The lost key and what you need in order to find it

Many years ago, I heard this story and it touched me.

One day, John was walking back home when he saw his neighbor, Peter, behaving very strangely; he was crawling on the floor, near his house. Even though they were not friends, but out of a community sense, John approached Peter, greeted him and asked what the problem was.

‘I lost my key… I just dropped it somewhere and I can’t find it!’

John decided to help him and, knees on the floor, started to look for it. After some time, however he couldn’t find anything so he asked another question:

‘I can’t find it either… Do you remember where you dropped it?’

‘Yes! I went to my backyard to see something there and I let it fall.’

‘Backyard?’ John looked at Peter with his back straight, but with the knees still on the sidewalk. ‘So, why are you looking for it here?’

‘Well, it is so dark there…’

John got very angry as he thought it was a prank. He got up and went to his home, leaving Peter crawling on the sidewalk.

I asked myself: where is my key, really? And to be honest, I think I have lost many keys along the years.

It is not uncommon people try to avoid the inevitable – acceptance of mistakes and weakness, problems in relationships, stress, bad health – by sticking to their comfort zone. But, of course, you can’t find a key where you did not lose it which creates confusion and a kind of eternal quest.

Now, let’s retell the same story with a different approach.

One day, Peter arrived late at his house. He took out his key and he was about to enter the house, when he remembered he needed to do something in the backyard.

When he went there, it was too dark… ‘I do need to fix this bulb.’ he thought to himself. Carefully, he did what he went there to do and he was about to go toward the front door when he tripped and fall. After getting up, Peter went fast to the front door, determined to fix the bulb.

But tragedy does not come alone; when he was about to open his door, he realized he lost his key.

Because it was dark there, he rummaged around to see if there was anything he could use to illuminate the backyard, when he heard someone coming; it was John, who greeted his neighbor.

Peter called for him and explained his situation.

‘You know what, don’t worry, I will get a lantern and we both go and look for it together.’

Less than 5 minutes later, Peter was able to enter at his house. He took leave from John and at last he went to fix the backyard bulb.

As you can see, the two tales create a total different outcome. What is the difference between them?

The first thing is self-realization. In the second telling, the neighbor realized he lost something important and tried to fix that, instead of going to his comfort zone and pretending he could fix it from there. Even though it is true the front of the house where the street light gave a sensation of security, it didn’t help him to find the key. One of the main results was that he was able to get cooperation from an outsider to solve the whole situation. His attitude was proactive instead of reactive.

The second thing is a sense of self-empowerment. You can read the first tale as a person who is not empowered enough to solve his own problems whilst in the second version, he is the owner of the house and he is the one who has lost the key because a bulb was not working. By taking over that responsibility, he is able to think straight and go for help.

What is that lost key you can now go and claim again, by looking for it in the right place, even though it is a little dark?

Silence and power in modern society

I was trying to do a research of silence in the modern world, but I think I will share my own experience of silence, what silence REALLY is and how it works.

My personal belief is that silence is what is missing in the world. I am not talking about shut up silence, but the silence that comes from being fulfilled, which helps to feel an inner satisfaction. More than a lack of words, it is the state when words are not enough or not necessary to express the feelings.

It is missing because the present society is very noisy and specifically the noise of the social networks makes it unbearable for anyone to make a real decision, to set proper goals or just enjoy themselves, as there is always another person’s suggestion, opinion and influence.

When I get into silence, naturally I am able to prevail over all that influence and make my own decisions, and this is by far the biggest benefit of silence in the present environment we live.

So, everyday I experience silence in two different ways, and sometimes, when it is needed, I do another exercise:

• I meditate and I let that silence quieten my mind, my emotions and my intellect, giving them time and space to understand reality and help me dealing with it.
• Particularly during early morning, I prefer to not talk. I enjoy those experiences of silence as they clear my mind and my purpose towards the day.
• From time to time, I face crisis; silence helps me to charge the self and overcome the challenges.

I invite you to join me in this experience of silence…

¿Am I alone or lonely?

A few years ago, my sister married a Colombian and moved to this country, where I live. My mother then found herself literally alone... At the beginning, I felt anxiety in her and maybe she was a little scared, but what she did was to use her bright and natural creativity, by creating systems that gave her a sense of security, for example, with a hairdresser, organized to call her daily...

Some may argue that loneliness has become an epidemic[1]. And if we think about it, about 30 years ago it was difficult to find someone who lived alone; nowadays, it's too easy.

Nothing against it; actually, I like to live alone - well, almost alone, since I live in a small community, but I have a separate space. OK, the issue here is not that; the theme is the growing loneliness.

We may not be able to prevent someone from being alone, but we can avoid the experience of loneliness, and the first thing, as my mother found out, is to connect with the community.

If you reflect for a moment, you will perceive that there is an invisible network that unites all the people around you, generating a beautiful network of protection and care; this is the community.

My first conscious experience of really being alone was in Santiago, Chile. I was new to that country and I still didn't feel being part of a community, something that was later generated. So when Christmas came and I had no one to share... I had never really given much value to this holiday, but that day, yes, I realized that I really wanted to be with other people. So I reflected a while, look inside me and used creativity, one of my specialties. I called some people who were in contact with the organization I was coordinating and we planned a lunch together. I was never a good cook, but that day everything went amazing; not only was the food delicious, about 7 or 8 people came and I experienced a real Christmas.

The other way to overcome that feeling of loneliness - and if it is an epidemic, it is likely to affect you soon - is to look inside, find your own specialties and make use of them.

We will not always have a community and the reasons are diverse, in such a complex society, but we will always have our own inner wealth. In making use of this treasure, we will naturally experience satisfaction and change our perspective not being lonely even though I am alone.

Then, we will deliver these specialties to the world and the world will return us company of some kind.

I don't know if it's the cure to loneliness, but this is my humble suggestion: connect more with your community and look inside yourself, finding specialties that you can give to the world.

---

[1] Check these articles on lonelines as an epidemic in relation to:

Global Youth: https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2019/10/1-in-3-young-adults-are-lonely-and-it-affects-their-mental-health/

United States: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/envy/201902/loneliness-new-epidemic-in-the-usa

Coping with loss

As humans we tend to accumulate and stock things. Well, not only humans… go and check your pet’s place, probably you will find things there too!

But as humans, there is something extra – we feel the loss. And we feel it pretty hard, sometimes for years. Besides, the thing we accumulate is often another person…

Coping with loss is more frequent than it should be and we are normally bad in doing that. I am saying here should be not much because we shouldn’t lose things or relationships – we will lose, that is for sure; but we shouldn’t feel it that bad.

An ad I saw a few years ago showed two young girls being taken to a foster home. It was an emergency situation and they were taken in the middle of the night in their pajamas and nothing else. The youngest struggled the most; part of her sleeping ritual was to hug her stuffed toy and that night, she could not sleep without it. Next day, the family took her to a place where she easily and happily got a new toy, just like the one she had!

Not a Toy Story happy end I know, but it shows people often lose something, then they go over the natural mourning and just move on with life, even when it is such an emotional item. The key point here is the emotional part: the kid was able to move beyond her grief because the foster family was supporting her.

So, there is an easy way to cope the loss of objects: identify the emotional support it was giving you and find it at some other place. Done!

Now, what about people? The short video was not long enough to show the consequences of the children’s parents’ absence in their lives and how they were able to cope with that type of loss.

A friend of mine, Dr. Roger Cole, once spoke in an interview after a tragic accident in Bogota that we need to have a time for mourning. That is the first step; we have to accept the loss in our hearts and understand they will never come back.

After that, it is good to create a memorial for those people in heart and mind, reminding you the great gift they were by being present in your life. It will help you to wrap up that relationship, forgive whatever has to be forgiven, keep whatever has to be kept and just say goodbye.

The last part that helps to cope with losses when referred to people is to visit the memorial from time to time, not out of a sense of nostalgia, but to learn, to smile and laugh again with those people, whose memories live in you.

Hope you can try it next time a person walks away from your life. Take care!

How to open the door of your learning?

Being an autodidact at some point was something as strange as the word itself; there has always been, but not many.

One of the reasons is that the Western teaching system has highly valued the role of the teacher, professor or guru and in some places or environments, it feels like there is no way to learn something without someone else teaching you.

Of course it is valuable to have a teacher, but today, in such a complex society and with so many learning needs, there are not enough teachers and YouTube, books, countless websites as well as many other platforms have become teachers in an unofficial way, training us to deal with new laws or how to plant carrots at home...

However, it doesn't matter if there is a teacher literally in front of you, a young girl with dyed hair talking on your computer screen or a fascinating book, the key to learning will always be YOU.

You and your mental openness, your thirst for knowledge, your desire to learn even while making mistakes... If we could use an analogy, we would say that learning is opening a door and no matter how splendid this methodology is or how necessary the subject is, that knowledge will not get in if the door is closed.

And although there isn't really a method that teaches you to open it, there are three elements that I think will help you learn anything:

• To give importance to the topic by learning, without exaggerating or minimizing.
• To be very humble, patient and determined since many of today's learning topics are updates of what you already know or not all methodologies give results in the time you expect.
• Practice a lot what you learned.

                                                                                                                                  

Let's look at the following scenario: you want to learn a new language.

• What will you learn it for? This question will open the perspective of importance, because if there is not really a strong or necessary reason, it will be difficult for you to separate the time and energy to learn. Another question you can ask is: Really, how long can you live well without knowing this?
• Second, be open to what they will teach you. In this case, it is fundamental that the apprentice gives his teacher time, because not all methodologies come out teaching you what you want immediately. If you want to confirm the validity of the methodology, talk to other students or people you know who are similar to you and reconfirm.
• Finally, find ways to practice. You can even go somewhere to volunteer and teach children this language you are learning. To teach always helps to strengthen what has been learned.

More than a birthday

More than a birthday, January 12^th reminds me of the commitment to live, something that does not come from an obligation, but rather from a deep gratitude.

After all, there are not many people who reach 55 years of age having worked on their inner spiritual life for 37 years, that is, more than two thirds of my life. If we add, it is as if I have lived 92 years, fully and fruitfully, taking advantage of the well of wisdom that I found in my way.

I have been to a special university that taught me not to prioritize the physical, material and obvious; I learned to give more importance to the unseen, that which is subtle and profound. Thus I seek to implement these teachings and live every day, every minute and every step I take, knowing that there will always be success even in when I stumble.

And I take many steps, walking through a city, a country and a planet that welcomed me. I take many steps, so many that I physically moved away from the city and country where I was born; although not quite, because it is still there in the form of marks in my heart, in my ear so accustomed to that language that is like music and the people that impacted me, educated me and made me progress, sometimes as gently as a hummingbird that shows the way to the traveler, or as strong as the elephant that gives you no options.

It is for these and many more reasons that I would like to invite you now to celebrate my birthday. First of all, I want a gift from you ... I want your positive thoughts and feelings; I want you to forgive me for any mistake I made and give me other opportunities.

I also want to give you a gift ... I want you to think about your commitment to live for a moment and what this implies ... I would like you to experience gratitude in your heart, even if there is not much to be appreciated in appearances.

And I give you the key to success: look in your heart for inspiration, talk with your head about those wonderful ideas, talk with the soul you are about changing your journey in life and living these ideas. If it's okay for you, have a long dialogue with the Supreme Being about what you observe.

From this position and with this energy, transform those thoughts, which are as soft as butterflies into a building as strong and lasting as a temple.

A big hug, from my heart...

Video: https://youtu.be/abY8ceVuIgc

Is it a new year already?

Old news – terrifying old news – are taking over the world and #ThirdWorldWar is trending.

Actors change, play looks the same… not too new, right?

But there is a big novelty that we as humans can experience, particularly if things are still the same: a change of attitude that makes me see life with different glasses.

How to change it? Let’s focus first on the positive side of life.

Although there is always something constructive in every scene of life, sometimes the good gets hidden behind a wall of negativity.

By using your memory to remember the fantastic things that have happened to you, you will experience it as if this would be happening right now. By the way, don’t underappreciate hope – it will show you the way out of the fog of hopelessness.

Another change you can do is to generate positive emotions like forgiveness and gratitude. They work as if you would be taking a fresh shower during a really hot day, calming your being, making you smile and showing you different ways to handle whatever is happening.

Last, I would strongly recommend meditation, as it works on two different levels. On one hand, it enables you to move beyond the present circumstances and focus on your thoughts instead of the sometimes hard reality. On the other hand, it helps you to realize your own power, which empowers you to face reality.