Preparation for a successful New Year

The New Year is not just a set of positive affirmations. Nor is the denial of reality, as you cannot drown your problems in a euphoria that lasts hours or up to a few days.

New Year is something SERIOUS, for which we need three keys to ensure its success: lots of creativity, meditation and humor. How to experience this?

Creativity will grant you novelty in life. Old formulas tend to give a lot of pain ... It is better to reinvent the self. Change your consciousness, use new attitudes, try a change in your way of seeing the world and of course, some physical changes are always beneficial. Do not forget that you have a potential MUCH bigger than what you do now - explore it without fear, with love towards yourself and enthusiasm to transform the life you lead.

Meditate and experience a new inner world, an infinite world that can never end. It is the experience of who you really are, in contrast to the experience of your current state. It is living this inner happiness in your being, which is there, waiting you to leave aside old habits of unhappiness and sadness. Meditate. Daily.

And do not forget that New Year is something serious, because your life is at stake. So never miss your good humor. No matter what happens, do not let the smile disappear from your heart and watch everything going on around you as a new opportunity, something wonderful. Through humor you have the unique chance to feel like a little child for whom the world is always open to give the best it has.

If you only work on these three keys in your life, you will see the overall success which will take shape before your eyes. A success that will not only make you feel full, it will inspire many other people too.

May you have an incredible New Year!

My MERRY CHRISTMAS to you...

One of the most special times of the year is its end. It seems that the entire population of the world (almost) begins to rethink their year, their life and existence, reviewing what has been accomplished and achieved, what was missing and what can be done for next year. But before that, we celebrate a very special date.

Although Christmas is Christian, its message has exceeded the barriers of religion and culture. It is a message of renewal, forgiveness and charity that cannot be ignored, but sometimes is confused with limited trade and mercy.

As it comes so close to the end of the year, allows us a deeper reflection, because as humans it is how we grow: we reflect, we expand our awareness and then share with others.

Want to give yourself a gift? Answer a few questions and apply their answers in your own life. If you want, send them to other people who can benefit from this reflection:

• How I have renewed my own self? Christmas means birth. The image of little baby Jesus born in a stable has a deep spiritual meaning: it is the highest and purest awareness born in a fallen world to help it to improve and transform. Do you let this new awareness that wants to stay afloat become part of your own life? It is an awareness that connects you directly with God and the divine we all have.
• To what extent have I forgiven? Many negative situations happen to us and hurt us. Forgiveness is the magic balm we have in our heart that allows us to move forward and enable others to keep on going. It is the ability to understand and find internal resources to grow, no matter the tragedy we have experienced. Also, the more we forgive, we will feel healthier inside.
• How much charity have I done this year? I think for some people that means to give someone a few cents, or maybe clothes that nobody else uses in the house ... Charity truly begins in the mind, where I understand my own treasures and decide to share with others. Charity can be in the form of a smile given to someone in a difficult time, a word of encouragement, something physical you value but you know it will be more useful to others, and mainly a genuine positive thinking towards the other.

May this Christmas be the time when your heart is satisfied and you can satisfy others' hearts!

The art of organizing (The 16 celestial arts)

On the 70's and 80's, the art of organization left some areas of human society and got into the mainstream of our own society. It became common - several agendas emerged, diaries, PDAs, etc.

However, what happened was the opposite of what should happen. As more means for self-organization started to be used, more organization was needed! So, more - new and sophisticated - gadgets came into existence. Result: more organization is needed.

A common person doesn't talk to his or her friends most of the time - no statistics here, but reality is that social interaction has decreased at least 80% in relation to the 60's. Sorry, no Facebook counting here... talking about REAL interaction, 3D, touching and feeling... After all, according to an old experiment, we humans need physical contact to grow and develop ourselves.

Also, tasks are not less and not better manageable because we have more instruments. Just look at a normal airport and you can see errors increasing at a fast pace - lost luggage, more time in queues than actual flying, etc.

Organizing yourself is not something you can assign to a machine. When you and I act, we use all our energies for that - time, money, intelligence, emotions, experience, desires, dreams, etc. How much of that you can really transfer to a Google Calendar?

Clarification: nothing wrong about using instruments. I use them. I just don't rely on them.

The art of organizing comes from another art... an old and almost lost art, the art of writing.

Writing is something different than typing, as the former is more art than mechanic, the basics of typing. So, just try to organize yourself by using your own hands.

For instance, I have an agenda of priorities. It is a basic text file, easy to manage. After putting into it all priorities I have, I start to write each one of them into a piece of paper. After that, I prioritize them.

The result is a very interesting sense of satisfaction when I see the pile of slips of paper disappearing around...

Start with a small to-do list. Perhaps a wish-to-do list. Experiment with yourself and you will see its impact in your organization process as a whole.

The art of keeping others happy and healthy (The 16 celestial arts)

A basic principle in life is that you cannot really change another person. But you can cooperate with their own change.

You can make someone superficially happy, if you give them a gift or you cook something nice for them. Economy works around happiness too: when people get some kind of happiness, they invest more of whatever they have into that; then people start to get unhappy, countries suffer as their investment leave to happier places.

But, to keep someone happy and healthy, thinking of healthy as a state of being, that is not so easy.

Yet, it is very easy. Just keep YOURSELF happy and healthy. It is a reality that you give whatever you have to others. So, if you have plenty of happiness that is what you are going to give them. If you yourself are feeling unhappy, that unhappiness will go towards them too.

Happiness is more than just smile or feeling good inside. It is a state where you feel all your needs are satisfied and the role you perform in this world is for enhancement, not for survival. It is that powerful feeling inside the heart that all is OK, all is good and all will always be good, no matter what.

Happiness is the best medicine as it relieves the mental stress and open new possibilities in life. When you tap into that deep resource we humans have, naturally you will give that to others.

The art of remaining happy and content (The 16 celestial arts)

Being happy is the aim of our lives. It does not matter how we try to accomplish that - by working 14 hours a day, moving to another country or even, paradoxically, starting a war - we all aim to be happy. Not only happy; happiness and contentment should be together.

If you see from this point of view, you will understand all social, technological and economic changes in the world today. Those changes indicate the lack of happiness and the attempt to get that.

It is not a small thing, happiness. A few countries are starting to give importance to it and, in this way; they try to value the most important reason why we work so much... But it is not an easy task.

And, what about you? Do you value happiness more than your job, your exercises and the party last night? Yes, you do all of that because you believe you can be happy and content, at least at some point of your life. However, many times we forget that on our way towards happiness.

It is important to remember, from time to time, the reasons behind the actions, words and thoughts. And, from time to time, the art of remaining happy and content will provide you with the capacity to reflect on your own self, and to understand what is happening to you. If necessary, you will feel the inner power to stir the boat of your life towards the right direction. Towards being fully happy and content.

The art of developing (The 16 celestial arts)

As humans, we don't stop growing. Well, physically things work differently... but in terms of mental, social and spiritual skills, we can grow as much as we want, no matter the age or body conditions.

Learning is a skill, and you can also learn that. With time and comfort, we get attached to the convenient way of doing things. We prefer to stay at our comfort zone and we don't dare to go beyond that. This makes us to stop growing, or even shrinking...

Learning is a special art of life, where you are able to renounce some convictions and allow yourself to experience with something else. It is not that you only assimilate knowledge; your awareness stretches and you become a different person with that.

Learning creates change. Not the change that comes from outside, but the change that comes from a deep realization and experimentation.

How to learn? That is the question today more than any other moment in history as everything is really available, so there are no excuses to not learn. And if you are a person with difficulties to learn something, try this:

• Understand the reason you should learn something. Is this worthwhile? Do you really need that? Will this contribute for your growth or for others'? If the answer is YES, then go ahead, but if the answer is NO, learn an important lesson: learn only that is valuable for you, otherwise your learning process will turn into a struggle.
• Look for a method to learn. Not all methods are good to everyone. Try yours! Talk to others and check how they do it. Rehearse, change and rehearse again until you feel you are really learning.
• Don't get enticed by knowledge. Learning is a dance for two, and experience is also very important.
• Don't let yourself get lost into experience. Theory is fundamental so that experience can be repeated or reenacted.
• Fix certain aims for learning. Not too high, not too low, something that can be achieved.
• Enjoy learning! A lot! It has to be funny, interesting and motivating by itself.

The main advantage of this skill in your life will the easiness to change, as change means adaptation and adaptation means learning.

The art of refreshing (The 16 celestial arts)

In such a stressful world, relaxation is pricy. Most of a normal person's money goes towards what we could call "means of relaxation": tours, hotels, movies (in-house or at a cinema), SPA, etc.

It is a concept: if you are stressed, go and relax yourself! This concept has become a paradigm and we all live under that, at least at some point of our lives. The problem is that when you finished with the relaxation, eventually you have to come back to the stressing situations. Good perhaps for the economy, but bad for people. And if it is bad for people, definitely will be bad for economy on the long term.

So, this skill is very valuable. When you learn to refresh yourself, revitalizing your mind and body, whilst amidst your own duties within your household or work, you would have find paradise at your doorstep.

Is it even possible? Yes, it is. It requires practice and discipline, but as soon as you have the knowledge and the skill to relax yourself, you can do it even under stress.

This skill helps you to keep balance in your life and to improve your health in many dimensions - physical, mental, emotional, etc. But, how to do it?

First of all, you have to really understand yourself and what relaxes you and what does not relax you. Think of relaxation of a massage session; some people leave the session sighing and celebrating the distension, but others leave it feeling pain all over the body. In other words, relaxation is not a general formula...

When you relax, things seem easier, you feel full of energy and very well, and you can solve problems much faster than under stress. So, what does relax you? It is not really the means, but the way you see them. Relaxation starts in your attitude, not at a SPA.

As a spiritual person, the main attitude that brings relaxation is the feeling that I am just an instrument; I don't need to worry about anything. Other people I know relax with the attitude that this will pass very soon, so let me enjoy it and learn from it. What is the attitude you have that relaxes you more than anything?

When you answered that, then you can choose the best instrument or means for your relaxation. You will need at least one that can be used daily. For me, it is meditation, but for other people is walking daily at a park. It would be good if you have one instrument that allows you to relax at any moment, like a minute-length meditation.

If you do that, you will see that you will become more productive, happy and satisfied with your life, and with other people. And that is worth the price to create a discipline and develop this skill.

The art of reforming (The 16 celestial arts)

Transformation is in the minds of many and definitely SOME transformation happens. Not necessarily the one we would like to experience.

Let's look into the present world and we will see so many signs of transformation:

• The ascension of BRIC. This is changing not only this present period of world history, but it is the first time when Economy has been as the main changing factor and the first time when at least one power will be in the South Hemisphere (Brazil).
• Climate change. Denied by many (not sure HOW they deny it...), this is affecting more and more economies and societies. At least one country is trying to "move out" as its citizens see their shores being taken by the ocean and that is happening even in one of the biggest countries denying the obvious...
• Social networks replacing social interaction. We can't be blind; people are more into some kind of social networking (including chats and constant email) than talking to human beings.

And much more! But, I guess that was not that the transformation we would expect... For instance, it would be wonderful to read something like this in a future newspaper:

• A human commonwealth. Wealth and poor countries joint efforts to create a unique human society where money is not the main factor. They guaranteed the basics for everyone (food, health, shelter, education and communication) and they created a new method of economic interaction, based in talents rather than money.
• Earth is balanced. After many millennia, humans were able to establish a sustainable balance with the rest of Earth, which prevented the destruction of the environment and the end of many species.
• Humans are humans. It is almost laughable to think that at some point in history, people were paying attention more to a flat screen or a computer screen than to their fellow human beings. Present society values and encourages personal interaction with the normal positive consequences for health and wealth.

A dreamer? Perhaps... But, you see, what is lacking is not something macro or global, it is MY and YOUR transformation, a transformation that comes from will not from obligation. A transformation that starts from mind and awareness, not at some government palace.

When that transformation happens, even though one human being gets transformed, a reaction chain will generate enough energy to affect the whole world. And dreams will come true...

The art of dealing with others (The 16 celestial arts)

One issue that is increasing in the world is that many reports on researches have been published about the increasing number of people living by themselves even in countries with a more family, group or team-driven mentality, like Colombia and India.

And it is not only a question of living: how many one-passenger cars do you see every day? How many people chose to work by themselves, or are seen jogging or enjoying life alone?

This affects economy and society in ways that we are just starting to understand. In fact, there is nothing bad about being alone, but what is the reason? Is it a choice out of reflection or it is the result of not being able to cope with others?

If the second question is more realistic, then it is necessary to develop the skill of dealing with other people. We are social people - at some point or another, we will need each other, perhaps sooner than later.

As it is a skill, or an art, we can learn that. We can learn that wonderful art our ancestors had to learn when they had to live and work with people who were not family, part of their own race or religion. We can learn the necessary art of accepting and appreciating each other as we are.

It does not mean that everyone has to be friend to each other. With some people definitely your relationship will be casual, only a small connection. But it has to come from a personal choice rather of incapacity to deal with others.

Here are some points to bear in mind whilst developing this skill:

• Be patient. Whatever you do to help relationship with another person will bear fruit in time. But not necessarily right now. Just don't lose hope, don't stop watering the seeds of good deeds, wishes or words.
• Look for the common ground. We can always find something we have in common with other people. That is the beginning of the bridge between you and others.
• Less social network, more social presence. At least understand that people, real people, are crucial for our own growth as humans. And go for it, talk to them, meet them and enjoy their way of being.
• Enjoy the opposites. Contrary to nature, we always to try and look for similar people. Try to talk to someone who like what you dislike; just enjoy a refreshing point of view, something you never thought before. Enjoy it, instead of raging about it.
• Discriminate. In the good sense, learn who can be your friends and who can't be that. If someone can't be your friend but you have to live with them, reflect on it - ask "why?". If someone is not your friend, but you have to work with them, make agreements and develop the skill of dialogue.

If you do that, you will realize the greatness other people have. And you will end enjoying dealing with others.

The art of friendship (The 16 celestial arts)

As social beings, one of the main skills we need to develop is the art of friendship. But for that, you need first of all to win some friends.

A relative is something different; you don't choose. But a friend comes from a choice and a selection. It comes from your own power of discernment and decision-making.

Whilst some people can give you very powerful tips on how to get friends, we have to understand that word a little better. A friend is not something so easy as he will share your deepest secrets, and he or she will share  theirs. It is like doing an open-heart surgery: you need courage and clarity on what you are doing.

Probably the period of life we have more friends is during our childhood. Innocence helps a lot as we don't request too much and there are not that many secrets to share anyway. Along the life, number of friends decreases until you have very few. Out of those few, some are just for mentioning but there will be even fewer you can count on them for anything, and they will count on you for anything.

Translating that into a world of competition, where people try to beat you all the time and the chances for prosperity look smaller and smaller, that means those selected people in your life that you know will back you up no matter what happens.

A friend is someone who can help you in many different ways like listening without judging, offering help without waiting for reward and loving you, even when you are not lovable...

Yes, that will definitely help you in your productivity or in finding a better job. Or simply, it will help you to be a better human being, because that is the reason of having friends.

And how to get a friend? Any formula?

My main advice is just to not get too shy with people, don't get used to the Facebook "friends" and allow life to put you in touch with people you can get tuned easily.

When you do have a friend, avoid too many emails or text messages and make your best to share some quality moments together. You will feel the difference in your life when that happens.

You can't hunt or buy a friend, but I am sure there are lots of people out there who are just waiting for you to open a little bit and let them enter in your life.

Enjoy friendship!

The 16 celestial arts

I´ve mentioned during the post on skills of the self about this idea, which I find brilliant, of the celestial arts.

The word in Hindi for celestial arts is of difficult translation: Kala. It is related to the circus arts, which is a mix between art and skill. The translation is an open choice, indicating that is an art that takes you to heaven.

In other words, to be spiritual in this world requires from you to manage life like a circus artist: on a day-to-day basis, rehearsing all the time and expecting the maximum of the self at the crucial moment, when that adverse or difficult situation emerges in your life.

The number sixteen indicates the number of degrees for the full moon, a traditional symbol of dynamic perfection. Both words mean that to reach perfection takes from you the effort to transform the self by applying those arts and understanding that perfection is possible, but it is dynamic: sometimes you are full moon, whilst other times...

I will be talking about these arts in the next sixteen posts. I will make my best to make the matter practical and applicable in life.

Take care for now...

Awareness... why is that so important for a leader?

One of the stories I enjoy more about Nelson Mandela is related to the period he spent in prison. According to the story, his only daily exercise for some time was to walk around, he used to do that by himself but other inmates used to watch him. They used to get some encouragement by seeing him.

Sometimes however he was not feeling well. Conditions were very hard, so disheartenment used to come to him and he would think of not going out, just stay at his cell. But the idea of his inmates not seeing him even for one day... not getting what they could get from him... that idea would move him out of his cell, to the open small space where he used to walk.

The consequences of that leadership would be legendary, if it is not history: he became one day president of that same country. President of his own cell and the space he used to walk around... Even president over those who did that to him.

Behind his position in the government, Mandela had that unique gift a few have nowadays: he was a leader. His leadership was not much getting things done or focus on results, as today people associate leadership with. It was BEING the leader, the model for his people and the embodiment of his own ideas.

In fact, it is not leadership that is missing in a world where the axis of power is shifting North to South, West to East. It is not leadership that is missing in a world where resources are getting shorter and shorter.

Leadership is around. There is the potential there. But it is so often mixed with being a manager that is not working as it should. And the reason is that awareness we could see in Mandela and many others.

A leader, when she or he is awaken to his or her own potential, and its use for the society in general, there is nothing that can prevent a leader to fulfill a mission and to reach a goal.

If you feel sometimes you really don't want to do anything, you just want to flow with the world and it does not matter what happens, probably that means awareness is missing somewhere. You can even be an excellent boss, a good father or a very caring neighbor, but when crisis come you won't be able to overcome them. You will be one more, protesting against those who should be the leaders.

Irony is that you could be one too. Just wake up...

The struggle between Spirituality and Religion III

This is the third and last post of an article intended to help understanding the phenomenon of spiritual groups, something that is increasing its influence in the world today.

The struggle between Spirituality and Religion II

This is the second part of an article intended to help understanding the phenomenon of spiritual groups, something that is increasing its influence in the world today. Next week, the last post.

The struggle between Spirituality and Religion I

This is an article intended to help understanding the phenomenon of spiritual groups, something that is increasing its influence in the world today. It will be posted in three different weeks.

The skills of the self

An old book talked about the sixteen celestial arts, a series of skills the self needs to be happy in life. It included things like the art of developing, friendship, thinking and even the art of remaining happy and content.

Not, it is obvious nobody will put this into his or her curriculum... And no sensible company would hire someone because she masters the art of "concealing and revealing" or he is an expert in the art of "refreshing".

However, when people are working in a day-to-day basis, these arts turn to be the key for a person who wants to grow in the company because even though companies value techniques, knowledge and skills, the skills of the self are the ones which will help you to move forward. Even though you are in a company, you're still human.

The skills of the self are those virtues, values or qualities in general, plus those abilities that allow people to live with people, enabling them to overcome obstacles and to face the challenges that come on their way with victory.

Although some would have that naturally, developing those skills are not that different than any other skill. You will need for that:

• Knowledge. You really need to understand what patience means to develop it. Study and research are key.
• Attitude. A skill is nothing without a proper attitude to back it up. If you, for instance, want to develop patience, you need an attitude of understanding, perspective and maturity.
• Practice. A big part of any skill to be developed is to rehearse it. When you think of patience, you probably acknowledge there are situations which are easier for you to be patient with, and other situations that are much more difficult; practicing means trying first with those situations that are easy for you and then, gradually, trying the more difficult ones.

Even though you won't be able to mention these skills to your future client, I tell you one thing: many times, that is the real reason they are hiring you.

Learning wisdom

You can learn knowledge in many places using different methods. Especially during certain times of our economic cycle or our own lives, the knowledge we have is measured and taken in consideration. You can earn more or less according to how much you know, and not only money: that can help you in relationships, your health or spiritual choices.

But there is a moment when knowledge is not enough. If two tech guys apply for a job, yes, their knowledge will be taken in consideration, but sometimes their experiences are more valuable. So, at some points, knowledge becomes less important than skills. In normal life, it is that moment when your son does not believe in what you say but in what you do...

Then, later, success starts to be important and that is a very crucial point in anyone's lives, when that really starts to matter. So, it is not only knowledge - now at the bottom of priorities - but your experience will be considered according to how much success you have experienced, and not only that: success that matters for the company in case. It is when your son does not believe in your actions anymore, except when they give good results.

Again, there is a subtle point in life when success is not that crucial. Maybe because people tend to be surrounded by peers and one successful person among many others does not count so much. It is in that point your wisdom starts to be valued.

In our world, as I said, there are so many places to learn knowledge and many different methodologies. The same applies to skills and there are easy tactics to get experience and to reach success. What about wisdom?

That is probably the last place in a person's timeline. It is that point when the person feels completely assured by whatever he or she does. She does not bother so much with others' opinion and he has a wise smile in his face all the time.

The question is: how to learn or attain wisdom? There is no school for that and no management tool to help you get it. And as it is the end of our success pathway, it is good if we can really work on that. I have a few suggestions, and I hope they are useful for you:

• Reflect about your path. Take out some moments of your busy schedule to just figure what happened in your life up to this moment.
• Be holistic about your life. Although we tend to compartmentalize, it is important to know life is just one... look at it as a whole thing avoiding focusing more on your work area than your relationships, for instance.
• Contemplate about your future. Planning is good, but for wisdom, contemplation is much more valued, which means take some time looking into the horizon of your life with your intuition or your spiritual awareness, accepting what is coming and embracing it.
• Meditate daily. Meditation awakens certain parts of the self that helps wisdom to come faster and faster.
• Before making any decision, stop even for a minute and talk to yourself. It does not matter if it is a big or small decision, stop and reflect on that.
• When in doubt, talk to a wiser person. Not Google; ok, "talk" to Google, but then go and talk to a wiser person about the issue in your mind.
• Value silence more than sound. An easy way to recognize someone wise is his or her silence, which is deep and powerful.
• Enjoy life as a child. Wise people are like children, they are able to play, sing and dance, and enjoy good and innocent fun.
• Don't think too much. A common mistake is to feel wise people think a lot; that is not true, their time is more in contemplation, reflection and meditation, states of mind when thoughts are fewer.
• Speak what is necessary. To know exactly what to speak is an art a wise person masters.
• Act as if everyone is looking at you. A wise person always acts as if she or he is giving examples at every step.
• Act as if nobody is looking. A wise person does not act according to others' opinion.
• Treasure the contradictions in life. For an ordinary person, contradictions are synonym for confusion, while for a wise person it means an efficient way to generate a powerful thinking.

And much more... If there would be a university with a Wisdom course, that would take a couple of years, and it would be different for each person. My feeling is that when you start to awaken your own wisdom - which is how we learn it - then success becomes easier too.

Moments of leadership

Is it possible to be a leader sometimes?

We hear here and there about acts of leadership - a hero here, a boss who has an incredible insight there, a mother whose children are brought up to be leaders or a young woman who challenges the status quo. And, yes, these people are expressing some of the most precious and natural qualities of a leader.

However, to be a leader is something much deeper, because when you are a leader you ARE. Just as you cannot say you are a man six hours a day and the rest of the time you are a woman, the same thing happens with leaders as they are the embodiment of many qualities which are present at all times.

When you look at those people whose acts of leadership came into a newspaper, you will see that was just a moment; after that, they went back to their position as followers.

The reason behind is that EVERYONE HAS THE QUALITIES TO BE A LEADER. More than a decade ago, when I have started to work on leadership, I have realized from my own experience initially and observing others later, that all have the potential to be leaders.

Some people they use those qualities to perform some tasks, but they do not develop their own leadership. Others just ignore them...

If you are one of these people and you can see yourself as a leader at some points of your life, just know that you have those qualities. It depends on your own endeavor to become the leader you can be.

How to be REALLY productive

An article reminded me of my own search of productivity. You see, to produce is one of the four main functions a human being has. It is not something materialistic or capitalist, it is part of being.

For some people, to be productive means to go beyond the expectations of their bosses. For some, it is to sell more. For others, to get the highest marks at an exam. Others will feel productive when after they run for two hours, their bodies start to respond positively.

Some people will find themselves productive when they are able to perform the delicate art of being good parents. Others, when they are able to celebrate their 50th. anniversary married to the same person.

Productivity is however not only based on personal sensations. Whatever others feel and express about us is also part of that and it does happen sometimes I feel I was very productive and someone else finds me a lazy person...

This is why the key point here is the criteria and to make sure others have the same points to check on you. If your criteria are not clear, then it is possible that you produce, and give very good results, but you won't be productive. Or if your criteria don't match others', then stress is one of the main outcomes here as there will be pressure on you.

To be productive as a person means that your personal resources are used in the best way possible. The less waste, more productive you are. And in terms of a person, it is good to check everyday on the self and see how to improve your own productivity because the result of that is a very deep satisfaction that you are fulfilling your role in the world stage.

Embracing change and transformation

As beings, we were born for transformation. It is not our purpose in life, but we all transform, without any exception.

As human beings, our transformation happens in many levels. Yes, there is the physical transformation and no matter how many surgeries you do, your body has just one tendency: growing and decaying. However, there is one transformation that impacts all others and that is in the area of awareness.

There are many reports on awareness and lots of research, but what is the importance for that?

Awareness, just like the body, has a tendency to "grow". That means a baby is much less aware than a teenager. However, after a while we reach a kind of maturity and then awareness stops "growing".

Awareness growth means learning and being able to change, and coping with changes. When your awareness is growing you can feel how you are able to change your mind, you are open to embrace people who are different than you and you keep on trying new things. It happened the last time when you were an adventurer, ready to try new routes for your work, holidays or creating a family.

But, just like with the body, sometimes you can feel some stiffness ("I can't accept that!"), tiredness ("This is too much for me!") or lack of strength ("This is my principle, but I can't uphold to it anymore!"). Just like with the body, you can do some exercises and keep it fit, but different than the body your awareness can get younger and ready for new things. Your awareness can get a new life...

If you really need to embrace changes at a faster speed, or you are going through times of crisis or chaos in your life, you need to exercise your awareness right now. The best method I know for that is meditation as it disconnects you from the external environment and it opens you for a deep inner experience.

When you meditate constantly you will notice that changes won't affect you negatively so much. Gradually, you will be able to cope with changes better and start your own changes in life until you get to that transformation, the final process in a chain of changes.

Your awareness will never get old, will never decay and you will be able to appreciate life from a totally new point of view.

How to check yourself?

If you are in a company and want to have success in a project, checking is a vital element to get that. Simply saying, when you check you know how far or how close you are from success, then you can make effective decisions in relation to the use of resources. If you don't check, well, you can reach there by sheer luck or a long experience...

Checking also avoids stress - hummm... I can see you're frowning on that. It is right that some checking methods are so complex that you need too much time for that and what was supposed to prevent stress turns into one of the big stress triggers. But it is not the checking in itself, rather it is the method you used for that.

Anyway, what happens if you want to reach success? Do you really want to get there?

I am sure you want, so a proper checking method is necessary for that. In general, checking covers two main areas of success:

• Quantity. You always have some measurement for that which can be money, free hours to spend with family or number of times you have smiled in one single day. It is easy if your notion of success is measurable, and it is always is. Checking quantity helps you to weight the amount of resources you need to invest, withdraw or get from somewhere; resources in this case can be people's help, skills, money and many other factors that come from outside.
• Quality. That is a bit trickier... Quality is subject to whatever you aim in your life, in this case, whatever you consider as success. For instance, if you buy a TV screen, what are the main points you will check in relation to its quality? Probably the quality of the image (if you are a technical person, you will be talking on display resolution and pixels; otherwise, how nice it looks), the quality of the material in terms of durability, etc. So, if you want to have success in your life, what are the main elements you need to check so that success is something that looks good, lasts in time, etc.?

That is probably more important for the self than for a project, so invest time in that. Learn a method that works with you - remember that a good checking method prevents stress, does not create it.

And what to do with the results? It is key that you implement the changes you noticed immediately. Postpone is not an option... Yes, you can try another method and see what are the results you get through that, and then implement whatever you need as soon as possible.

By checking and implementing changes, you are making sure that success came not out of luck and you can replay that later, or use the same steps in other situations. You can even help others doing that.

Blessings upon blessings

You have probably felt that when you help someone, you feel very good. Some researches have even pointed to helping others as the best way to deal with depression. And, what is that really?

I have learnt that feeling comes from blessings you get from other people and it is something very valuable nowadays. In fact, we have been seeing the recent protest around the world, where people go to the street to say ENOUGH! There is energy in that act. The same we have seen - fewer times - when people peacefully go to the streets to claim a right.

That energy is not only collective. Any parent knows that when their children is very upset with them, they feel bad, they can't work properly and concentration does not come easily. The opposite, which sometimes people don't notice, is also true: when a parent does something extraordinary for their children, they feel really well and that affects their work and concentration. And that is the power of blessings.

In a world with so many things to do, all the time, blessings can help you to move along a little smoother, more contented and more concentrated. That has immediate effect in your own well being and productivity.

Just do good, help someone, anyone, and experience that power coming to you. Use it especially in very tricky situations in your life and you will feel you can't stop living on blessings anymore.

Self-empowerment

Leadership is a very complex thing, you can talk and write about it for years and still there is always something else to talk about. For instance, what about the fact that leaders today have EVERYTHING, in terms of information, knowledge, etc., and still they make so many mistakes...?

Well, I myself wrote a lot in this blog about it and about some of its by-products. One of them is empowerment.

Empowerment could be seen as the first "taste" someone gets of leadership - it is that moment when your mom trusted in you to buy the right brand of butter, or your boss trusted you that big project. It is different than delegation as in the last one, mom and boss will be hovering around all the time and you will be only their arms, their worker...

A fully empowered person has the chance to practice some leadership and test some concepts too in a quite safe environment, as the final responsibility still will go to mom (if the cake is not tasty, nobody will blame you) an boss (if the project is successful or no, he will be known for that). But it is a good beginning for many people. When you are the leader, success or failure always comes to you.

And that responsibility weights... it is heavier than many burdens. And if you have some personal life, then the burden seems to multiply itself.

As a coach, I have to deal with situations like that from other people. As a consultant, I have to tell others what to do, nice suggestions from a bright mind. As a leader, I have to deal with the situations... myself. And I know how heavy they can seem.

So, it is very important to empower the self too and that has two different meanings: you start to trust yourself in dealing with the situations with whatever you have learned or with advice from people you chose to trust. The second meaning is to fill you with power. Both have the same intention: enable the self to face situations, the burden a leader carries, and to start the self on the pathway towards self-leadership.

Thinking about self-empowerment and its impact in my life, I have difficulties to even imagine myself as a non-empowered person. I have known many like that; for them, life is always threatening, people are always wrong and they are always right. It is the life either of an eternal victim or someone who thinks only his ideas are right, and they are not...

I will mention here what I do for myself. I am sure you can add or adapt that for your own life:

• Meditation. First things first; I need some time with myself, I need to understand what is going on in my mind, why I am having thoughts like these... Meditation is also for me a mean to get the eight powers I need (check my post on 8 attitudes) and a way to relate to God, and other people better. When I meditate, I feel the self, filling with energy, I feel my decisions are clearer and I have the power to implement them.
• Study. Leadership is a road where you have to study forever. Same applies to self-leadership and, of course, self-empowerment. What I have in consideration is that my study is useful, it creates an impact in my life an in others' lives and it "tunes" with me. When I was a high-school student, I used to love Math and hate Biology; the last it was because it didn't "tune" with me. Your study has to respond to questions like "Who am I?" and "What am I doing here?". Of course, it has to help you to solve the riddle "What will I do in this situation?".
• Blessings. Yep, that is it, I live on blessings most of the time. Let me explain what I mean: do you know when you do something good to another person? First, there is the soft sensation inside your mind, the pleasure of helping another human being. Second, there is a subtle energy you will feel, probably later and when you are under stress that will help you to overcome it - that is what I mean by "blessings". It empowers the self because it gives us a relief during moments when otherwise you would feel the pressure.

When you are a fully empowered person, the world will change around you as there won't be anything you can't do and your leadership will be a real one, as you would have started with yourself.

The basis of being a leader

I think this is a world which should have an overpopulation of leaders. There are a few reasons for that.

If you consider leadership a competence, its formula is very easy:

• Knowledge. There is plenty of knowledge on leadership, thousands and probably millions of books and an infinite number of articles on this topic, in most languages. There are courses in colleges and universities all over the world too.
• Skills. Apart from that, there are probably millions of consultants or training schools who can help leaders to develop certain skills for a better leadership.
• Attitude. With all courses and people talking about leadership, I feel it is not difficult to develop a leadership attitude, although that, as it is a little subtle, would require more effort.

Of course, that is problem the question of the century: What is leadership? Not in the sense of definition, but it is more like "where does it come from?". A friend of mine says there is no leadership; what we have is leaders (I particularly do not believe in that, but it is an idea...).

Ideas are coming and coming, but still leadership, from many different points of view, is easy and it is getting even easier. But then, why our wold is in such a situation? Because it does not matter what line of thinking you follow, a leader will always emerge at times of crisis. And, well, I guess this is not happening... At least not in a way to really overcome crises...

As a thinker, I feel that what is missing is self-leadership. You can find many articles in this blog itself on that, and thousands more in other places. The basic reason: you can't lead if you are unable to lead yourself!

So, what we have is not really a lack of leadership, or leaders, but a lack of self-leadership and leaders of the self.

Taking the same formula and understanding self-leadership as a competence, we have:

• Wisdom. Knowledge is good, but to be a leader of the self, that knowledge has to transcend and turn into wisdom. It is difficult to teach that in universities, but it is easy to assimilate that from reflection, contemplation or meditation.
• Powers and virtues. Skills are used to put leadership into practice. For self-leadership, you need more than skills. Spiritual power is an energy the being has that helps the self to overcome situations (check my post on 8 attitudes). Virtue is that energy that enable the being to live in the world adapting to all situations that come. Both could be called attitudes.
• Awareness. Leadership of the self is only possible if the leader's awareness is awaken. Most of the time, we are not aware of what is going on around us; it is only when that is interesting or it requires more from the senses, that you become aware of its reality (for instance, the sound of air-conditioning system or the traffic in front of your office). To be a leader of the self, for that you do need to awake the deep hidden awareness of who am I, where am I going to, what am I doing here and many of the traditional questions on self-existence.

So... you see, it is not that difficult!

Is it? I will help you with more and more posts on this topic. I can help you personally with examples of my own life and, most important, I am sure YOU CAN HELP me and others with your own example!

8 attitudes of self-leaderhship

Seeing the news and the confusion of people and government, employees and employers, there is something missing in the air: LEADERSHIP.

How is it possible that in such a world, with so much information and knowledge flowing around, we don't have capable leaders to solve things that are quite simple? One response is the lack of leadership on the self; due to that, the leader cannot manage his or her own emotions and desires, preventing good decisions to take place.

And how to become a leader of the self? Self-leadership can't happen without some thinking and reflection. In fact, it only happens that way.

To lead the self quite often is more difficult than leading a company. At least, in the case of a company, it is easier to see its results, vision, mission, etc. In the case of an individual, that only comes with deep reflection. Sometimes the person does not have any kind of support from other people for self-leadership.

But there is an easy way to develop self-leadership. Reflection will be there too, but it won't be that you will need to contemplate for twenty years to start seeing glimpses of that. It can start right now...

The eight attitudes are based in an Eastern knowledge on how to deal with inner and outer situations. After all, that is what leaders do: they deal with whatever comes to them. The basic and main difference with a manager is that a leader will look into each case with depth, thinking in the long term, while a manager has to solve things right now.

In other words, when you have a problem in front of you, instead of just reacting and solving the problem as it shows, you prepare yourself, you check possible solutions and you implement that which will last longer.

I will give an example: if you find out you have cancer, a common person will just get desperate and will try as best as he or she can to cure the sickness. If the person is a good self-manager, she or he will research a little bit in relation to the best possible solutions. A self-leader will go beyond, understanding what is going on and accepting whatever can happen, either healing or not.

So, what are these eight attitudes?

• Introversion. It is the attitude that helps preparing the self for action.
• Tolerance. It helps to live in a world full of contradictions and differences.
• Adjustment. It enables the self to be flexible and adapt in any environment.
• Discernment. That is a key attitude, as it enables the self to understand what is coming and make his or her own mind in relation to what to do.
• Decision. It is very important to implement whatever the person feels it is right to do.
• Facing. Not hiding, escaping of fighting; facing means to accept and see how to solve tough circumstances.
• Cooperation. Another key attitude, as it helps the individual to cooperate with others and get cooperation from others in tasks that bring benefit to many.
• "Packing-up". Healing and moving on.

Even when you think in terms of leadership, these eight attitudes can cooperate with your leadership. For instance, Tolerance and Adjustment are key attitudes at the time of making a team come out of a crisis. There are however three ways to use these attitudes, and I will give examples related to that.

The first one is that of a manager: she or he uses tolerance, but after the argument. Typically, a person like that (supposing it is a manager) will send some sweets or a soft email trying to get the team together after screaming at some of its members... It is not a bad use, and no doubt, if you have a situation like that, do it. But it is not what a leader would do.

The second and third one are the ways a leader would use these attitudes. Let's understand the PROACTIVE way of using these attitudes: a leader won't wait for the crisis. He or she will prepare the self through contemplation, studies, dialogues with other people, and other means to improve tolerance. In that way, when some problem emerges, the leader naturally will be able to manage it.

In other words, being proactive is to prepare the self in relation to all of these attitudes so that they come naturally when time comes to use them.

It is possible the situation is really critical and the preparation was not enough. Even though that can happen, the leader will make her or his best to not react. He will listen to the situation, or she will look at what is happening and, instead of tolerance, the leader will use another attitude, for instance, making a decision that can help the moment (Guys, I invite all of you to come to my place this evening...).

The ACTIVE way is all about humility and self-esteem. The leader acknowledges his lack of capacity to solve the present situation, but at the same time recognizes there are other capacities within that can help it.

I will talk a bit more on these when I talk about self-empowerment, but I hope with what was written, you can start using these at least in a basic level.

The capacity for resistance II - Tolerance, The Pathway towards Self-Leadership

I would like to give some interesting examples of resistance and tolerance.

Gandhi’s fight

At the beginning, he was considered a crazy idealist man by those who met him. Gandhi used his skills to keep himself above the English domination. His fantastic Salt March was an example of a man’s charisma, who left the easiest option (about three hundred millions Indians with knives running after the British Lords) and who adopted the idea of the ahimsa, that is, non-violence.

We can see in him very clearly the former cycle: his idea was that mental and spiritual freedom was higher, which generated a change in the world perception. For the first time people were talking about the freedom of a whole population without violence. Nowadays, we see international negotiators traveling country to country, many of them successfully attaining peace. But at that time, Gandhi emerged as a deep paradigmatic change agent challenging the biggest empire of the moment.

By establishing the difference of potential, of consciousness between the English conquerors and the people of India, Gandhi got to create a huge resistance towards the empire where the Sun never sets. English weapons and the power of their culture could not overcome that.

A resistance that turns into tolerance: instead of fighting for their rights, Indians started to tolerate defamations and distress. Soldiers beat people without reaction. However, like ants in the jungle, the people did not stop. Tolerance made them even stronger and helped to increase their numbers until that point when the giant kneeled before the weak half-naked slim man who looked more a fakir than a Chief of State.

With tolerance, they got a bigger shift in their consciousness and that generate more resistance and so on. It was not a lineal process; it was not that millions of people joined the Mahatma immediately. No, at every cycle, more people joined the cause of non-violence.

Gandhi influenced many thinkers and known XX Century Western people. The idea of non-violence was the flag of the 60’s and 70’s hippies, and it is still present somehow in modern thinking.

Motherly love is the purest way to love

Mother’s consciousness enables the woman to stand in front of the worse suffering and insults for the sake of her child. In other words, the elevated consciousness increases her resistance in front of any adversity.

However, one of the most painful processes the Western society is going through at present is the breaking down of families. It is calculated that in United States, 40% of families have gone through a separation processes. In Latin-American, this number is increasing: in Colombia, a statistic indicates that marriages last in average a little more than twelve years.

Motherly love is also going through the consequences of a change in the family members’ lifestyle. In this way, resistance to day-to-day problems is less, tolerance decreases, which translates into an even lower level of consciousness. In this way, the cycle keeps on going until the person ends with stress and very exhausted.

In fact, at this moment, all of us – women and men – can be mothers… of the world. Perhaps we are living a unique situation in history in which our perception of humanity is stronger than the religious, cultural or race barriers. And for that we need to think of the self as a mother capable to give love and attention to the lives of our friends, co-workers and even to unknown people, to the whole world.

It might sound idealist, but it is a possibility we have to avoid stress. It is a question of not think too much, but developing this consciousness, either you are a mother or not, either you have children or not. It is a question of think of what you have within to give humankind. Physical charity is not as fundamental as feelings and thoughts.

When I put these examples, I try to show the role of resistance in terms of tolerance. Why don’t we reflect about the level of our own consciousness? I would like to ask three questions that may help you to check if the difference of potential is high enough to face the current. Sometimes, when we respond such questions, we tend to know the “right” answers, as they are a bit obvious. The idea is however to have honest responses even though they are not like the “right” ones.

1. When you wake up, where do your first thoughts go to?
2. During the day, are you more involved in problems or solutions?
3. By night, do you relax and try to forget whatever happened during the day or do you try to dedicate sometime to create, learn and live something new and different?

 (partial extract from the book El Camino hacia el Autoliderazgo)

The capacity for resistance I - Tolerance, The Pathway towards Self-Leadership

To resist is the ability to withstand the effects arising from external and internal causes, without getting hurt. A material is measured by its resistance to electrical and thermal effects. "Burn the resistance" means that the material could not bear the load that came from outside.

For resistance, there is a formula you all have learned at school:

R= V/I

Where V is the voltage and I is the intensity with which the current passes. Talking in terms of human change, the most important is the voltage difference, that is, the difference of potential. It can be the difference in the consciousness, as the current (external and internal processes) cannot be controlled; sometimes they are stronger, sometimes weaker.

An example is a person who allows himself to be influenced by his job. I believe day by day this happens more often; the work should be our server, but instead has become our master.

In this situation, there is no way to prevent work pressures. Obviously I can accept some changes to relief the burden, but there is a moment when these changes don’t work anymore. In fact, any energy I apply in a negative form in my work (complaining, for instance), comes back to me.

If you open a shower and put your hand in front of the water, it deviates and keeps moving. However, the closer you put your hand to the shower, more the water pressure will wet the whole bathroom.

The same happens with work: by trying to put obstacles in front of the pressures, you are increasing it even more until it explodes. Paradoxically, we are increasing the current, instead of diminish it. And, by observing the formula, by increasing current, you are decreasing resistance, that is, the effect is opposite to the one you wanted.

So, what is the solution to increase resistance? According to the formula, the simplest solution is to increase the difference of potential.

A very interesting person I’ve met in Brazil was Dr. Roberto Shinyashiky. He is a transactional analyst, author of several books, one of which is Padres e filhos, companheiros de viagem (Fathers and sons, travel companions). In this book, he describes the experience he had with one of his sons who was born with some deficiencies. Depressed, feeling powerless, Roberto travelled to the United States to work with his son in therapeutic processes. In the extent he went over the therapies, he found out some aspects that helped him to clarify the moment he was living.

A few days later, whilst walking, Roberto faced a very strong wind. It was so strong that did not allow him to mover further. He tried to take some steps but he was forced to go backwards. It was then he found out a unique truth: you cannot go against the inevitable. The wind was inevitable as his son’s illness. From that moment, Roberto changed his consciousness and started to love him unconditionally, without bothering how he was.

Roberto transformed his ideas, he started to accept the reality and found other ways to live with them. Just like the Beauty, he embraced the Beast, that is, his situation and turned it into another beauty. In other words, he increased the difference of potential between his consciousness and the reality.

Unfortunately, I see people nowadays walk with their difference of potential almost in zero, even negative. That is, the reality dominates and determines the pace of life.

When I realize that fighting against the wind does not help anything, I start to love it and I take those moments to do something useful; in that instant, I become stronger than reality.

I want to go back to the example of working. The more I blame it for my present state, I am giving it strength and power and my consciousness is lower than the work pressures. How many of you have seen a more elevated spiritual person to be worried with something that another person who is in a lower state can do? Resistance is stronger when the consciousness is more elevated than reality. A person who is rich internally won’t bother with someone else’s insults; a saint won’t bother with someone else’s defamation; a true leader won’t bother with provocations from certain critics.

The change of perception makes individuals to transform their environment as it increases the person’s resistance in relation to opposite forces. The bigger is the resistance, the bigger will be the tolerance. The more tolerant you are, more open you will be towards the changes, because tolerance is the front door that helps you to meet those changes. It is a cycle:

• The change of perception increases your resistance.
• The resistance increases your tolerance.
• Tolerance helps you in changing your perception.

The moment I realize the work is not guilty, your family is not guilty, the neighbour should not go to jail just because he likes loud music, neither the employee nor the employer are guilty… only then I can start a transformation process. I increase my inner resistance in relation to all the outer “attacks”, it does not matter how painful they can look like.

(partial extract from the book El Camino hacia el Autoliderazgo)

Tolerance, The Pathway towards Self-Leadership

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.”

Tao

How many problems do we have with others? We live in a world of differences. Everyone has their own opinion, their lives and their inner and outer world. We live with people who are different; who do not think as we do, nor they want what we want.

After looking into the self, we have found what we have. Now, it is time to go out, face the reality and to live with it. Tolerance works as a powerful armor that does not allow we get affected by what comes from outside.

For our defense, we can build castles of sand, which are so tall that we can live in them, but they won’t stand to the slightest change of tide. When a strong wave comes, the dream is over.

In the ancient times, fortresses and castles were made in such a way that enemies could not access easily. However, human fortresses are fragile and they go down with any wind. It seems the world  is now at a battlefield where bosses fight against employees, parents against their children, governments against their people; all are against all. If not externally, internally we live in prevention. And it is now, more than ever, when fortresses must be reinforced, but not with sand and rock; with positive qualities.

The quote from Tao, which means literally Pathway, is in itself the basic key for tolerance; to be wise and to have power. Tolerance is not a state of supreme effort in which a person hates whatever he or she has to tolerate, looking at the watch all the time to see when that is going to end. In this world where we live, none wants to be a martyr, all of us want to be happy and we have to accept that.

If we do want to be happy, we can reach the conclusion that the other person who is causing us such a problem is upset with something; his or her own happiness was stolen. But through tolerance, I am able to give them that happiness back. Tolerate does not mean to create wrinkles, but to avoid them, to have a healthier physical and mental life.

(partial extract from the book El Camino hacia el Autoliderazgo)

A personal model of self-leadership

For me, self-leadership is the key to everything in terms of managing your own life.

Along the years, I have been working on several models of self-leadership. And I know this is something that won't end today... But, as it is for today, this is my present model, and its outcomes:

• My self-leadership is based in a model of 8 basic attitudes. I call them "spiritual powers", and I have written a book on that in Spanish and Portuguese.
• I understand self-leadership as the basis of actual leadership. When problems arise, I always look at the leadership that comes from inside.
• Empowerment is key, and self-empowerment is irreplaceable. I get that from 3 main sources: meditation, constant study and blessings (yeah, you heard right!).
• Blessings are the main fruit of self-leadership. It means a positive and powerful energy that comes from other people as a result of your service to others, and it is a complement to self-empowerment.
• Checking. Nothing is perfect, a leader of the self is always checking the self.
• Changing and transforming. To be a leader of the self means to change from your own will and to embrace transformation as a positive step, always.

I will be talking about each item later. Take care.

Do you want to be vegetarian?

I guess after the "crazy cows", swine and bird sicknesses (flues) and the recent "horsemeat scandal", many people have decided to be vegetarian, at least in those countries where these facts took place.

And if that happened, I am sure many of them - most of them - are back eating meat...

Why is that? Vegetarianism is not something you can decide just like that as it takes time and organization, courage and creativity, some good recipes and a very deep desire for changing.

Why? We live in a non-vegetarian society and eating meat is considered healthy, it means you are good financially and it is... well, normal. In fact, just before I myself became vegetarian, a couple of friends have became that and I used to tease them... So, believe me, I know all the reasons why not be a vegetarian.

If a person wants to go through that change, or any strong change like that, need to be deep, very deep. Yes, I do believe the world is on a vegetarian route. I do believe that many pressures will make people realize the value of avoiding meat in their diet, but on a personal level, your change must start from inside, from your own attitude and consciousness.

In my case, the turning point was spirituality. As I have embraced, spirituality implies the practice of vegetarianism because of non-violence and the dharma of the self. Dharma happens to be my reason, my deep reason, as it means the way I really am.

If change just happens because situations are making it happening - like the fear of eating horse meat, for instance - then it will "unhappen" at some point, making you go back to what you were before. But if a change comes from the change of attitude, then you will have an ally inside yourself that will help you to stand when the wave of change tries to go on a different way.

The reason is that if you change your own consciousness, that change becomes part of the self.

Do you want to be vegetarian not as something temporary but out of a deep realization? Work on your awareness, on your own dharma, and that will be more effective.

Improving the health in relationships

Something I've learned from spirituality is that we are complete beings originally, that is, you really do not need anything from anyone. I'm not talking physically, where we need to eat, sleep and keep the body's biological system working. What I mean is the spiritual, emotional and mental points of view - we are complete beings with an inner source of peace, love, happiness, power and purity.

However, many have taught us otherwise. They even told us to look for a companion and business focus went from the cult of personality to promoting teamwork.

Apparently the two ideas are contradictory, but I've learned many years ago that contradiction is something that does not exist in spirituality. The development of the self has a lot to do with the stage and the time the person is living, and the consciousness with which he or she does things.

From a spiritual point of view, relationships with others do not provide anything extra. What they do is ENCOURAGE something we already have internally. For example, through unconditional love, our mothers encouraged the love that we had internally; perhaps, without a loving mother, that love we already have would not emerge, and other behaviors will replace it, like conditional love or selfishness.

That means your interaction with others is essential. It is like certain elements that are in the body, but for its process, the body requires sunlight or some kind of external stimulant.

And it is in this awareness that relationships' health is based. If my consciousness is that I will be supplemented, or I have to give something to someone, at some point I will be let down when that person does not use what I gave her or him, or when I get less than I expected. If my consciousness is that my relationships are all the stimuli I need, I will accept whatever I receive with pleasure and love.

When relationships are healthy, they will teach and enrich. If relationships are healthy, other people will feel it is an honor to be with you, they will feel richer for being there.

If relationships are unhealthy, it's time to find a "vitamin", even an "operation" that heal it. Cutting a relationship is like cutting off an arm; it is the last resort.

I hope that you can always have healthy relationships.

Radical change management

One of the things I appreciate mostly about my choice of profession is to meet incredible people. I do believe deep thinking can make a difference in a world of such a "shallow" thinking...

Jimena, a very good friend, has made a wonderful effort to fulfill her career dream, by becoming a Master Coach. Even though she is not a psychologist, I have found few people who can understand human psyche like her. One example is a model of change management, based on the emotions people feel. It does look like Kübler-Ross model, but I tell you, it came from her own observations on what happens in the reality of change.

After preparing the model, she decided at some point to try it out: during a workshop at a warm place in Colombia, she just jumped in the swimming pool. When I say she just jumped, I mean WITH CLOTHES AND ALL. She motivated the participants to do the same, what they did. All the emotions she compiled in her model happened there.

I think there are two main aspects left out when we deal with change management in the normal consulting stream, and emotions is one of them. It does not matter about which culture we talk, change, and especially radical change, provokes too many emotions.

But there is another one, and I feel if people could focus on that one, the untimely changes that take place from time to time would be able to be managed much better.

To talk about that, let's understand one thing: every time we react against a change, it makes it stronger. So, to face a change and overcome it with success, it is required to not fight against it.

But, if fighting is off the table, what should it be done? The second aspect I want to mention is the awareness of self-leadership, which allows the individual to respond to the changes. The more the person is a leader on himself or herself, the more he or she will be able to get success.

Self-leadership allows the individual to be calm during a storm and to find solution when only problems are visible. It helps the person to manage the emotions in such a way they don't follow my friend's model.

I will talk about the 8 powers of the self at some point, which is my personal model of self-leadership... for this post, let's think of each power as an attitude to deal with changes:

• When the change is too big to be dealt with, introspection is the best policy. Reflecting from inside will help to find solutions faster.
• When the change creates a situation that is temporary, tolerance is the best power to use. However, if the situation is not temporary, then to be flexible is the best thing to do.
• If the change threatens principles, then the individual must stand to it. Not in an aggressive way, but from inside not allowing change to take those principles away.
• Sometimes, change generates situations which require other people to act along with the person. Getting cooperation is a power that comes from a deep self-realization.
• But apart from all of that, decisions tend to be made with no good results. From inside, the person can discern among the many choices life gives her or him, which one will take him to right solution; then, it is just a question of bringing the power to implement that decision into reality.
• And lastly, whenever some process ends, it is vital to withdraw again. This time, to assimilate the lessons and to just let go of any wounds.

If the person develops that level of self-leadership, it will be easier to manage changes, especially radical and untimely ones.

How to work your ITC muscles

I just wanted to buy something quite simple, a presentation remoter. So, I started to research and after almost one hour, I really did not have it clear... Which one is the best for me, really? I had to use lots of my, well, ITC muscles to do that one task...

ITC has grown and expand in a way that created a fractal map of possibilities for any person to use it in a way both, productive and for leisure. In fact, even when you do make a good purchase and you are satisfied with that, something will bother you... perhaps a friend who got a better model or the fact you found out something that is not working.

I personally feel challenged when I am faced with any decision related to technology. I was grown up learning it and that was the first part of my professional life. Even now, I still work on software a little bit, trying to be up-to-dated to whatever is happening out there, trying to have an opinion about what is better and what is worse.

What to do? There are a few things I do myself especially when I have to make a decision on which gizmo to purchase:

• If you are not an expert in technology, use Google abundantly. Don't forget to set the dates filter, otherwise sometimes very old information comes first.
• To look for something, try to put in words very clearly what you really want or need. Check with friends who are in the IT area. Forums are a good source of information too.
• Be suspicious of comments on equipment that are praising it too much - most of the technology is flawed by nature. As someone said, the only certain thing about any piece of technology is that there will be a defect. Good comments highlight the good and bad side.
• If you can find someone who has whatever you want to buy, ask them to let you take a look. Touch. Type in. Listen. It will definitely help you.
• In relation to investment, if it is not something you really need (but want) and if you are really not sure about it go for the cheapest thing. Ok, the second cheapest thing. Reason: you will probably have to change it for something else after one or two years...

Good luck with your own ITC muscles!

Can vegetarianism save the world?

From time to time, opposites don't attract each other. Out of the many possible styles, choices or human realities, being vegetarian and non-vegetarian has provoked massacres along history.

But time has changed and cultures too. Everyone is a little more tolerant nowadays and strict vegetarians are used to eat along with non-vegetarians and non-vegetarians accept easily their "weird" relatives or friends who seem to eat only lettuce. I personally remember that unforgettable moment when my mother prepared a GIGANTIC palmetto salad only for me...

So, perhaps now it is the time someone impartial can analyze and understand the impact of being vegetarian in the world, because I do feel a difference can be made there by choosing this lifestyle.

There is no doubt for me that to be vegetarian is healthier and cheaper, but that is my point of view. And with news of people eating horsemeat - after all, there is not that much cows anyway - I think some are really tempted to try. Most people would love to be vegetarian if it was easier to find places who cook that food well, or if they themselves know how to cook well - after all, we can't eat that much lettuce, right?

There is also the question of ethics and as science evolves to enable us know that animals also think and feel (old news for pets' owners), there is a final conclusion: what I am eating... oh, my God, it was thinking being!!!!!!

But what will really change people's minds and at least put the vegetarian choice as something more than an eccentricity is the news that vegetarianism can impact the world. Economy. Climate change. Life.

When that choice is there and it is clear that it is a good and powerful one, people can chose it in a more conscious way.

And that in itself is a big step for changing the world.

The way to travel and learn

There are very few exciting experiences like travelling. Since immemorial times, people have been reporting their trips around the world and Marco Polo was just one of them.

There are now TV channels dedicated to it and there are people who earned their income doing exactly that: travelling!

But travel in itself is really not pleasant. Perhaps for the 1% who are so rich and who can travel only first class, or private jets. Otherwise travelling is not good, and it can get worse and worse.

As I write this I am following up the strike in a very important airline - in fact, I just traveled using their services less than two months ago - and how thousands of flights couldn't take off. And let's not talk about security issues, weather issues and the Murphy Law for travelers: "When you want to move around and be social, your companions in travelling will be as closer to zombies as you can get...".

So, I always thought: what is behind travelling, really?

From my perspective, I think the biggest benefit I have received all this time through the art of travelling was to learn more and faster. It is not only what you see, listen to or even what they tell you, but just the fact you are out of your own environment makes you totally open to add something different to your perception.

It also makes you to appreciate certain aspects of yourself you wouldn't even notice if you are not in this different and strange place. You learn how much tolerance you have or how sensitive you are towards other people's needs better in a trip than going to your work, or talking to your kids.

It also opens your minds for the unlimited possibilities of human beings. I have seen buildings, food, juices, clothes, color skin, I have tasted things I would never could without travelling, and I have heard sounds and music that were unique. And that showed me human greatness in its maximum form.

It is like the place we live is just a small box. Out there, we have infinite possibilities and perhaps the answer to our questions. Questions those in our box could not answer.

Living in a multicultural world

Culture defines most of our traits: what we like and what we don't like, what is good and what is bad, even what is right and what is wrong. What happens then when people from different backgrounds get together for creating a family, a project or living in the same neighborhood?

Clash! Conflict, at one level or another. To be honest, tolerance is not natural.

Most people I know who live in a different cultural context long to "go back home", a place where most of the people, if not all, share a similar religion, thought, like similar songs and eat similar food.

But most people I know in that situation are incapable to go back home, because even their home has become multicultural.

My personal experience living in that context is that this is a wonderful and unique learning experience. But, to prevent much suffering, there are a few things you can do:

• Understand if that is a permanent state or just a temporary one. If it is permanent, then go on reading the suggestions here; if it is temporary, just enjoy the moment, learn as much as possible and share as much as possible!
• See others' culture from their own point of view. Appreciate as much as possible their struggle to reach to this point in time and respect deeply the differences with your own perspective.
• Compromise - some of your cultural traits are easily to leave aside, at least when you are in this multicultural environment. In relation to other traits, which have become principles along the time and so you cannot sacrifice them, make agreements with the people around you, so they understand what you are doing and respect that, appreciating your culture.
• AVOID JOKES in relation to others' cultural habits.
• If someone jokes in relation to your cultural habits, smile and be flexible about that; it that hurt, approach the person later, when you are alone, and explain it.
• When there are things you are doing, or others are doing, which are turning into difficult situations, look for a mediator who is impartial, preferably someone who understands all the sides of the conflict.
• If it is still hurting - someone's comment, jokes around, the way people treat you - then, it is better to leave that environment. Look for a place where you feel safe, do a deep internal check in and learn whatever you have to learn, let go whatever you have to let go.

Hope that is helpful in this multicultural age!

The four functions we all have to perform

About 20 years ago, I had the opportunity to write and publish a book. It is still my only published material, in Spanish (El Camino hacia el Autoliderazgo) and Portuguese (Vencendo Limites).

Apart from the amazing experience of writing a book, what I enjoyed mostly was the possibility of understanding my life and processing whatever I have got in all these years. It was the chance I was wanted to really comprehend myself, my environment and the people linked to me.

Out of that came the idea of the four functions. In my mind, every person has four functions in life to be fulfilled and the perfect balance is when all that happens fully. Imbalance comes when I focus too much in one of the functions and avoid, or I am incapable of performing the remaining ones.

A week ago, I've posted a practical application for that, but here is the theory behind it:

• Production. This is the function we value more than any other. We are measured and valued by our productivity in life, which can be at work or by being a good mother. It is using this function that we measure our success in life and although it is really an important one, it is not the only one.
• Processing. After the production, it is good to make time for processing that. That means reflect, contemplate or meditate upon whatever has happened. Perhaps it is about your meeting with your doctor or your new chosen spiritual path. Processing helps people to identify patterns and to extract the best from their experiences. It also helps when bad things happen, enabling the individual to put a full stop to the situation and move on.
• Awareness Expansion. Then it comes this incredible talent we all have. It is basically to experience what we did not experience. Yes, that is it! For instance, through processing you could realize that if you shout at your boss, he can stop helping you in your tasks. But, what would be the best way to treat him? Using reflection, contemplation or meditation, you make your awareness to expand and you realize how much tolerance you have - and that is exactly what your boss needs at this point!
• Sharing. It is the golden moment, when you are able to transform your production, which is normally identified as the life people acknowledge you live, into something useful for others. Sharing is a smile or hug, words of wisdom and advises. Sometimes, sharing means to let others be; other times, it means to correct them. No matter what, it comes from inside, as a direct fruit of an awareness that was expanded.

I find this a very powerful idea as it makes even the most ordinary moments, extraordinary.

It changes your life and makes you live a life that is beyond whatever you produce.

Why can't you separate house from work?

Can you remember your daddy? Most daddies I know now, who are friends of mine, they made their best effort to leave job behind them and just enjoy the freshness of an everyday growing family. However, a couple of months ago, one of them was telling me about a "torture" performed by his wife: when she arrives home, she tells him everything that happened at her job. EVERYTHING. Jokingly, he said it was like she was taking 8 hours to tell him what she went through her own 8 hours...

Well... is it really possible to leave aside job and just go and be a good dad or mummy, husband or wife? Or is it better to share with a partner or children what is going on at their job?

I have to tell you... No, you really can't leave aside your job, but you can do something...

We are whole people, with several areas to work about. We have our careers, hobbies, friends, families, our spiritual path, health concerns, and a big etc... What we do normally is focus and refocus; sometimes the refocus is too intense, and we end leaving something away for good, or forgetting something.

One proof of that is history: for centuries, people used to live at the same place they used to work, along with everything they used to. If the person was rich, even his or her place of devotion and health would be the same...

By trying to split ourselves in pieces, we get into a subtle form of stress, which takes up the form of boredom, dissatisfaction or the sense of being in a pressure cooker. In fact, traditionally family and friends were a big source of comfort when something went wrong at the work, and it is still there for those who are at school or when health is an issue.

But, to do what my friend's wife does... that is really torture!

A suggestion: work on the areas of your life through four different perspectives. I will be talking about that in my next post, but for now...

1. When you are engaged into something, like your work, just do it. Be flexible if some other area (your kids for instance) requested your attention, but otherwise, just be the winner you are.
2. After finishing something as a day at your job, take a short time for processing it. Instead of commuting or drink with some friends, sit down for a while and talk to yourself, understand what happened.
3. Look for something you have learnt that day, perhaps a good lesson of humility or a realization on how good you are at what you do. Enjoy that feeling.
4. Share the lesson, realization and whatever you acquired as an outcome of your day.

In that way, you will join the pieces of your life together, you will avoid boredom and the pressure. At the same time, other areas will be affected positively by that.

Try it yourself!

How to work BETTER, or how to be a BETTER person working?

What do you value more: to work better, or to be a better person working?

There's no doubt we need people who work better and better. At a time of crisis as it is the present one, we need people who are able to produce more with less or who can break records in sales. Most leaders I know are very concerned about that factor.

Unfortunately, not all these people are really good, in terms of their attitude or even ethics. Under the pressure of productivity, they can cheat or make false promises to their customers. Eventually, some of them are caught and they have to re-evaluate their own behaviors; others become billionaires.

What about putting ethics and attitude as a priority? It does not work necessarily to increase productivity. I remember that piece of Senge's book, where a company decides that Honesty was good enough to be their value. According to the book, a new salesman questioned that by simply putting a probable situation: if a customer wants to buy something we don't have, should we tell them that? Initially  others acted as that was a silly question: of course, you don't tell that to a client. But then the leader in charge was clear that if they put Honesty as one of their values, that is one of the things they will have to tell their customers. After a heated discussion, they finally reached to a compromise and the company did experience losses for sometime, but after that, its sales went up and up. Naturally, if their company did not have a product, possibly others didn't; customers slowly realized they were telling the truth and they started to value that.

Possibly, this is what will happen:

1. If a person starts to focus more on the self, it is possible that at the beginning his or her productivity will decrease. That will happen because of some decisions - not working after such an hour - or new courses to help them in their decision - a meditation course which proposes moments of silence during the day.
2. During that time, it is important the person talks a lot with her or his co-workers, spouses and friends in general. That means, whatever the person is doing should be very clear in his/her mind.
3. After sometime, productivity should start to increase. That will come mainly from some changes in the behaviour - punctuality, for instance - or a better attitude - helping increasing sales.
4. What if productivity is not improving? Possibly, the main answer is that the person is in the wrong place. A career research will be excellent to understand which position will be better served by a person like her, or him.

The main point here is that there is no better reward than the feeling of inner success, but its outcome should be an external success too.

So, what do you value more: to work better, or to be a better person working?