The capacity for resistance I - Tolerance, The Pathway towards Self-Leadership

To resist is the ability to withstand the effects arising from external and internal causes, without getting hurt. A material is measured by its resistance to electrical and thermal effects. "Burn the resistance" means that the material could not bear the load that came from outside.

For resistance, there is a formula you all have learned at school:

R= V/I

Where V is the voltage and I is the intensity with which the current passes. Talking in terms of human change, the most important is the voltage difference, that is, the difference of potential. It can be the difference in the consciousness, as the current (external and internal processes) cannot be controlled; sometimes they are stronger, sometimes weaker.

An example is a person who allows himself to be influenced by his job. I believe day by day this happens more often; the work should be our server, but instead has become our master.

In this situation, there is no way to prevent work pressures. Obviously I can accept some changes to relief the burden, but there is a moment when these changes don’t work anymore. In fact, any energy I apply in a negative form in my work (complaining, for instance), comes back to me.

If you open a shower and put your hand in front of the water, it deviates and keeps moving. However, the closer you put your hand to the shower, more the water pressure will wet the whole bathroom.

The same happens with work: by trying to put obstacles in front of the pressures, you are increasing it even more until it explodes. Paradoxically, we are increasing the current, instead of diminish it. And, by observing the formula, by increasing current, you are decreasing resistance, that is, the effect is opposite to the one you wanted.

So, what is the solution to increase resistance? According to the formula, the simplest solution is to increase the difference of potential.

A very interesting person I’ve met in Brazil was Dr. Roberto Shinyashiky. He is a transactional analyst, author of several books, one of which is Padres e filhos, companheiros de viagem (Fathers and sons, travel companions). In this book, he describes the experience he had with one of his sons who was born with some deficiencies. Depressed, feeling powerless, Roberto travelled to the United States to work with his son in therapeutic processes. In the extent he went over the therapies, he found out some aspects that helped him to clarify the moment he was living.

A few days later, whilst walking, Roberto faced a very strong wind. It was so strong that did not allow him to mover further. He tried to take some steps but he was forced to go backwards. It was then he found out a unique truth: you cannot go against the inevitable. The wind was inevitable as his son’s illness. From that moment, Roberto changed his consciousness and started to love him unconditionally, without bothering how he was.

Roberto transformed his ideas, he started to accept the reality and found other ways to live with them. Just like the Beauty, he embraced the Beast, that is, his situation and turned it into another beauty. In other words, he increased the difference of potential between his consciousness and the reality.

Unfortunately, I see people nowadays walk with their difference of potential almost in zero, even negative. That is, the reality dominates and determines the pace of life.

When I realize that fighting against the wind does not help anything, I start to love it and I take those moments to do something useful; in that instant, I become stronger than reality.

I want to go back to the example of working. The more I blame it for my present state, I am giving it strength and power and my consciousness is lower than the work pressures. How many of you have seen a more elevated spiritual person to be worried with something that another person who is in a lower state can do? Resistance is stronger when the consciousness is more elevated than reality. A person who is rich internally won’t bother with someone else’s insults; a saint won’t bother with someone else’s defamation; a true leader won’t bother with provocations from certain critics.

The change of perception makes individuals to transform their environment as it increases the person’s resistance in relation to opposite forces. The bigger is the resistance, the bigger will be the tolerance. The more tolerant you are, more open you will be towards the changes, because tolerance is the front door that helps you to meet those changes. It is a cycle:

• The change of perception increases your resistance.
• The resistance increases your tolerance.
• Tolerance helps you in changing your perception.

The moment I realize the work is not guilty, your family is not guilty, the neighbour should not go to jail just because he likes loud music, neither the employee nor the employer are guilty… only then I can start a transformation process. I increase my inner resistance in relation to all the outer “attacks”, it does not matter how painful they can look like.

(partial extract from the book El Camino hacia el Autoliderazgo)