Happiness in times of Facebook

Sometime ago, a video started to circulate around. It is a short film called What's in your mind? and it touches the very delicate subject of happiness in times of Facebook.

Facebook and social network in general, is a new wave. Very little we know about their effect on our society, lifestyle and way to perceive the world. Let's go back a little and compare with other phenomena.

I will take as an example Brazilian soap opera. It is a very established business and part of Brazilian culture. Many times, the country stops working because something great is happening there - so, try to calculate the loss in terms of money and time, in an almost 200 million people country... What about its impact? It has influenced the way of speaking, fashion, values and customs all over the place, and songs that are part of their soundtrack become hits. Nobody realized this when it started to get importance. In fact, when I was a child, it was not considered manly to watch a soap opera... Now the impact is done and Brazilians coordinate even their schedules and routine according to the timing of their favorite soap opera.

Is it something similar happening in social networks? About two years ago, Facebook was the first webpage opened daily at people's workplace, replacing emails... Many people follow what others are doing, stories pass through very quickly and pictures allow you to feel you are part of something. It unites in a sense, seeing a friend's wedding you could not attend or listening to motivational stories.

But it creates a false sense of friendship. A person I know who don't have many real and deep friends, has more than 2,000 friends in his preferred social network... Problem is when bad situations arise; these 2,000 people will only press Like, or will give him a nice Comment. They won't call him or offer him a job.

I have seen the difference between people you know's comments and people you don't really know's comments... Sometimes, the first group is even better in words but it is normally the second group that extends their hand to help you in a time of need.

And what can happen in a society when people start to realize their so-called friends didn't come when they really need it? That is something we are still waiting to see, the psychological impact of finally discerning reality from "virtuality".

At this time of social networks reigning all over the world, it is very important to tell the difference between real sensations and the fake ones. It seems our minds are not clear about and we can cry the same amount if our aunt dies or watching a touching video someone posted in their wall. But, we see the difference... Don't we?

Happiness has three different levels. One is very external and is provoked by anything, manifesting as joy, cheers and screams; it is that happiness you felt when your team scored or your son got that wonderful job. All levels of happiness are good anyway, but this level cannot be sustained for long. After all, one day your team will not score or your son will fail to get what he wants. So, you cannot rely on this level to be happy; if you do so, your happiness will not be constant. In other words, when you get a Like or someone Shares your post, you get happiness; when they "unfriend" you, that happiness is over.

A second level comes from attainments. More than your team scoring; an achievement means something that will be with you forever. When your son graduated, that is something nobody can steal from him, and from you. He IS a lawyer... forever... This is a more permanent level and it can provide you happiness for a long time. Still... well, things happen, and people don't like lawyers that much. Sometimes, even while having the attainment in your hands, you can forget its meaning. And it is the meaning that generates happiness. It is a kind of happiness you want to post, to show everyone how happy you are.

The third level comes from inside you. It is the happiness a little baby shows in their face, smiling or looking serene and peaceful. It is that wonderful energy that makes the baby, and some wise souls, to laugh and clap, even though there is no apparent reason. We all have that happiness inside, and it is always there. We just need to tap into it to feel happy, no matter the circumstances around us. It is a kind of happiness you want to post, to inspire others to feel as happy as you are, because you know they are that happy. Always.

So, while enjoying the wonders of Internet, don't forget, ever, this third level of happiness. Enjoy your Likes and Shares, but look inside you and check constantly that wonderful treasure of happiness you have is being used for you and for others.