A life-long learning process

To have a dynamic life, full of energy and meaning, it is important to understand that this is the greatest university!

Every day, every moment, at every interaction or chance to contemplate, you and I are learning. There is no ending for that.

So, I would like to suggest you two things.

First, always be OPEN TO LEARN. This requires humility and self-esteem, kindness and courage, and most importantly, the deep desire to progress.

Second, always be OPEN TO SHARE. You will need to feel the pulse of the person with whom you are sharing, teaching, coaching or mentoring. You will have to go beyond knowledge and trust your own wisdom. And share with generosity, openness, mercy and love.

We are sharing the same classroom, let’s make the best of it.

 

When coaching can’t work a miracle

I’ve started to study about coaching many years ago, but my first real experience to coaching was as an unwillingly coachee and the coach in this case just attacked me, by firing a series of questions. Of course, one of a coach’s skills is to confront the coachee, but I am sure that was coming from a very dark place as she just wanted me to change and I am sorry if I could not change in less than half an hour.

Maybe that is why I’ve taken time to embrace my role as a coach, because I do believe in it and my coachees have had very good experiences, but I don’t believe in miracles as my first unintended coach wanted. Unfortunately, many people advertise coaching as a way of doing miracles.

Coaching technique is fascinating and it really works, but we have to bear in mind any change is limited by three main actors: the coach, the coachee and life.

The coach must provide the best of themselves, making the effort to help the coachee to find new ways to attain whatever is not possible at present. Skills are important, but more than that is the will from the coach to benefit the other person and the energy she or he contributes to the process.

A coachee is not a passive actor and they require committing themselves with the task at hand: a personal change. Even though the coachee allows the coach to direct the process, they should be aware all the time and not fall into the trap of what the coach wants for me.

But life will play a valuable part here, by providing or not resources for the impossible to become possible. And there are times when even though both worked hardly and efficiently, things won’t work well… If that happens, both actors should remind themselves to find success in the failure in the form of a lesson or something intangible attained during that process, such as patience, and move on.

So, no miracles, but coaching is a very clever way to get changes taking place.

The art of teaching others

If you are a teacher of some kind, you probably agree that teaching is complicated and at the same time it is a wonderful call, a real art. It challenges and it gives a beautiful return too. As a proof there are so many books, movies (To Sir, with Love[1] anyone?) and TV series showing that noble profession in its best form.

However, when you are not their teacher and yet you need to teach them, things are different, whether you are a neighbor of someone who loves cats too much or you are the boss who wants to emphasize the value of a certain report to a rebellious employee.

In this case, wisdom will be the source instead of knowledge and there are a few things you can work to explain to other people when you are not their formal educator:

• Being the example. Particularly if you are in a long-term relationship, example is the best tool and it teaches with a few words. Just make sure your pupil is paying attention!
• Reflect about what you want to talk. It is fundamental to take some time by understanding what the lesson is, just like a good teacher who prepares their class.
• Look for the best tactic to talk to someone. Yes, you have a clear message, but how to impart it? There are several ways or methods, many different methodologies that can help you to do that…
• A dialogue. …but by opening a room for this person to enter and talk with you, you will see the lesson will be easier. The best way to teach someone, with the exception of a technical subject, is to let them to learn by themselves. That is…
• Be their coach! A wonderful alternative is to help them by using coaching techniques. There is a simple one which is asking open questions, questions with no YES/NO answer.

A final point: your attitude is the key for teaching other people. A problem with a few teachers is to think of students as ignorant people; if you do that with people who are not students (and, by the way, with students too), your lesson won’t reach them.

Wise people would never treat others as stupid, but they will see them as very intelligent capable people who want to learn something different, something they know.

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[1] To Sir with Love is a 1967 movie that shows the teaching profession in its brillance.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Sir,_with_Love

How to open the door of your learning?

Being an autodidact at some point was something as strange as the word itself; there has always been, but not many.

One of the reasons is that the Western teaching system has highly valued the role of the teacher, professor or guru and in some places or environments, it feels like there is no way to learn something without someone else teaching you.

Of course it is valuable to have a teacher, but today, in such a complex society and with so many learning needs, there are not enough teachers and YouTube, books, countless websites as well as many other platforms have become teachers in an unofficial way, training us to deal with new laws or how to plant carrots at home...

However, it doesn't matter if there is a teacher literally in front of you, a young girl with dyed hair talking on your computer screen or a fascinating book, the key to learning will always be YOU.

You and your mental openness, your thirst for knowledge, your desire to learn even while making mistakes... If we could use an analogy, we would say that learning is opening a door and no matter how splendid this methodology is or how necessary the subject is, that knowledge will not get in if the door is closed.

And although there isn't really a method that teaches you to open it, there are three elements that I think will help you learn anything:

• To give importance to the topic by learning, without exaggerating or minimizing.
• To be very humble, patient and determined since many of today's learning topics are updates of what you already know or not all methodologies give results in the time you expect.
• Practice a lot what you learned.

                                                                                                                                  

Let's look at the following scenario: you want to learn a new language.

• What will you learn it for? This question will open the perspective of importance, because if there is not really a strong or necessary reason, it will be difficult for you to separate the time and energy to learn. Another question you can ask is: Really, how long can you live well without knowing this?
• Second, be open to what they will teach you. In this case, it is fundamental that the apprentice gives his teacher time, because not all methodologies come out teaching you what you want immediately. If you want to confirm the validity of the methodology, talk to other students or people you know who are similar to you and reconfirm.
• Finally, find ways to practice. You can even go somewhere to volunteer and teach children this language you are learning. To teach always helps to strengthen what has been learned.

Learning in teaching

You could say teaching is learning in disguise.

The reason is simple: when you teach, you are making effort to transform ideas, particularly those that are ethereal into something more tangible, which makes you looking for great examples, research more or simply involve the class by asking questions. After this, the idea that you knew will have been transformed; in other words, you have learnt even more about that.

Many years ago, I went to a special 15-day course in India. When I arrive there, however, they had a lack in co-facilitators and I was asked to step in… That means, I really didn’t seat much during the course, as I had to help others to learn things that I was learning at the same time! The benefit was visible for me, as I was able to assimilate very difficult concepts because I had to invent new ways to explain them.

That does not mean you will just start teaching anything with the hopes that you will learn; you do need some basics for that and a good methodology, but it would help a lot if you teach more, share more and contribute more to others’ personal development.

Just be aware and at the end of a class, formal or not, check: What did I learn?

Lives always make sense – Reason 81

Most people do their best to get on with everyone around, at least those people who matter.  This is done because they are pertinent in their lives: they create an impact or they can support the person in their development.

Leaders will see every life as relevant and meaningful.  After all, if this person comes on her or his way, there is a reason, maybe even a secret behind their presence.

They have come to teach or to learn.  Perhaps, they have come to get something or to give something.  It is even possible they have come to create problems, so that the person may grow even more.

It seldom happens they have come so that the leader creates problems to them and in this way, they can grow even more.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

What your past can teach you...

Some animals can migrate for generations from and to the same places, keeping an astonishing record. This is the case of some whales, geese and even elephants... Their past teaches them how to live better, as there are some conditions in those places they would take too long looking for in other places.

How much does our past teach us?

As a whole species, reading the headlines and seeing what is happening today, I would dare to say we didn't learn much. We still see nations invading nations, people killing people and humanity destroying nature, and it has been like that for centuries.

But, at least in the last 50 years, our learning has been better. With information technology, stories travel faster and people also react faster. For instance, issues against gender... From one country to the other, it seems people protest for the same reasons. Sometimes, I am not sure to which country this news belongs as they all look the same.

That is what makes past valuable: when we are able to learn. First stage is to have the information and to start to create a new paradigm around that idea. Second stage is when we start to avoid those situations. But the last stage is the main one. It is when we replace habits and customs that we have learnt as wrong with something more elevated and dignified.

I will give you an example. Several women have been affected by acid thrown into their faces. The first stage works quite well and the information starts to travel around very fast. There is however some doubts in relation to its effectiveness as by spreading the news, other people learn about that and they can use it too against their own former wives or girl-friends...

The second stage is needed: laws that enforce the negativity of that behavior. However, that is when things start to get tricky... After a few weeks of acid-throwing acid, news came that a woman threw acid against another woman. What to do in this case, as it is not a gender issue? Later, a young man was also affected. When we restricted our vision to the negative side of the situations, we give power to that and people learn on how to avoid the new laws or the new hate it generates (up to this moment, I did not see comments against the neighbor who threw acid against her neighbor or the affected young man).

The third and last stage so that our past is really valuable is when we start to create a new model of society, where people are entitled to decide on their own destiny, where people who would be attacked feel secure because society approved their decision and those who would be the attackers have a support group or someplace where they can find treatment. In this way, that violence won't happen again?

A dreamer? Let's remember the case of slaves and how we took so long to get into the third stage of equality and normality. Let's also remember the economic effects on the mistakes we make...

But, don't wait for the collective starting to change. Start from your own life. Learn from your past. Avoid the mistakes you have made. Start to create a new life for you; in such a way not only your past won't repeat, but new opportunities emerge.

I am sure you will feel very happy by doing that!

The art of learning and teaching (The 16 celestial arts)

We start to learn from the very beginning of our life, and we don't stop until our breath ceases.

However, sometimes that lesson we have learned is forgotten in the waves of life, as there are too many things happening around all the time. This is why teaching is important too.

Although teaching is the word, a more proper expression would be SHARING, because that is what teaching means: sharing whatever you have with others in such a way besides they receive it, they also imbibe it.

The trick behind teaching is: the more you teach, the more you learn. There is no doubt for anyone who ever taught anything how much they have learned through that.

The art of learning and teaching therefore is not only assimilation of new ideas, but it is also the capacity to transfer them and imbibe them even more. When you develop this art you will feel that you will ever have something new to learn, no matter your age or degree of knowledge...