Do you have problems to make decisions?

What is the problem with making decisions?

First, why is it important to make good decisions?

By looking at a macro view, things are not OK… There are crisis everywhere and in every way possible, which probably means, in a micro perspective, that we are not making the best decisions we could.

If we extrapolate a bit: a community, society or country is the result of all our lives, so the result of all our decisions together.

So, if you and I start to make decisions that are more effective, that will have an impact in the whole…

Second, how to make better decisions then? These three points may help you:

1. Understand this: a decision cannot be unmade. Really. Even though you make a decision and change your mind, get a divorce or leave your job, that decision has affected you anyway. Any decision has weight in our lives, whether we recognize it or not, so to make an effective decision is crucial. Life is the result of all our decisions…
2. Before acting on a decision, reflect. All decisions must be made after a process of discernment. Take in account logic and intuition, your pragmatism and values; the more balanced is the discernment, the better will be the actions coming from it.
3. Be aware of decision fatigue. Before making a decision and acting on it, take a short break, meditate or just relax. This tiredness is not only in relation to physical aspects, but because decisions are something you cannot undo, there is always a subtle fear or anxiety. If you are tired at the time of making a decision, that won’t be so effective.

Going back to religions

Is religion good or bad?

Implicitly, this idea or question is daily present in the media, talks and dialogues. Crimes against people or by people are easily profiled according to a certain creed, even when, days later, is proofed that was not as such.

I believe the question is not much about the goodness of religion, but how religions may coexist. In reality, that has been the reality in many places for so many years and it is all based in a simple formula:

1. I believe in what I believe, this is my Truth.
2. You believe in what you believe, but I don’t share the same beliefs.
3. As long as I don’t try to convince you or otherwise, we can keep on working and living together.

Even in old beliefs of religions, that formula was present and it was very common that while professing a certain religion, people would keep distance from other religions without saying the other belief was wrong.

Unwillingly, as religions go against each other – or more precisely, religious people go against other religious people – they are becoming weak. Well, they are not clearly linked, but if we check the history of religions, we may realize that when they used to coexist there were more people following them, religions had more strength and positive influence than nowadays.

Maybe we cannot impact religions, but we may impact other people who follow a religion by working on these 3 aspects:

1. Believe in your own Truth, very strongly…
2. …even though I don’t believe in it.
3. I won’t try to convince you, please don’t try to convince me.
4. EXTRA: let’s do something together; let’s create something new, creative and powerful.

In this way, it will be possible people from different faiths to coexist and thrive.

No more problems…

OK, nobody likes a problem, but, you know what, they are good…

Problems enable me to make progress in life. Most of the time, problems make me reflect and understand reality in a different perspective and to be sincere, how boring a problem-free life would be!

In reality the problem is not with problems, but the lack of understanding or methodology to deal with them. Think about someone who does something you consider a problem in a cheerful way, like climbing a cliff or talk with their teenager child…

So, the real problem is to learn and to develop skills.

Next time you face a problem, don’t run, don’t evade, you don’t even need to change its name (a challenge…), just face it! Check:

• How do I see myself after overcoming this problem?
• What do I have to learn to deal with it?
• How am I going to learn it?
• In case there is not enough resources to learn (time, finances, etc.), what are other ways?
• What can other people help me in terms of learning or practicing skills to face this problem?

Learning in teaching

You could say teaching is learning in disguise.

The reason is simple: when you teach, you are making effort to transform ideas, particularly those that are ethereal into something more tangible, which makes you looking for great examples, research more or simply involve the class by asking questions. After this, the idea that you knew will have been transformed; in other words, you have learnt even more about that.

Many years ago, I went to a special 15-day course in India. When I arrive there, however, they had a lack in co-facilitators and I was asked to step in… That means, I really didn’t seat much during the course, as I had to help others to learn things that I was learning at the same time! The benefit was visible for me, as I was able to assimilate very difficult concepts because I had to invent new ways to explain them.

That does not mean you will just start teaching anything with the hopes that you will learn; you do need some basics for that and a good methodology, but it would help a lot if you teach more, share more and contribute more to others’ personal development.

Just be aware and at the end of a class, formal or not, check: What did I learn?

Expatriates: is this a new species?

Sometime ago, I wanted to promote a program with expatriates. With WHAT???

Yes, expatriates… And it is not a new word, it has been in use at least from the 18th century, but it has got a peak in its use in the last few years, simply because there are too many of us.

Yes, I am an expatriate…

And we are not, as some people understood, a person without a country (easy to get confused for those who speak Spanish or Portuguese). Neither are we part of a different species… We are people, OK, but a good comparison would be trees without fixed roots or free birds.

Expatriates go to another country because they have a job to do – an important difference in relation to an immigrant, who is moving to stay; after the job, the expatriate individual goes back to their country or to another one, but the immigrant will stay there until the end.

Why am talking about this? Because I feel it is a very important challenge the world in general is ignoring, with thousands of people roaming the planet without roots…

Our human society is a tree society since we are prepared from childhood to have a family, a stable job, settle somewhere, etc. Uprooted humans (a possible replacement for expatriate?) go against that general education.

And that is wonderful! As an expatriate, I feel I pollinate the world by taking experiences, points of view and values from one place to another, challenging the status quo and proposing changes to the environment where I live or go.

I thank every place for their kindness, lessons or the space to grow and although I am aware one day I may have to go from this place, I know that place will stay in my heart, in my awareness and as part of my personality.

Your life is a big adventure! – Reason 82

Someone said once that we are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience[1].

For a leader, that human experience is really an adventure!  Leaders can impact so many people and their own adventures; this is why it is so good to be a leader.

Being a leader is not about being the boss, mother or president; it means to be able to navigate in this adventure in such a way that at the end, there will be the pleasure of a fulfilled duty and the legacy you leave behind.

Just let your inner leadership flows through you and your life… And welcome the adventure of being a leader!

---

[1] Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, a French philosopher and Jesuit priest.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Lives always make sense – Reason 81

Most people do their best to get on with everyone around, at least those people who matter.  This is done because they are pertinent in their lives: they create an impact or they can support the person in their development.

Leaders will see every life as relevant and meaningful.  After all, if this person comes on her or his way, there is a reason, maybe even a secret behind their presence.

They have come to teach or to learn.  Perhaps, they have come to get something or to give something.  It is even possible they have come to create problems, so that the person may grow even more.

It seldom happens they have come so that the leader creates problems to them and in this way, they can grow even more.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)