The art of dealing with others (The 16 celestial arts)

One issue that is increasing in the world is that many reports on researches have been published about the increasing number of people living by themselves even in countries with a more family, group or team-driven mentality, like Colombia and India.

And it is not only a question of living: how many one-passenger cars do you see every day? How many people chose to work by themselves, or are seen jogging or enjoying life alone?

This affects economy and society in ways that we are just starting to understand. In fact, there is nothing bad about being alone, but what is the reason? Is it a choice out of reflection or it is the result of not being able to cope with others?

If the second question is more realistic, then it is necessary to develop the skill of dealing with other people. We are social people - at some point or another, we will need each other, perhaps sooner than later.

As it is a skill, or an art, we can learn that. We can learn that wonderful art our ancestors had to learn when they had to live and work with people who were not family, part of their own race or religion. We can learn the necessary art of accepting and appreciating each other as we are.

It does not mean that everyone has to be friend to each other. With some people definitely your relationship will be casual, only a small connection. But it has to come from a personal choice rather of incapacity to deal with others.

Here are some points to bear in mind whilst developing this skill:

• Be patient. Whatever you do to help relationship with another person will bear fruit in time. But not necessarily right now. Just don't lose hope, don't stop watering the seeds of good deeds, wishes or words.
• Look for the common ground. We can always find something we have in common with other people. That is the beginning of the bridge between you and others.
• Less social network, more social presence. At least understand that people, real people, are crucial for our own growth as humans. And go for it, talk to them, meet them and enjoy their way of being.
• Enjoy the opposites. Contrary to nature, we always to try and look for similar people. Try to talk to someone who like what you dislike; just enjoy a refreshing point of view, something you never thought before. Enjoy it, instead of raging about it.
• Discriminate. In the good sense, learn who can be your friends and who can't be that. If someone can't be your friend but you have to live with them, reflect on it - ask "why?". If someone is not your friend, but you have to work with them, make agreements and develop the skill of dialogue.

If you do that, you will realize the greatness other people have. And you will end enjoying dealing with others.