is not often found: concentration and focus. Although they are not the same, they are quite a tight couple. While focus may refer to narrow your attention onto something, concentration is more about intensity of thoughts and feelings.

In a world where people have a few minutes (or seconds?) of focused attention, times when people are 24 hours busy and an age where people reach their retirement age in many cases around 40 years before they pass away, the importance of this resource it is important to develop the ability of focusing and using that power in a person’s life.

The result will be a healthier society where people will actually finish whatever they have started, they will be able to prioritize and their life post-work will be an accomplished one.

But, how to do it? Of course, we would have to include the education system, media, etc., but I do believe in the fact that if a few people are able to generate a change, eventually that change will influence others. And those people starts with a single letter: I.

It is time that I work on my focus, inspiring others to do the same. But, that is not easy because present culture value the slashers and to watch many things at the same time (just go to any Café and watch people reading their messages, watching people walking on the street and talking to someone, at the same time…).

Maybe the East may help us. I feel meditation has helped me to focus on my own potentials and that enabled me to overcome several obstacles. I have learned to be concentrated and avoid dispersion, giving all the power that is within me to the projects I am involved.

That is one possibility, not the only one. It is important to do something and train your own focus and concentration as we reach a point where everything will be so superficial that even life won’t worth much.

Focus... action!

In a fast-paced society as the one we are living, people seldom gives time for reflection. We normally just react and that makes us tired... so we look for means of relaxing and we don't have enough energy to think, reflect and act, which means we just start reacting again.

This has created a big trend where tourism and entertainment can be considered one of the biggest industries. An example: let's say you are going for shopping - compare the time shopping with the time you spend watching a movie.

It is a strange society, right? We have displaced food as our first value and we have embraced industrial elements, things we could easily live without; now we are going even beyond, preferring what is not even real...

Well, solution does not lie in new policies, a change in the laws or even new inventions. The real solution is to prevent that big tiredness for life that takes place and makes us confusing love we see in a movie with the real love we can feel only in reality.

Focus. It will help people to get less tired and more effective in whatever they do. If you just get tired, in the normal way, that can be solved by a change of environment or a good sound sleep, then it is easier to start thinking and reflecting, before going into reaction. As a consequence, your actions' quality will be better and even if you fall on the reaction pattern again, it will be in relation to a very good quality action.

Focus on what you really want and need. Focus on your reality, your mission and vision of life and you will feel it as a wonderful experience, as an entertainment in itself.

It is not only your productivity that will increase enormously, your joy will also increase and you will enjoy life in a way you probably thought it was only possible watching some good episode on television.

Focus. Reflect. Act. Relax. And focus again...

Leadership skills, for dealing with situations

We, humans, have an incredible ability to create "mess" in our lives... Somehow, problems seem to pop up at any moment, destroying the little comfort we create around us. Whether it is a situation that emerged in your familiar life, with some friend, in your work or something is happening in the country, and it is affecting you; your own leadership and the relevant skills can be your only way out of that.

But it is not only "dealing with the situation". The "John Wayne" style, of shooting then asking questions, is not working any more. It is not only the situations which are complex: we are too. People nowadays want to be happy, light in their lives; you will seldom find someone who wants to sacrifice himself or herself.

Therefore, what are the main skills a leader must have to deal with the situations and remain happy?

• Focus on results, work on processes and empower people. This is a key skill - to concentrate in getting results, but to improve the processes and empower your people. Normally, when there is a crisis at a company, they first fire people, then run to get results and don't bother about processes...
• Constantly updating. OK, not like a cell phone, but this leadership-related skill is vital for organizational survival. That means a constant will and ability to study and research, and come with innovative solutions.
• Future perspective. Especially when situations are too "gruesome", this is useful as it projects you towards the future and detach you from the present. This helps the person to keep focus and raise above all obstacles.
• Supporting and motivating. And situations will come. And come, and come... Support and motivation are two sides of the same skill that only works when it comes from the depth of heart, when the person really wills it. It is not only for others; a real leader will keep motivating the self and supporting the self as much as he or she can.

Out of these, I personally think the last one is the most important. When you are able to support and motivate both, yourself and others, it is easier to handle any circumstances and find a positive solution.

That means you need a different attitude in relation to people. For instance, if someone is giving you trouble, look at the person and think: what can I do to help this person? In this way, you will develop a strong bond between you and others. Thinking of future, when crisis arise, these people you supported one day will be there to give you their support.

For this skill, you have to:

• Train yourself to think positively about others and always give them another chance.
• Imbibe gentleness and kindness; learn how to approach people especially when you need to give them bad news.
• Learn how to reward others in a fair way.
• Learn how to be beside others when they fail, showing your teeth by smiling, instead of snarling.
• Understand very deeply the meaning of being a leader.
• Love, love and love, from your heart, everyone who is around you.

Do that and have a better experience at the time of dealing with situations.

5 questions to end your year

• Which changes am I experiencing this year?
• What have been my main success events or accomplishments this year?
• What are the main lessons I am learning?
• What are my main realizations?
• In the rest of the year that still remains, what will be my focus?

Years are just a ritual, they really don't pass, not even exist. But we can use that as a concept and help ourselves to change in a more methodical way. For that, we need to check and change whatever has happened with us, and as the time passes faster and faster, it is better to start even before the year ends.
The questions before can trigger something deep in yourself. Yes, they are pretty general, but they can be helpful in making sense of the year that is almost finishing.

• I went through a big earthquake this year in my life. It was a crucial moment of decision and I have experienced a powerful breakthrough in relation to a situation that was as long as 7 years ago. The main change for me is to realize the total control of my life, which is in my hands. Yes, I knew that, but it was more than a realization, it was a practical fact. By the way, still in process.
• I think the main accomplishment for this year has been to come back into the consulting world and to start coaching. I felt so relieved, but it was more than that. It was a feeling of a person who has been through a heavy storm and finds out there is still dry soil somewhere... I felt like my feet touched the ground, and it has been great.
• This year, I have taken a powerful course by the University of Life. How many lessons I have learnt? I don't know. Possibly the biggest one is to shape my mind and comments and always express myself. I've realised that although I am a good communicator, I am not so good in expressing sensitive issues and that has harmed my relationships and myself.
• Realizations... I think my main realization, not mentioned before, has been the power of a spiritual life. If I had to decide between going back to a former lifestyle or keeping the present one, I would have decided to keep this one as I had this deep realization of the benefits of the life course I have chosen.
• For the rest of the year... I am catching up with everything, and not only for the year as I had the "7-year storm" realization, so I want to do as much as I can and experience as much as I can. I am catching up even with my blog...

What about you? What are your responses? I would love to hear (read) them. Take care, Marcelo

About coming back to work

As I said in a former post, this blog was designed because of my lack of proper work. Something happened in my life, and companies were not calling me for help. In fact, they were not calling me for anything, really.

I really had the opportunity, the golden chance of learning that having a job is more than working, and that is the reason of this blog.

Now, work is coming back. Slowly, but steady, I am being called by many companies to help them. They are still small projects, but for me they are BIG, because they are a direct fruit of a long work on my own self.

Then, I see other issues emerging, and I feel it is good to revise them, turning them in valuable lessons others can be benefitted:

• The need of having humility and high self-esteem. Working with spirituality, I always know and talk about to have the balance between these two qualities, but I have been faced with them a lot. After all, you cannot tell others something you are not doing, but you have to value your conquests and ideas, as they are your real wealth. As a consultant, one of the techniques is to share examples, and sometimes you think your examples are good, when they are not. But at other times, your example will be the perfect one for the situation, be ready to know the difference.
• The need of researching and studying. One of the opportunities I've got was to deliver a course that I did not do for at least TEN YEARS! It evolved, and I realised (unfortunately, during the same course) that I should study more and research more. One of my mistakes would be too embarrassing, if it was not noticed by a good friend, who did not push.
• Focus, more focus. During my time without job, I generated around 10 areas of work. But, as I am performing again, to keep up with 10 areas of work is not easy, and it would be stressing in the long term. With the help of a coach, I was able to group those 10 areas in... well, 7 areas... As you see, I am still working on that focus.
• CLEAR AIM. I've put myself an immediate aim - 10 days of work! And that is what I have got. So, I have to clear my aim a little bit, remind myself the year has 365 days and my life won't finish on 2012, no matter what fake Mayans are saying. So, don't talk about such a short aim, rather than that plan it better.
• Don't lose courage. When I am working, I feel sometimes a little "rusty". Courage is needed to keep on doing, to just keep on performing and little by little rust will fade away eventually and you will see your optimum performance coming back.
• Don't be afraid of checking yourself. It is harsh. That course with my friend... my God, he was calling me apart, telling me what was wrong with me, with no mercy. And that was wonderful. You do need to check yourself, or being checked by someone else, so that you can improve.

Take care and keep on moving.