Christmas 4 – generating an impact

A day, a night, there was a dream.

Standing on a hill, by looking back, there was something interesting: a dry Christmas tree... For a moment, past Christmases came to the mind with his joy and energy, with children and the elderly, with gifts and promises of gifts. A smile emerged, in this strange dream, and the thought about how all these moments would have impacted a life. There was a memory of a strange gift that appeared on a desk, which made looking at co-workers differently...

On this hill, looking around there was this cute Christmas tree. Without wanting or thinking, the tree came closer. On each branch, there was a photo and it was a person present in life, but the photos had different shades: in very light tones, beloved people; in dark tones, people with whom there were serious problems, and in gray, photos of estranged people for a long time... Under the tree, some gifts were waiting to be opened and the thought was about how this would impact life in the long run. In present times, gifts are usually disposable, temporary, but... But the love present in each one... In the dream, the love of each gift appeared like a soft cloud sparkling sweetly. Yes, this would stay forever.

Then, looking forward: a large seed was waiting on the ground. It looked like an egg and it was easy to guess that it was the future Christmas. The future years of life. It wasn't green, it wasn't that pretty; It wasn't gray or ugly either. Just this seed on the ground, which touched the heart more than the other Christmas trees, because there was the understanding future was ugly or beautiful. Future was still being created. At this very moment.

This Christmas will have a phenomenal impact on the future Christmases we will live.

Again, a smile appeared on face and soon, to wake up, to live the present Christmas and to generate the future Christmas.

And you, how much will your present life impact your future Christmas?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Christmas 3 – celebrating with others

When it's Christmas, she likes to celebrate with the people from her office. TWO PARTIES! One with the morning shift, the other with the night shift. She loves it... but...

When it's Christmas, this sweet couple loves to be with their families. TWO FAMILIES! Hers is funny; his is serious; a very interesting balance. They really like it… but…

When it's Christmas, they cook for the whole neighborhood. There are many very old people, some families where the parents work too much and their food comes with a very special energy for everyone. This family really likes to cook for everyone... but...

When it's Christmas, the doctor and his wife, a teacher, go to remote places, bringing gifts that no one else wants. Both experience extraordinary happiness... but...

They celebrate a lot with others, but something is missing. Something in their life, so when they finish their activities…

They meditate a bit...

They pray…

Read something that lifts their spirit...

Together they watch a movie that could change their lives...

And they sleep with a sweet smile, the smile of those who REALLY celebrated Christmas.

Christmas 2 – celebrating with your own self

What would happen if you are somewhere during Christmas and you don’t have anybody else with whom to celebrate?

It happened to me: many years ago, I’ve moved to live in Santiago, Chile, and when Christmas came, I was all by myself.

OK, not exactly alone, because I was working and I had co-workers, but nobody I could call friend or family and that is with whom I would celebrate such an important festival. Besides, to be very sincere, I have never given importance to Christmas until that year.

When I felt a bit of loneliness as Christmas time was coming closer, I decided to do something about it: I called a few people I gave a meditation course and I asked them if they would like to come.

Although they were not my friends, there was a good feeling in relation to them and about 8 people accepted. It was wonderful: the energy, the conversations, the food! I think that was the best pie I have ever cooked!

I dedicated a long time and energy preparing the program, including the lunch, for all of us. That time and energy was useful and I saw the results when Christmas eve came, for I was feeling totally satisfied, even though physically I was at my place, alone.

It is a realization that it was not the company of other people that was important as much as it was, and still is, the company of my own self.

Don’t forget yourself amidst all parties and celebrations…

Christmas 1 – the meaning is…

“Party!”

“Food!”

“Gifts!”

The apparent argument between the three kids was in relation to an essay asked by their teacher on a very simple subject:

The meaning of Christmas is…

For Jessica, there was not a best party as the ones she held for Christmas, with her family and friends all together. But for Oscar, food was the reason he used to go to parties; the 15-year-old boy loved his grandma’s cooking.

Joey had shinning eyes when he talked about the gifts he received for last Christmas – all very expensive. For this year, he was expecting to receive a surprise…

While walking, they met their classmate, Omar, who was with his little siblings. They all knew his family’s financial situation was not the best, but Jessica couldn’t refrain to ask him what he thought of Christmas.

He looked at them very surprised with the question, although he had to do the same essay as them, but he responded very firmly, and a little upset: “Work.” And he left.

For some reason, the three stopped talking and they walked slower than before to their houses. The first one to take leave from them was Jessica who could only think of Omar, working during this time, since he did not have both parents. She liked drawing and she did a beautiful portrait of Omar with both parents and siblings, playing very gladly with a Christmas tree at the background.

Then it was time for Oscar to take leave; as always, they were waiting for him with a big lunch, but for some reason, he couldn’t eat. After lunch was over, he went to his mother and asked if he could take food to someone he knew…

Joey did not greet any of his parents, since he entered his house through his secret door (he jumped his bedroom window)! He opened his wardrobe in a very fast way, got lots of things and start to prepare boxes. His parents came at that moment and after learning what he was doing, they decided to help him and do the same in their own bedrooms. It took them some time and eventually they filled their car with many boxes. And they left.

The first to arrive was Oscar who rang the bell. Omar’s mother opened the door with an inquisitive but kind face. By his side, Oscar’s mother was carrying a trolley full of containers and before his son said anything she mumbled about some left-over and if she would like to have those. Without waiting for an answer, she took the woman’s hand and both went to their kitchen, leaving Omar alone with Oscar.

“Tha…” before Omar could finish the phrase, a big car parked just in front of his house. Joey and his parents get off it and started unloading a few boxes.

“Hey, Omar, Oscar, come and help. These are things that I am sure will be very useful.”

By now, Omar’s mother was at the door, extremely surprised and a little embarrassed. After an apologetic comment, Joey’s father commented on we are neighbors, don’t worry. And he filled their living room with so many boxes.

When Jessica and her aunt came by Omar’s house – her parents were out of town – she found all the three families enjoying themselves a lot. She presented her drawing to Omar and his mother, and extended a deep invitation to everyone there to be at their house on Christmas eve.

They solved the meaning of Christmas…

Have you?

What??? DECEMBER!

Yes, we are at December… It has come! Or almost.

And it is that magical time in which years converge, but for human mind it is not only years, it is much more…

There is a convergence of possibilities and opportunities.

Experiences and chances of success.

That transformation you have been dreaming so much and it seems so far away – now it is the moment to get that!

For the next two months, many people, particularly those with an interest on personal change, deep personal change, will be trying to change their routes in life. You, me and many people.

And do you know what? Let’s take advantage of this month and the next, go for that deep change and that will be the best gift we could receive in life.

 

Finding out more about your inner world

There is a world out there and people are CRAZY travelling around, as never ever before. And what about the inner world, that wonderful space within? How often do we travel within there?

There are landscapes, history places, wonderful people and culture in this borderless place called world. And there are beautiful things showing in our mind, wonderful memories and everyone we have ever met or knew, are there, at the distance of a thought.

There are opportunities to learning a new language, to eat a new type of food or trying clothes you would never do at home! Within yourself you can always learn something new, try something new or dare to think differently.

And of course, you can change the course of the world or your life by moving to other places; and yet, in this inner world of yours, there are so much to learn and to experience that you can transform yourself and, eventually, the whole world.

Hope you try to know your beautiful inner world.

The wonderful story of your life

A short video touched me a lot, showing the work of Dr. Essam Daod. At one point, he describes what happened to a young child and how he was able to change the perception of that boy – instead of a poor refugee, he was a hero as he crossed the sea!

So, during a walk I remembered the story of someone who went through a tough moment in her trip and when she finally reached the final destination, a very spiritual person looked at her and said: You are very courageous. At that moment, it seems she has forgotten the whole ordeal and joy filled her heart.

We all go through traumatic events, small or big, and it is worthwhile to remind ourselves we are heroes crossing our own sea, we are very courageous and our story is wonderful. It will be especially useful when the situation is fresh.

If it took place sometime ago, you can reflect a bit not much as about what happened, but your victory, no matter its size.

If it took place a long time ago, you can talk to yourself in a positive manner, reminding yourself about how you were able to reach this point in life. You are a hero; you just need a little reminder…

To count with someone

 

In a world in which the tendency is to be by yourself, it is good to remind everyone the sweetness of having another person by your side and I want to share two stories about that.

Many times, I have stayed at a friend’s apartment in Mumbai, India and I remember when his father was staying along with him; old and with no duties at the house, the couple used to take care of his needs. In fact, his wife, a doctor like him, left her job to help in taking care of her father-in-law. I would never question their culture and that dedication to the elderly, but the fact she left her job…  Eventually, her father-in-law passed away; next time I went to stay with them, something magical took place. First, I noticed a different vibration at their place and then I heard the news she got a new job: this time, she was working as dean at a medicine college for women. By taking care of that old man, she enriched herself, the magic of having someone around or, in her case, to be the one that others have around.

Even though I am single, I have been living in a community for many years. The dynamic is very different than a family, but there is a special energy of cooperating beyond our own limitations. This time, it has been my turn to feel the enrichment by other points of views, by the chance to help others to change their points of view and by understanding sometimes, it takes time to match different points of view. An interesting example is food – by the way, they come from a different cultural background and what is delicious for them, for me it is… ok… My main contribution was to introduce PIZZA to special occasions and I was amazed one day, by knowing someone was able to cook it better than me. They also enriched me in so many ways…

Do you realize how rich you are becoming by counting with others?

Do you know how rich others are becoming because they can count with you?

A tale of immortality

At times of fear – Halloween, world in crisis, the danger of the broccoli – we try different tactics to overcome it.

Halloween stimulates humor as a way of dealing with crisis.

A world in crisis… only generates anxiety and worry, but there are plenty of ways to deal with it, like meditation.

About the broccoli, no solution…

But you probably know that the source of all fears is considered the fear of death, so what about if we were immortal? A few thoughts on this:

If I am immortal, it means death is not a thing and everything that happens to me is for a reason. My focus is on the learning instead of the tragedy.

If I am immortal, it means the huge crisis the world goes through is not permanent; I rather think of things that are permanent, like my own spirituality and my relationships.

If I am immortal, everything around me is a wonder of nature and as such, all is perfect. Maybe I will be hurt or hurt others, perhaps I will damage something, but as all in nature, everything will be OK.

If I am immortal, I am free of any fear and I can live life in its fullness.

Victory over THOSE THINGS you cannot defeat

There are things you cannot defeat…

There are those projects at work you will never be able to finalize.

There are people you won’t forgive. Never!

There are memories that cannot fade away and they will keep haunting you forever.

However…

By just trying to finalize a project at work, you will be developing new skills, a new attitude and a new perspective on your profession. Maybe the project is not as important as those things you are acquiring.

Many years ago, a yoga teacher was sharing about a person she could not forgive. It was a surprise for me and for the people who were with her, and yet it was like taking a course of “how to forgive the unforgivable”. Maybe you cannot forgive someone, but I know you are a good person and I am sure you are not wishing bad things to those people. So, instead of trying to forgive or think of forgiving, just visualize that person happy and peaceful… I am sure that pure energy will reach them.

And instead of being haunted by old memories, why don’t you create new ones? Go for a walk at a beautiful place, invite someone to have lunch with you or simply read a book that inspires you; new beautiful and powerful memories will serve as candles that will illuminate the castle of memories and will prevent the ghost of bad memories to ever come back.

There are things you cannot defeat, but you cannot be defeated either.

In fact, victory can be as simple as reframing what you want to get, wishing the best to others and lighting a lamp in your mind.

HAPPY DIWALI!

Living among lambs

There are people who are like lambs: calm, quiet, tender and without much initiative…

If you are one of those lambs, sorry, but a bit of initiative does a lot for a person’s personal growth and the service of others.

To take initiative or proactivity is an essential quality to live in a very chaotic world in which leadership is missing, a lot! If you don’t have it well developed you will be either waiting for some miracle to happen, trying to avoid situations or complaining about them.

My question would be: how to keep all qualities, but add proactivity? After all, it is wonderful to be a person who cares about others, who don’t get upset and who is always smiling.

If you feel you are a lamb, these are a few things you could be to improve your proactivity:

• Take some time to understand your specialties, those things in which you are EXCELLENT. You always have at least one, it is time to value it more.
• Refocus your life in such a way you can use more and more your specialties.
• When you are facing a situation and you are not confident, remember the best of yourself: your qualities or inner powers. This exercise will help you to experience self-esteem.
• When you are not an expert and you cannot take initiative, help in some other way; remember the experts often are under lots of pressure and there are many things you can do to help them.
• If you are REALLY feeling scared, remember moments in your life when you experienced fearlessness or courage; by doing it, you will invoke those qualities and the fear will diminish.
• It is SO IMPORTANT to not deny your own fears; embrace them and work within to manage those unease feelings.
• Train yourself. The more you are qualified, the more you will feel capable and so it will be very easy to take initiative.

Undergoing the surgery of the self

Just think of yourself as something more than your body… Can you see which sicknesses affect the soul, for using a word?

Many years ago, I listened to someone who referred the crisis on values as one of those illnesses and it is clear the pandemic of loneliness also comes from within, as a virus that is affecting the self.

The present war, the greed that is eating the world, the lack of trust on institutions and many other things are visible symptoms that indicate something is not right – and if they are not right in the macro level, we should think things are not right in the micro level.

Comparing with a body, we think of it as sick when organs are not working as they should and, by understanding the symptoms, we can find out the sickness and look for a cure.

My question is: what to do in relation to a sick soul?

That means ME, YOU, that micro level that sums and interacts with others generating a definite impact on the macro.

Because of too many factors, it is not possible to correct the macro level, even though we have been trying for ages. But to reach the micro level is EXTREMELY possible as it is under our power and control. And if we change the self, the world will be changed too at some point.

So, a point for reflection: what is the surgery we should undergo, in terms of the soul? By fixing the illnesses of the self, the world will heal.

 

Living among wolves

Imagine you are living among wolves… Scary, right? It depends.

First possibility is that you are a wolve yourself: you follow the rules, you hunt for living and you work in close cooperation with others. The problem is when you meet another pack and a battle takes place.

The second possibility is that you are a lamb and, sorry, but you are already dead! Maybe they keep you for a while, but one of these days, your life will end and you will be feeding these hungry wolves.

The last option I am seeing in my mind is that you are a human…

In the first possibility, you may not even realize you are that wolf. Violence, anger and constant threats is part of your life and cooperation is a tribal word for you and it does not work for those who are outsiders. Growth will be limited and your life will be restricted by what the society, tradition or culture tells you to be.

Of course, that is much better than being a lamb – it is that person who does not want to comply with the rules, with how society works, but they don’t have enough power to face it either. Eventually, life will be over – either you will resuscitate as a wolf or you will be just a skin of a person, barely living.

But what about being a human?

You can fight against them, but if you are LIVING WITH THEM, how can you fight for decades?

Maybe you can avoid them… You could build a fence and so, they are not allowed to come too close to you. But, without realizing, you are the one imprisoned, not the wolves; this is after all THEIR world.

You may try to imitate them, but, well, they figure out one day and you will be in danger.

You can try to domesticate them. However, it is not so easy, you will spend lots of energy and you will end with fake dogs instead of powerful wolves.

Best solution: you must learn how to live with them. They are beings that are so different than you and yet, they have many similar traces: negative (violence, difficulties to adjust to another person or group) and positive (cooperation, norms).

If you are aware you are surrounded by wolves, don’t be afraid; instead, start watching them and communicate in a very assertive way. Look for the beautiful things (cooperation for instance) and work from that perspective. Don’t deny who you are, but focus on find long-terms solution for your coexistence.

And one day, you may smile watching the beautiful people with whom you have the honor to live.

Self-transformation: is that easy?

At so many places, people are talking about self-transformation as if it is the easiest thing anybody can do. Maybe not so much a complete self-transformation, more a constant advertisement of the possibility of change: Easy, very easy change.

I am in a self-transformation path and I should tell you it is that easy… and yet, so difficult!

The easiness comes from the fact real transformation is often going back to a natural state of life, and what is easier than being natural? A big part of a transformation process is to get rid of the unnatural parts of a personality and lifestyle.

The difficulty comes from getting rid of something so unnatural that has turned into natural due to its use.

For instance, a common aspect of self-transformation is a big change in the routine: getting up earlier, including exercises in the routine, starting to meditate, etc. In fact, all of these are natural, I assure you, but after a while of getting up late, not doing exercises and not meditating, all of these must be relearned.

Easy and difficult… that’s the challenge!

So, if you want to make a big change in your life…

1. Understand what you are going to change and how.
2. Develop the awareness of how natural is that state – a retreat, for instance, can help that realization.
3. Walk your path with that awareness and whenever things don’t go as planned or desired, just remember you are going back to a natural state.
4. Don’t struggle with your own inner resistance; instead, develop resilience by meditating, studying or other methods.

Good luck with your self-transformation!

Victory or defeat

Victory or defeat is a relative perception. An example is given by Peter Drucker, the famous consultant and guru, about a leader who overstepped his faculties and tried to get advantage of a situation. It was clearly unethical and Drucker shows how the leader got his victory, only to turn into a horrible defeat a few years later and his leadership ceased to be considered magnificent.

In a very recent spiritual class, I was touched by a point that stated a short-term defeat can be a long-term victory.

Common people often don’t think in these terms - victory or defeat - but that’s our lives: “I have got this job”, “I lost that client”, “My friend stopped talking to me”, “My child got the best marks at college”, and so on.

Sometimes we win.

By working on our awareness, we are able to take the maximum of our victories in such a way that we can win again in the future. Besides, we may inspire others to win and, last thing, if for any reason our victory meant a defeat for another person, we can help the other one to feel OK, process what happened and be victorious next time.

Sometimes we lose.

• We can always do alchemy and convert defeat into victory by:
• Learning a powerful lesson that empowers the self for the future.
• Imbibing a few useful qualities like humility, which otherwise wouldn’t come to our lives.
• Changing defeat into a step closer to victory, as there is always a valuable experience that comes with defeat.

Translating that into our lives:

• “I have got this job.” I will work in a very effective way, being aware that I am inspiring others too. If, for any reason, someone I know lost an opportunity like this, I will find a time to talk with the person and see how to help them.
• “I lost that client.” It is time for deep reflection, to understand what happened, maybe to talk with a friend, my boss or a coach about it. And move on! There are more clients out there.
• “My friend stopped talking to me.” I will make some time to try and talk to them, by using honesty and kindness. Meanwhile, I will send them best wishes and positive thoughts.
• “My child got the best marks at college.” I will celebrate along with them, but I will be clear my love for them is not conditioned to whatever happened in their lives; I love them as they are.

I wish you the best victory, a real victory.

Overcoming the effect situations of high-impact

Two scenes come to my mind. The first one was when I was still a child and I broke my arm while practicing judo; my master at the time did not handle the situation well and I was not treated as I should have been. When I finally went to a doctor, many days later, I was told that it was too late and that I would forever have trouble doing certain movements.

Another scene was in my late teens; I was just coming to Brahma Kumaris, this wonderful spiritual path that I have been following for almost 40 years. A teacher was giving a class and she was a psychologist, so she shared a concept unknown to me until that point, related to the impact of situations with a high emotional impact. I experienced such clarity that many of my problems up to that moment (and in the future as well) started to make sense and it became easier for me to find solutions.

I mention these two scenes because they exemplify a lot of what a trauma is: the encounter of a person with a high-impact situation. There are several examples:

• Physical, as in the case of my arm.
• When you lose the job on which you depend so much, a financial trauma.
• Relational, in the case of the death of someone or the dissolution of a family.
• Emotional, which can come from an experience of abandonment.

However, the question here is how to overcome these high impact situations as they cannot be avoided (most of the time). But there is nothing that really prevents us from handling their effect.

From my previous narrative, I would suggest two things:

The first thing to consider is to get help from someone who can really cooperate in the work of relief and healing.

Second, reflect and understand the effect of this on life, particularly habits that can emerge and affect life negatively.

By doing this, you can initially alleviate the impact of the situation, process what happened and, consequently, begin a healing path, transforming the trauma into a learning experience.

Science and superstition: which one?

With the pandemic, many things took place at the same time and I have been observing for some time a struggle between science and superstition, a word I am using here in its higher form, in the minds and decisions.

One of the reasons science should win this battle is that it relies on experiments and those take time, while superstition is only observation, which is fast but not entirely reliable. There is also a subtle reality: the hesitance by scientists to accept that which cannot be proved; in this way, scientists and those who believe in science close the doors for many people to try to believe in what they say.

I consider myself a man of science and I prefer to check things before believing them; that’s the main reason I am vaccinated and I believed in the invisible virus.

However, we shouldn’t dismiss superstitions so easily. After all, they come from a long lineage of culture, religion and tradition, and any aspect of that comes also from observation and experiments.

I am following a spiritual path and I also believe in things like soul and God, things that are very unscientific. They also come from observation and experiments, and I experience benefit all the way.

How to conciliate both sides?

One suggestion is that both sides should be a little more open to the other as both can complement each other.

Science people could at least accept not everything can be proved even though, they exist. Let’s say we talk about theories, so there could be a category, such as IDEAS that congregate all that takes place and cannot be easily (if ever) checked.

In the same way, those who believe in things that have been taught as per their culture, religion or traditions, could at least try to open their minds for science, by trying to understand statistics, theories, experiments, and many other things that characterize the scientific effort.

I do believe when we unite these two different and valid sides of human kind, humanity will have taken a high jump.

Is it easy to be superman or superwoman?

A song has touched my heart and it affirms, again and again it’s not easy… to be that hero others expect you to be.

This is reflected in many movies and episodes: being a hero is not an easy job. Supermen and superwomen are becoming out of fashion…

And yet, maybe this is the moment humanity needs more than ever a hero. Or two. Perhaps more than that…

Climate change, politics, social issues, economics… Wherever you look, the signs of distress of a society in decline are visible. As per history, our civilization is about to be destroyed.

So, we, ordinary people, look at the sky, looking for a savior, a hero or a heroine to prevent that destruction.

We need people who are able to do sacrifices, help others beyond their limits and use their superpowers to overcome obstacles.

Unfortunately, we can’t find them. Perhaps, all we need is another point of view: would YOU like to be the next SuperWoman or SuperMan?

Your superpower could be mercy, gentleness or the incredible ability of not contaminating the planet.

Your sacrifice may be the end of old harmful habits like prejudice, wasting food, consumerism and many others.

If you accept, at every heart of those you help, a statue will be erected in your honor, a statue made of love, blessings and good wishes.

Please, accept… I’ve offered myself already, it is worthwhile.

Rebirth…

I have believed in reincarnation since I was a little child. Not sure who introduced me to the concept, but for me it was obvious that someone who dies, they have to come back.

However, in their new life, they won’t remember their past life. I have learned that it will be present in their attitude and their way to see the world, their virtues and their defects, their differences with their community and also their natural similarities.

So, I was thinking of this pandemic as a kind of death of a society. It means we are living in a reincarnated society.

A society that has forgotten what has happened.

A society whose people’s attitude is similar to their past attitude, even though they are claiming it is different.

Their way of seeing the world is not so different than before.

Virtues and defects are almost the same.

Back to the reincarnation, when there is that awareness, people are also cautious with their actions, trying to avoid the repetition of former mistakes and create a new life. Some would call it a rebirth, not only in the physical sense.

My hope is that our society also experiences a rebirth and people change their way of seeing life. Maybe I am the one to start with it…

The fine balance for your success…

There is a special secret for those who believe we all have an inner compass: the East and the West.

Success – real success – comes when there is a balance of excellence in all areas of life: personal, working, health, spirituality, etc. This is why real success is often out of reach…

A few examples: you probably know people, whose health is amazing, but their relationship with others is horrible, and there are those whose career is ascending constantly, despite the fact they feel down in a personal level.

With this special secret, any person can reach for that balance: at every activity, use the light of your spirituality (the East) and the road of your life experiences (the West).

Before doing anything, particularly if it is impacting or relevant, practice spirituality by meditating or a praying. Also, check if the present capacity matches the need of those actions; if it doesn’t, maybe training is in order.

During activities, keep the spiritual light on; something written can serve as a reminder and from time to time, read it. Jump into the action, by being effective and highly productive.

After those actions, sit down and practice spirituality again. Gratitude may be expressed or just a reflection on what took place. Learning the lessons and planning changes will help improving performance next time.

Check your values at every step

Being a value-oriented person is much more than just being a nice person – it means your actions are connected with your core.

Let me explain: we are like lettuce. It means we have several layers, but there is a central core, the innermost part of the self. Most of the time, our relationships, work, study and the various ways we interact with the world are done from the most superficial layer, which is basically what we write in our curriculum vitae.

However, the main source of energy is in the core of our being, which is full of peace, love, purity and many other wonderful qualities. They try very hard to come into our interaction and to be part of our lives, and that is through values.

When we enable our values to be part of our lives by shaping our decisions, the resulting actions will be full of those qualities and the outcome will be an accomplished life. Then, why don’t we do that?

First reason is that we are used to act from the outer layer, and it is not that bad… a few stains here and there, that’s all! Most of the time… To change it we need to work on our attitude and our awareness, and go deeply, before taking any decision and any step.

Second reason is not good, but we are living in a world in which values have become political weapons. That is the environment we are watching in the news and we experience it when we start to talk with other people. We have to depoliticize values and that starts by not imposing our values onto other people.

The third reason is that people don’t have access to their core. It is often done by praying, meditating or living a spiritual life. Besides those who do have access don’t always implement them into their mundane lives… they are a bit flying in the moon… The best thing here is to start using some technique to live those values and to make sure they also become part of a normal common life.

A purpose for leaders of the self

What is your purpose?

If you are a very educated person, you will ask back: what???

Purpose is an inner guidance that makes the individual to do certain things and not others. As humans, we have a few of these, but purpose is the one with the most impact.

There are of course many different types of purpose, but I am talking here about a higher purpose, something that is not conditioned by a period of time and it serves as part of the inner compass.

Every time someone is REALLY following their purpose, naturally there will be satisfaction in life, all will be successful and the person will feel accomplishment at every step of the process.

However, if the person is not following that in terms of actions and behavior, or even attitude, then satisfaction will come only when there is visible profit, not everything will be successful and the person won’t feel accomplishment all the time.

Lastly, if the person is GOING AGAINST their purpose… Well, there will be dissatisfaction most of the time, even when there is success it will look like a failure and there will be the feeling this is not fulfilling my purpose in life.

Let’s work on a simple example: a new job.

If the job is aligned to the purpose – I feel my purpose is being fulfilled here – there will be enthusiasm while working, tasks will be fruitful and the person will feel they are progressing by working there.

If the job is NOT aligned to the purpose – I should be doing something else, I should be working somewhere else or in another thing – then there will be enthusiasm from time to time, but most of the time, the person will just do their job; the person will fulfill their role in the tasks, but there will be a lack of belonging and so they may be done in an automatic way, and they will be probably looking for another job right now!

If the job is AGAINST the purpose – What am I doing here? – there will be lack of enthusiasm and maybe an attitude of rebellion against it; this person perhaps will affect other people and the work climate, and finally they will feel stuck there and they may try to do their worse at their position.

So, what is your purpose? As it will impact your whole life, it is better you know it and you live it.

Quo Vadis?

 

Where are you going? It is a very old question… and yet, so important for days like the ones we are living.

There is a general sensation of earth as a boat adrift, without a clear leadership and very little initiative from people in general. The leadership that exists is often restricted to a small sector and its influence does not spread, besides our leaders look like they need lots of help due to the complexity of the present.

In relation to people in general, I feel we are not taking advantage of this unique moment in history: we can all be leaders… of the self.

So instead of looking for people who would tell us where to go, what to be in the future and how to create a new world, it is our turn – yours and mine – to find that out.

So, ask yourself: where am I going? The answer will motivate you to give the first steps.

Prosperity & peace

I think it is intuitive to link prosperity and peace, after all the more prosperous a place is, more peaceful will be. I wonder if the same is true for people…

In the past few years, news has come up of very prosperous people who would be suffering for some reason or another, even going to the extreme of suicide.

It is true there are not too many news to reach to the conclusion of money does not bring happiness… or peace. However, if you know someone who is really prosperous in terms of wealth, you probably know that person has many problems and has to face many crises. Worry and anxiety is a common trace associated to prosperity.

Maybe we have to look into prosperity beyond money or material wealth. When we look at a very prosperous country, besides their material wealth, there is an immaterial wealth: their culture, their values, their touristic places and many more things.

In the same way, besides wealth, every person has a huge treasure of qualities, inner powers, and talents. When those people join others, that treasure replicates in an infinite way.

In fact, looking back into countries that did not have a material wealth some time ago – like India or China – by investing their energy in their immaterial wealth, they are nowadays considered prosperous countries… So, if a person does not have material wealth, but they are connected to the immaterial one, then they are, without a shadow of doubt, very, very prosperous.

Now, because their focus is on the intangible part, PEACE will be developed since it is there too.

So if you feel you are not experiencing peace, work on acknowledging your own prosperity. Peace will come.

If you are not feeling that prosperous, tour around your inner wealth from time to time, and connect to your inner peace. Prosperity will come.

About life in these strange times

On one hand, our society is so advanced… Human rights, development and even entertainment are the best, particularly if we compare with old centuries.

And yet…

After a long time, we are witnessing a war between big countries and we are feeling its effects.

After a long time, the number of people starving is about 800 millions! It seemed we were almost winning over this and then…

After a long time… the list is long and because of this, it is difficult to accept what is going on.

But, what about embracing this reality? What about accepting it?

I am not saying or suggesting that we think these things are right, but they are real and if we really want them to change, it is only when there is acceptance that magic happens.

So, instead of trying to avoid news or talking about irrelevant things (to avoid the BIG talk), just embrace that is the reality we are all living.

From that, understanding will come and solutions will come up.

You are not alone, I am not alone; we are all in the same boat and in one way or another, we are all experiencing the effects of the very strange times we live.

Quicksand and slow-sand

I was “playing” with the idea of a quicksand… OK, maybe it is not a nice image as per the general perception, if someone steps on a quicksand, they are swallowed by earth! That’s why the first rule is CHECK THE PLACE WHERE YOU ARE STEPPING.

However, if you do step on a quicksand, slow movements will help and the best you stay quiet, the hardest will be for the quicksand to take you in. Your chances of survival will increase by doing that.

Now, if we think about SITUATIONS as quicksand, we can extract a few lessons and turn it into a slow-sand, a process in which you are changing the pace of life and going deep.

• Always be cautious. If you can foresee a bad situation coming, don’t step into it just like that; wait a bit, reflect, contemplate and meditate… If it is a quicksand – something that will swallow your energy, your potential, or your wealth – don’t step into it. Look for alternatives instead.
• If you are feeling situations are already taking too much from you, slow your movements, that is, be more reflexive and contemplative. Take your time whenever you can and talk with someone you trust about what you are living. Don’t let yourself be dragged by circumstances.
• Silence does three things when situations are like quicksand: 1) silence empowers and so your resilience increases; 2) silence clarifies what you are going through and, in this way, you are not afraid, and 3) silence heals since many times this type of environment may hurt you.

So, are you ready to convert the quicksand of your life into a slow-sand?

The power of being fearless

Fear is an energy that moves reality, but not in the best way possible. It is so powerful that many things around us were created out of fear – fences, big walls, security system, firewall, etc. It is so powerful that moves the economy in many places and can even elect new rulers.

However, it is a very bad energy and for many reasons:

• It prevents looking for more opportunities and big changes.
• Self-esteem is affected negatively.
• It can create problems between people.

This small list helps us to understand the real power behind being fearless:

• When you are able to overcome fear, you will be able to embrace new opportunities and be an agent of change for yourself.
• Your self-esteem will increase in an amazing way, which will transform your life.
• Another chance for a healthy relationship is so important; relationships trigger parts of the self that otherwise will remain in the potential, not in the reality.

Being wise instead of knowledgeable

We live in a society that is hungry for knowledge and learning. It has been a beautiful dream of a long time for many people and it is no small wonder to see even the simplest people accessing technology that was available only for high class or academics in a very recent past. However…

There is a cost for life in this knowledge-centered society: knowledge cannot solve all problems. This impossibility generates frustration and even feelings of depression. A high number of articles on topics like 5 Common Mistakes Smart People Make shows this reality. But why knowledge is not enough? That is when wisdom comes in…

After all, besides solving math problems and design complex strategies, a leader or any person also needs to solve relationship issues or to face health problems, for which that person’s knowledge won’t be necessarily useful. But wisdom will be!

It has a variety of meanings, but I would indicate a few levels of wisdom that can be applied to resolve different circumstances in life.

1. A knowledge-based wisdom. I think the first level is pretty simple: just apply knowledge! For instance, you can research about courses that will help you to improve your relationship or heal your health.
2. Intuition. Although some affirm it is restricted to a particular gender, it is not my experience. Basically, it means to listen to the non-logical part, a side of our brain or perception that is able to “catch” signs our conscious self didn’t, and it is not conditioned by gender, age, race, religion or any label. It will guide you in giving a special gift to that special person or talking to a different doctor who would have an unorthodox solution for your problem.
3. Contemplation. There is a point your wisdom comes from a deep contemplation. A few years ago, I tried to discern the difference between contemplation, reflection and meditation; when you reflect, you speak to yourself, while when you contemplate, you let your own self to speak to you… (meditation unites both in one practice). To be wise at this level means you don’t take decisions in a rush; you rather take your time, check between several possibilities and then you take a decision. Therefore, you won’t rush into a solution for a relationship or health, but you will think it deeply and the solution will come to you.
4. A master. It is not the final level, but you can call it a final stage of the path of wisdom. You start sharing and teaching others, and they are able to learn and follow a similar path. Success is measured here not for the master’s achievements – which are still important as they show their own wisdom, – but for their followers’. A master will teach about relationship and health, and their disciples will find solutions.

In which level of wisdom are you?

About life in these strange times – taking advantage of an opportunity

Three recent scenes summarize for me how we are living:

1. People were avoiding a place close to their houses due to the COVID virus, and yet that same people travelled to another country, exposing themselves to the same virus (no masks on the way)!
2. I’ve passed through sunshine, drizzle, storm, cloudy and rain… in just one walk, less than an hour!
3. A dog walking with its dog walker… without leash!

What is the meaning and the lesson to be learnt?

• There is a lot of fear, illogical unreasonable fear, which makes people to not reflect and instead to act on instinct, wasting wonderful opportunities. Fear prevents people to take a chance.
• Another reason people don’t take a chance comes in the form of an obstacle. In fact, whenever someone is trying to change something in their life, complications come on the way as if life doesn’t want the person to change. Keep going, keep moving; the weather in your life will change and you will adapt.
• Freedom comes from the power of adaptation to new situations. Not adapting in the sense of losing a dream or an objective, rather than that, by throwing unnecessary thoughts and emotions away. In other words, enjoy the ride, life is giving!

What are the scenes in your life that inspire you to understand the world?

About love and compassion, mercy and understanding

Many times, while reading the news, the conclusion is that our world has turned into a very dry place…

So, would you try to use a bit of water of love? Just give other people something: a smile, a kind word or an object wrapped with good intentions.

Maybe a bit more water: the water of compassion. Embrace the other one – it could be physically or spread your warmth around the other person, telling them I am here for you.

More and more water… this time the water of mercy. Like a nurse, help others in their healing, by tirelessly offer them something special – maybe your role as mother, your capacity as an engineer or your ears as a friend.

But it is the last water that will make all your effort fruitful: the water of understanding. With understanding, forgive and open new doors of opportunity for people; with understanding, change the best you can and help others in their own change, and with understanding, help the world.

Peace within, peace outside

I do believe that whatever is inside will come outside at some point. So, if you cultivate peace within…

Maybe the world won’t turn peaceful completely.

It is quite possible your country will keep on experiencing violence.

Your city won’t be peaceful immediately, in fact not even your neighborhood.

Maybe your house will feel your peace, not sure about your work or school.

However, if you REALLY invest time and energy in that wonderful experience of peace, inside you…

At some point, people at your company, school or family will realize that and they will feel inspired to tap into that same source of peace.

Each person you touch will touch other people in your neighborhood, city, country or abroad; and many of them will be peaceful.

 

And one day, you will look at what you have inspired or created: the wonderful peaceful world we all want to come.

Why should you meditate for the world?

We should do many things for the world and there are several lists that include:

• To be honest with others.
• To be always caring.
• To recycle, to reuse and to avoid buying more things.
• Etc.

But it is not common to find to meditate as one of the important things to do for the world. And yet, it is very important.

Let’s check the former list:

• To be honest with others will help in creating a better community; it will improve relationship and stimulate your professional career.
• To be always caring will not only give someone else a feeling of inner comfort, but it will also open your heart, which will impact your relationships with others too, strengthening the community.
• To recycle, to reuse and to avoid buying more things is not only the right thing to do, to help earth and its resources; it will also help you to save money and to have a better life.

So, to meditate… what will happen to you and to the world?

First, you will feel good… meditation gives a wonderful inner feeling and it improves your mood and state of mind.

Second, by meditating you generate an atmosphere around you, due to the vibrations of peaceful thoughts. So, anyone who comes to you takes benefit of your meditation and they will also experience peace in their minds.

Third, when you meditate to the world, your thoughts travel and touch many people’s minds, bringing peace to them. It is as if your room has extended itself and covered the whole world…

The world needs peace more than never… It is everyone’s turn to send a drop of peace through meditation.

Zeppelins & kites

The desire of humans to break from earth, to fly above and beyond is very old, and it seems we have all made it.

But there are means of flying that have been restricted to a mythical realm, like flying carpets. And other means have stimulated the myth so much that they turned to reality… and it is a good point of reflection about its meaning.

After all, we can easily fly nowadays, but we are still trapped by the gravity of our situations and maybe there is a response in those artifacts that turned into myths.

 

Zeppelin

The Zeppelin had a very interesting story and helped changing the communication and transport between Europe and America. Just to know, the Queen Mary ship could take 5 days to cross the Atlantic, while the Zeppelin spent half of that time.

Even though it had a very tragic end and it was mixed with war during its existence, it shows the importance of crossing distance, even with a pending danger.

In relationships, many times we must be the ones to cross the distance and to come close to another person. There is always a danger that relationship may explode… so we have to be careful and dream even higher.

 

Kites

They look like very common objects, but if you have one of them in your childhood, no doubt you experienced its magic.

In a very famous tale, Ray Bradbury uses the magical kite to solve a conflict between two cities: one city, pictured a Golden Kite at their gate, showing its beauty and the other city showed a Silver Wind. The wind without a kite is not so beautiful; a kite without wind can’t do much.

As a person, you can fly very high in your dreams, but you will always need someone’s help, so that your dream can turn into a reality.

Other people, other worlds

People have been compared with islands – sometimes because of the isolation, but you can think of people as a self-sufficient world.

Yes, we need other people and only a handful attempts to live isolated have really worked. However one thing is to connect and live with others out of need; another thing is to have so much to share and to be open to what others have to share. It means we are all rich…

I am not talking about physical wealth: some people’s richness comes from their virtues, other people’s wealth is their talents or their lifestyle, but in essence, we are all rich people! That is a big change of perspective.

The other person is as rich as me. That means, they don’t need me and I don’t need them.

We are different worlds and by sharing what we have, and accepting what others share we may build a wonderful relationship.

So, just think: what do I have that can enrich others?

Now, in relation to the people with whom you have a relationship: what do they have that is enriching my life?

A new world starts with your mind

Too many people promise a new city, a new country, a new way of doing things, a new business, a new man or woman…

But, you know, everything new starts with a new mind. For instance, let’s say we want a new world (we want it, right?):

1. Sow the seeds for a new world. They come from the best part of you – from your courage, honesty and love, from the sweetness you treat others and the pure intentions you have when you are working. Let all of that floods your mind with good thoughts and wonderful feelings.
2. Ah, before that… plough your mind a little bit. Unfortunately, we are so much engrossed into a world with so many problems that the idea of a total new world in which those problems are solved, are easy to solve or simply don’t exist is insane… And yet… that’s part of the game of thinking of a new world. Start to read more about a new world and talk with other people; awaken those crazy ideas that a better world IS REALLY POSSIBLE!
3. Take care of those thoughts. The best way to create a new world is from a new self; so, start to change little things here and there, improve your habits and your life’s quality. The other day, I was watching a video that showed how a guy moved out of a crowded city to give a better quality for his dog – why don’t we do a similar thing to our own selves?
4. Water it daily and be careful with the birds! You need to create a new thought every day for a new world; for instance, one day you may think on how the economics will be and another day, how the politics will be there. But, you know the birds, they love to eat new green leaves… in your case, new ideas will be tested and fought by your best friends, your mum and dad, your kids, and of course your boss and mother-in-law… So, be prepared to have good arguments and maybe, to encourage them to think of a new world too, why not?
5. The crop will take time. A new world starts with in your mind and with your mind, but it takes time to come to reality. Still, believe me, it will come one day… just be patient and keep on cultivating it. One day, the new world will blossom for you!

The ugly duckling

At my worst moments during childhood, this story warmed my heart: the ugly duckling that was in fact a beautiful swan.

I have seen that in my life and many others’: from being bad or not so intelligent, people have turned wonderful people. My question is: How?

A few years in Colombia, I’ve met my publisher who convinced me to write a book. I decided to write on self-leadership and it turned to be a way for me to understand my own process from being an ugly duckling to a swan.

The story is really about overcoming limitations and becoming what your dreams are showing. It was for me an inspiration and I am sure it can be for you too.

I suggest you to consider yourself an ugly duckling and think about those limitations or weaknesses that are preventing you to become that wonderful swan. Don’t think too much of them…

Now, see yourself as that wonderful swan: you have overcome all those things and you are now whole… Think of that the time you want.

Many virtues and many defects

Maybe we don’t realize, but we have so many virtues – qualities that ease relationships and make life in a collective a wonderful experience.

Perhaps what we don’t realize is the quantity of defects we have – qualities that make life with others and the environment much hard.

We have both and it is good to know that, and to embrace both sides of the self. In a recent song nominated for the Oscar, the singer talks about how she saw clouds in a romantic way, until she understood clouds may mean harm and damage too. Life has both sides and to deny either of them is not healthy.

So if you are one of the many people in the world who don’t think very high of yourself, it is time to change that mentality: count your victories despite their small size, understand your main positive qualities and develop them, and above all, love yourself.

And if you are one of many who denies having any defects, just accept them: remember your defeats as a way to get a bigger success, work on those defects you have and, along with all that, unconditionally love yourself.

When you keep working on both sides, your life will be richer and you will inspire many others too.

Understanding the self, others and life – a key for success

The first stage for success is to reach a point when the person really knows himself, in all its levels and dimensions: what he likes and what he does not, strengths and weaknesses, potentials, virtues, inner powers, capacity, etc.

However, it is not enough. Know thyself is essential, but it is equally important to know others and life in general.

Well, if you still feel don’t know yourself, then take your time to do it by exploring and talking with yourself, without any judgment or preconception.

Then, do the same for others: explore, talk and don’t judge. By knowing others you will be able to create lasting bonds and make the best of your lives on this planet, because you’ve probably have noticed our species, communities and societies are based on relationship more than anything.

Then, do the same for the rest of this blue jewel in the black ocean of space: explore reality going beyond any assumption; relate to nature in all ways possible, and don’t judge. This will guarantee your path in this world will be firm, but without hurting anything on the way.

And then success comes, as natural as a river flowing downstream... It comes from your dedication to understand reality and improve yourself, as improvement comes with real honest observation.

Success comes because it has been always around, you only needed to realize it.

True leaders plant the seeds of new leaders - Reason 37

I will tell you one thing: a good leader is one who is capable of bringing up other leaders.   If a leader wants to lead alone, he is a tyrant.   True leadership is fruitful.   Each one of you has the seed of leadership.   The leaders of today will not be here tomorrow.   If they do not plant the seed of leadership in others, they are worthless.   They are dictators.[1]    Pope Francis

Literature often paints our society as a dance between leaders and followers.  As time passed by it turned to be a dance between followers only.  After all, leaders who are not true, they are indeed following someone else.

Whenever there is a leader who is dedicated to a true leadership, it comes from within.  It is based neither on a position in the organisation, nor even on the capacity to influence.  It comes from a conviction that will inspire and create future leaders, not just more followers.

Pope Francis highlights something very important in this quote:  the‘fake’ leaders who are in a certain position in the organisation or have a huge influence on others, are those who tend to create followers who do not question, and who will remain as followers unless they make a conscious decision to free themselves.

In contrast, true leaders will be surrounded by people who empower themselves and choose a clear destiny.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

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[1] Pope Francis.  He mentioned this during a teleconference with students from Havana and New York.  You can see the article at http://www.edition.cnn.com/2015/09/17/world/pope-francis-new-york-cuba-youth/