I’ve
started to study about coaching many years ago, but my first real experience to
coaching was as an unwillingly coachee and the coach in this case just attacked
me, by firing a series of questions. Of course, one of a coach’s skills is to
confront the coachee, but I am sure that was coming from a very dark place as she
just wanted me to change and I am sorry if I could not change in less than half
an hour.
Maybe that
is why I’ve taken time to embrace my role as a coach, because I do believe in
it and my coachees have had very good experiences, but I don’t believe in
miracles as my first unintended coach wanted. Unfortunately, many people
advertise coaching as a way of doing miracles.
Coaching
technique is fascinating and it really works, but we have to bear in mind any
change is limited by three main actors: the coach, the coachee and life.
The coach
must provide the best of themselves, making the effort to help the coachee to
find new ways to attain whatever is not possible at present. Skills are
important, but more than that is the will from the coach to benefit the other
person and the energy she or he contributes to the process.
A coachee
is not a passive actor and they require committing themselves with the task at
hand: a personal change. Even though
the coachee allows the coach to direct the process, they should be aware all
the time and not fall into the trap of what
the coach wants for me.
But life
will play a valuable part here, by providing or not resources for the
impossible to become possible. And there are times when even though both worked
hardly and efficiently, things won’t work well… If that happens, both actors
should remind themselves to find success in the failure in the form of a lesson
or something intangible attained during that process, such as patience, and move on.
So, no
miracles, but coaching is a very clever way to get changes taking place.
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