An exploration of resilience

 

Resilience is one of those qualities we often discover when we need it most. We may not even realize how much we have developed it until we look back at a difficult period and recognize that, somehow, we made it through.

After a crisis, one good outcome is realizing our resilience has supported us. I still remember my last job crisis: the two years it lasted, how I felt during that time, the effort I made to maintain calmness in my mind, and the relief I experienced when it finally ended. It wasn't easy, but looking back, I can also see how much I learned about myself.

Resilience is built on many wonderful qualities: hope, courage, patience and inner stability. But I've come to realize more recently that flexibility is an essential ingredient connecting them all. After all, life inevitably changes direction without asking for our permission. And rather than breaking under the pressure, we can learn to adapt and discover new ways forward.

Of course, resilience isn't just about surviving a crisis. It's also about growing through it, learning from our experiences, and becoming better equipped to face future challenges. We may not be able to choose everything that happens to us, but we can gradually develop the inner resources to respond in healthy way.

And because resilience comes from within, practices such as meditation, contemplation and self-reflection can help us strengthen it. They give us opportunities to pause, understand our feelings, and find stability beyond the circumstances around us.

There is another beautiful aspect of resilience: it doesn't benefit only us. When we learn to remain steady through difficulties, our presence can also support others, while our patience, courage and flexibility may inspire others to keep going and move ahead.

I don’t think resilience is about becoming unbreakable and never fail. It's more about learning how to accommodate without losing ourselves, learning the best lessons, how to keep the self from becoming bitter and how to move forward without losing hope.

Resilience is about bringing about the best, even in the worse situations.

Is there anything like too much learning?

 

Everybody should be learning something, anything. Everything!

Right?

I do think so… and yet, I wonder…

Let’s take someone with a very high level of education who ends up driving a taxi. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a taxi driver or having any honest profession. But what if that person’s dream was different and all those years of study never became useful for what they really wanted to do?

Or think about someone who becomes so highly educated that people around them eventually stop listening. Nobody wants to hear the latest discoveries in Chemistry or Math at every social gathering! The list of situations like this could be very long.

For me, the important question is not how much we learn, but how that learning contributes to life.

Many theories are fascinating. In today’s world, some theories can even become more powerful than reality! But a theory only becomes truly meaningful when there is some possibility of putting it into practice.

So, what is the benefit of learning something we are never going to use?

Of course, learning Japanese can be super interesting. Learning quantum physics, ancient history or how to play the piano can enrich our minds. And sometimes, learning has value simply because it expands who we are.

But perhaps there is also a point in which learning becomes accumulation rather than development.

Maybe real learning is not about knowing more and more. Probably it is about allowing what we know to make a difference in our actions, how we relate to others, how we understand life and, ultimately, how we live it.

A Toy...

 

I loved toys and games. I could spend hours playing and, looking back, I think I was doing more than having fun. Playing was a way of escaping from a not-so-ideal childhood, connecting with people who were somehow like me and, simply, enjoying myself.

Some of those toys are long gone, but a few of the things I learned through them are still around.

The important thing is not winning the game. There was one particular game I loved playing with my friends. It was extremely complicated and the competition could last forever! But I never kept the score. What I remember is being there, playing together. The game was a bridge to other people.

Maybe this is worth remembering today as we play many different games at work, in our families and in society. Winning can be important, but if it becomes more important than the people we are playing with, we may win the game and lose something much more valuable.

The best toys are not necessarily the most beautiful ones. I remember having a model of the Pink Panther that I absolutely loved. It was ugly, made of cheap plastic and probably not very good quality. But I enjoyed playing with it.

It makes me think about how easily we confuse appearance with value. Some of the best things in life don't come in beautiful packages. I feel what matters most is not how something looks, but what it brings into our lives.

And then there are desires. My mother, with a lot of sacrifice, managed to get me a very expensive toy. And on my birthday, other kids broke it… I don't think I ever completely recovered from that! But perhaps it was a good lesson and later, I realized that our desires can sometimes take us in the wrong direction. I am sure now I did not need that expensive piece of plastic and metal. What I really wanted was simply to play with the other kids in the street…

We do something similar as adults. We create expectations about people, relationships, work, possessions and the future, and many times, we forget to appreciate what is already there.

I guess growing up doesn't mean leaving our toys behind, but to understand what they were trying to teach us.

What about you? What are the toys and games you remember from childhood and what can they still teach you about life today?