When the end of the year is the end… A tale

What would happen if this year was the last year of my life?

A retired man decided to think like that for the whole year, since January, 1^st; every act, every word and even every thought had the energy of this is the end.

Every time he went for shopping or just for a walk, that thought was present: what would happen…

Gradually, his behavior changed according to his thoughts and he started to buy less and less. He also stopped wasting his time and he endeavor for EVERY SECOND of his life to be useful.

He started to talk with people he didn’t hear for years and he forgave… Oh, he forgave so many people!

He also asked forgiveness and appreciated others much more. He started to open his hearts to others, greeting acquaintances and smiling to unknown people.

By the end of the year, he realized he was having the best time of his life. He felt so light and yet so confident… He even studied something, even though he thought he couldn’t learn anything anymore!

When the year came to an end – and he noticed his life will continue – he reflected while looking at a beautiful starred sky.

What would happen if this year was the last year of my life?

And a new year started for him!

Is it Christmas yet? A tale…

“Is it Christmas yet?”

The blond nurse looked at the little boy with a smile.

“Not yet, but it will be Christmas very soon.”

“Thank you…” a faint sound came out from his mouth.

He loved Christmas as it was the day his family would come to visit him. It is not they didn’t visit at other dates – there were always someone around him – but for Christmas as a tradition the whole family would come.

They wouldn’t bring big packages with them, the nurses wouldn’t allow them, but his mother would show him a picture of his room: there were always HUGE PACKAGES, even a private Christmas tree…

He wondered again if he would see his room one day…

Late that night, a big man came. It was his first time around and it seemed to him he was mopping the floor, as he was almost lying down on the floor. Sleep didn’t come easy for him or most of the patients there.

“What are you doing?” he whispered.

The big man heard and froze in the act. Slowly, he stood up and then he could see the big man WHO HAD A WHITE BEARD, A RED UNIFORM… SANTA CLAUS!!

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“Shouldn’t you be preparing for Christmas?”

Both laughed and they talked for quite a while – it seems one of the nurses missed their shift again – until the little boy fell asleep.

Next day, he woke up with his family all over him; the best of day of the year has come! They talked and talked until he mentioned his close encounter with Santa Claus. Immediately his siblings mocked him.

After a very hot argument, he said he left him a gift.

“There are no gifts except the ones we brought.” his father spoke with some amusement.

“It is there! Look under my bed!”

Trying to end this argument, the man went to look and…

…came out with a beautiful package!

The boy wouldn’t be able to lift the package, so along with his elder sister, they opened it: a beautiful skateboard!

“That is what I always wanted!”

And every year, for a long time, there was always a package under the bed… From whom? The mystery remains, but the question “Is it Christmas yet?” was always followed by “Can you check under my bed?”

Almost there… the end of the year!

Before coming to the end of the year, what about stop and reflect a bit about what is going on…

A few points may help you with that:

If this year would be my last year on Earth, what am I taking with me?

If this year would be my first year on Earth, what have I learnt that was completely new?

Think of the memories I am carrying with myself…

Think of the memories I am definitely not carrying, and how am I going to dispose those?

What has been the main development in the self – a quality, an inner power, a talent – that will be very useful for next year?

What has been the main realization I had and how to keep on living that realization next year?

Who was the person I was able to have a powerful conversation and with which results?

Who was the person I could not have a powerful conversation and how to do it next year?

If I could come back from twenty years ahead and could give an advice to my present self, which advice will it be?

If I could travel back several years before and could give an advice to the then present self, which advice will be?

King or pawn?

If your life was a big game of chess, which position would you take?

I think at least in the level of perception, we all have thought of ourselves as kings of our own game… or pawns, at times.

When you are a king, you have power and so many people protect you, they are ready to leave the game if that is the case.

When you are a pawn, on the other hand, you are basically fodder for the cannon. You are made to die!

However, let’s think deeply… after all, the king can also be defeated and if this game is between me and, well, me, then who is the winner and who is the loser? On the other hand, the pawns are amazing in the game as they are the first ones to start and they are very courageous.

In reality, if you feel you are in a human chess game, even when you are the pawn – things are going wrong, you feel you are not supported, etc. – you can still let your courage and heart guide you.

Just…

Just say it… If it is in your mind, it won’t disappear. Add love to it.

Just do it… If it is in your mind, you are wasting lots of thoughts. Add determination to it.

Just think… Stop to think, to reflect and to contemplate. Add interest to it.

Just love… Don’t choose; love whatever comes in your way. Add selflessness to it.

Just hope… Hope never dies, don’t kill it then! Add enthusiasm to it.

Just dare… Courage is always present, use it! Add a smile to it.

Just have… Whatever you have is a reflection of what you are. Add value to it.

Just be with… Whomever you live or work with is showing the things you have to learn. Add a lesson to it.

Just work… When you work, you are emerging the best of yourself. Add relevance to it.

Just be quiet… Whenever you are quiet, you are emerging the best of yourself. Add silence to it.

Just BE… Know who you are, live who you are. Add spirituality to it.

Heroes of my life

Some time ago, I started noticing that in the various platforms I operate, in terms of social network, I started to see heroes…

I am not saying Hollywood or Bollywood heroes; true heroes, people who are doing unthinkable things to make others’ lives better. Have you seen anyone like that lately? Maybe your mother or an old uncle? Perhaps your neighbor or your kid’s teacher? They are everywhere!

And as I love the topic of heroes, I would like to talk about 3 things in relation to heroes and the first thing is: why do they become our heroes?

Many would say they are helping others in an extraordinary way, but the reality is others are also doing it and yet, they are not heroes, at least not for everyone.

The reason is simple: they become our heroes because we have that potential and see it expressed in them. That is, WE could be the ones doing that same thing this person is doing… In this context, the heroes that are emerging are helping us to understand more about the self.

The second thing is: what is their superpower?

The other day, I had a lecture on love and when I did a research, I found out those heroes that make me smile all the time they have very different skills, and they come in all sizes, shapes, color of the skin and religion, but one thing is common: a very deep love.

Maybe past heroes were not like that, but present heroes are expressing their love in ways that go beyond their duty and that also inspires us to express our love in different ways.

The last thing is: what is the real benefit of being a hero?

If you used to be a fan of heroes, maybe a comics collector, you have probably noticed a trend as modern heroes are depicted vulnerable, maybe even weak. A movie, considered by many the best movie based on a comic hero, shows exactly that: how a very macho hero succumbs to love and tenderness at the end…

So, if heroes are also vulnerable, what is the benefit? In fact, no matter what, (present) heroes are learning in two dimensions. On one hand, they WIN, that means, somehow they defeat evil, but on the other hand, they CHANGE deeply.

That’s why heroes are relevant to us, because they show no matter how rigid you are, how fixed is your role, you can change.

Now, stop reading this and be the hero you are!

Goals in life, are that important?

What is your goal in life? Goals?

Ok, let’s rethink that question: what can you do with your life, so that you become happy, peaceful, full of love and in harmony with others?

Tough question? Not so much… even though we often don’t ask us that question out loud, most of the time we would ask that question in a subtle way, particularly when we have a big decision to make.

In fact, goals are not as important in life as it is to have a memorable life, a life that at the end of the journey you will feel was so worthy to have lived it.

Now, don’t misunderstand me: to have goals, aims or objectives are EXTREMELY important. The problem is that to fulfilling a goal, sometimes you lose your happiness and peace, you miss whatever makes you feel loved and you fight other people.

So, are you going for a big goal in life? DO IT! Conquer your fears and overcome your obstacles, but don’t lose focus of what is important in life.

Just remember

Before reading this, check on the post Never forget… or forever forget?

 

There are two ways to remember something. The first is associated with the sensory organs, when we remember images, sounds, fragrances and other aspects captured by the body. The issue with this type of memory is that the body is constantly changing and probably the memories too; maybe something that tasted so good to you when you ate it, today when you remember it, the taste appears in your memory in a different way. It happens a lot with vegetarians like me, who still remember the churrasco, but its taste no longer attracts...

The other way to remember is to re-live what corresponds to this memory. Maybe I don't like the taste of meat anymore, I don't even remember it, but I will certainly like to remember being with other people, seeing new places and the tour related to the experience of food. This is why in many places of commerce, the emphasis is on delivering an experience to others, rather than the product.

With this in mind, the scenes in your life were a product of various factors, but beyond them is your experience. What will you really remember?

This is the magic of memory: being able to choose what will remain in your experience. This can transform the trauma into a trampoline, so that you grow much more quickly. Then, how to choose?

• After a difficult experience, set aside time for a powerful reflection. You'll know you've reached a point of self-realization when you stop blaming others, making excuses, or regretting what you did.
• Based on reflection, practice contemplation, meditation, or yoga; it will help you calm down, soothe you, and even empower you.
• If it was really hard, the constructive emotions derived from forgiveness may be necessary. So FORGIVE: others, situations, other things and particularly YOURSELF.

* You may need a professional to help you process what you experienced, in the case of trauma.

Laughing at your fears

One of the wonders of Halloween festival is to turn fear into laughter… well, not always, but most of the time this is its effect.

In fact, humor is a very powerful weapon against fear. To laugh or at least to smile at something that scares you, it empowers you.

So, let’s play a bit of a Reflective Halloween:

• Disguise yourself! Whenever you face something that triggers fear in you, just disguise yourself… not necessarily physically. For instance, if you are afraid of what your boss will tell you about that project delay, remember your triumphs and visualize you are the champion with a medal or a laurel wreath … then, talk to the boss!
• Pumpkins with candles! It is part of Halloween to decorate houses in a frightening way, transforming very harmless things – a pumpkin, a candle, a broom – into objects of fear… or power? Yes, instead of FRIGHT these objects have been empowered. So, transform your house in a house of power: your seat is a throne, your table is like King Arthur's Round Table and one of your rooms is a sacred place.
• Myths and legends… It is an important part of Halloween and there is lots of wisdom in that. ALL FEARS come from personal myths and legends, and if you remember movies well, at the end the hero or heroine – YOU! – always win. Next time you experience fear, just laugh at it and remember you are the hero or heroine of your own tale, whatever is taking place, you are the winner!

Never forget… or forever forget?

During life we go through so many experiences. Some are recorded deeply into the soul and we remember their images, sounds and sensations; they are also present in our habits, lifestyle, our way of thinking and communicating with others.

Other experiences, we forget so much that it is as if we have never had them: that wonderful food, this person who is talking, former co-workers…

Nothing bad about that, as it is normal, but the problem is when we remember what we should have forgotten and we forget what we should have remembered. What to do about it?

Let’s focus on the things we forget…

First of all, we shouldn’t feel bad if we have forgotten something*; there is always a reason for that. Maybe that scene is not relevant anymore in my life or at least, not at this moment; perhaps, I really didn’t see benefit in it. If someone is close to me, to us, they will accept that forgetfulness as normal and if it is necessary, they will remind us with kindness.

Now, if something was forgotten that was really important, a simple tip is to make it relevant again. For instance, I used to write poetry in my youth, but that was all forgotten; then, for some volunteer work, I had the challenge of reminding people of some duty and poetry, in a humorous way, has been used to do that – the person laughs at it, they like it and they do what they would be supposed to do!

Last, there is something we can control: what we are living right now. To remember or forgetting something, there are three questions we can ask ourselves:

• What am I learning?
• What is the experience I am living here that I want to treasure?
• Which of the experiences I am going through I will share with others?

This will help to keep something in memory, but also to release those things that are not useful or significant.

Of course, we have to do something to keep the memory: take pictures, write something, shoot the scenes… But the most important work has been done as that scene of our life has become more than just a passing cloud, turning into an important part of our life, something we will always remember…

* Sometimes, memory problems can be caused by physical reasons. If you forget things in a certain pattern, it is good to check with a doctor.

The formula for determination

If you have an objective in your life, there is something that is true, no matter what it is: you are not living or enjoying it today.

Why is this important? It is common that as soon as you set a goal in life or you start to pursue your dream, somehow you start to feel you are that already.

This is good, since it gives you the motivation, but some people falls into that trap and they stop to endeavor, as they think they are what they would want to be.

When you keep the fact you are not living that objective yet, you can move on by planning and creating that dream, bringing into your reality.

There are many techniques you can use, however no matter which ones you choose to do it, there is a common virtue, quality or value that will be useful for you and without which, it will be difficult to fulfill your goal: determination.

It means the energy that makes you move forward, despite obstacles, difficulties and, quite often, loss of interest. It helps you in critical moments of your self-progress and it gives you the boost you need.

However, to keep determined, particularly with long-term goals and when the road ahead is bumpy, there is a formula that may help you. As any formula, you may work on the factors, making it easier.

First, it is essential to understand that:

DETERMINATION is DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL to FAITH and SELF-CONFIDENCE

In other words, the more you have faith in the goal and you trust your talents, skills and whoever you are as a person, the easier will be to experience determination.

 

The formula

DETERMINATION = (CLARITY) + CONCENTRATION + SELF-EMPOWERMENT

Determination comes as a result of (first) having clarity in relation to your goal (and here, the order of the factor is very important). Then focus or concentration will keep you moving towards it, but due to obstacles and distractions, you do need to empower the self in many ways.

 

Although it does not mean you will fulfill your goal, to keep determination is probably half of the effort towards your objectives.

Discovering something new about me

How many new things have you learnt about you in the past twelve months?

Come one! At least one thing…

If you were able to remember at least one thing, well, that is good. If you have found a bunch of new things, wonderful!

But if you struggle and you feel merged until your neck in the bog of routine… you are not alone!

There are times in our lives that we feel we are always learning something new: school, parents, church, neighbors, first job, second job…

However, after a while – and I am not meaning TIME here, just after something that happens in our lives – we start to not see anything new. We are doing everything in a mechanical way; maybe good, but not perfect.

So many movies, songs and books have explored this phenomenon, but instead of expecting a magical thing taking place, there are a few things we all can do.

• Just observe yourself with different eyes.
• See the magic in your own heart.
• Remember the best moments of your life, and bring those experiences in life today.
• Maybe you are not learning anything new, but new ways to do the same.
• See others with new eyes, appreciating things you missed noticing in them.
• GRATITUDE brings about the best in anyone, particularly during critical times.

My faith in others

A big surprise was the launch of new music by an old group, Abba. Most often, the new albums are a compilation of old songs, but this time, they broke the model… and one song touched many hearts.

I still have faith in you.

So, how much faith do you have in this person who has been along with you for many years?

They have probably failed again and again.

They have left you alone so many times!

They did things that made you think you couldn’t trust them.

But, they are still there with you…

And if you look behind, you will probably remember people who never failed you, they were always with you for some time and they never failed your trust, and yet, they are not with you anymore.

This song is about life with other people: a partner, a parent, a child, a friend…

This song is about going beyond trust; normally trust demands a proof, but faith is there. It is like a voice saying I know this person and I know they are with me; they will always be with me.

How much faith do you have in others? Have you lost your faith in other people for some reason? If so, what to do about that?

After all, what we all want is to have faith in those who are with us, and enable them to have faith in us.

Keeping calm…

During the Second World War, a slogan was launched that helped citizens to move on with their lives, despite the hostilities: KEEP CALM and CARRY ON. It comprises two affirmations with different intentions and an incredible effect.

At times of crisis – and that is what we are living – that slogan would be probably very useful, after all calmness has a deep effect on the self by enabling the person to clear their minds and understand what is going on. Maybe a solution is not at hand, but with comprehension, the person can plan, adapt and live better.

Particularly if the crisis is very strong and it turns into chaos, it is possible there is no solution. During chaotic times, the only possibility someone has is to be their own leader, to trust their own capacities and to create a team with whoever is around. Again, calmness plays a definite part, relieving much of the stress and anxiety, empowering. Besides, who wants to be part of a team of people who are not calm, particularly during turmoil?

But, as you are reading this, I am almost sure you are not there yet and the crisis we are all living is not to be labeled chaos. So, this is the training time and you can do a few things:

• Experience silence several times during the day.
• Meditate or contemplate.
• At the beginning of the day, dedicate some time for the self and experience deep calmness.
• At the end of the day, make sure you pack everything up, by putting a full stop to all that happened.
• If you have problems with someone, try and fix the bond between you.
• Be kind to yourself and others.
• Walk in the nature.
• Listen to soft positive music.
• Avoid bad news, without evading responsibility.
• Just be yourself and give space so that others can be themselves too.
• Keep calm, carry on.

Helping the self

It is a new concept for some, but self-care is IN… Hopefully it is not a fashion and people from next generations will be taking care of themselves more and more.

But self-care does not mean only something physical, there are many dimensions to be taken care including emotions, mental welfare and spirituality.

It means to book some time out of a busy schedule to give the self and so many people could think this is so selfish…

I have learnt many years ago, when I started my spiritual path – which has its origin in India – that the only way to help others is to help first the self, and the example of old sages who used to go to the forest and stay there for years absorbed in deep meditation or contemplation, and then they could go and help other people to overcome their own weaknesses.

You are the most important person and you should be very well. Take your time and learn how to take care of yourself.

When you accomplish that task, many people will be grateful.

How to help someone who is far from me…

During this pandemic, I have had many situations in which the people going through problems were far from me, physically, and the problems were very big.

Sometimes, I was able to talk with the person and give some comfort. Other times, I just talked…

And at other times, I’ve failed and probably, I’ve made it worse.

But there is something I am sure it works, ALWAYS: to send good wishes.

It may sound something… ethereal… and I don’t have proof it works, but we may all do a few experiments:

• Think of someone who is in need and who lives far from you. Think of that person in their best, with a big smile and much energy, and do that exercise during some time, at the same time (hour) and for the same length of time.
• When you talk with someone who is in trouble, before talking with that person, do the former exercise, seeing them in your mind in their best. Make sure you are talking with the person in their best moment…
• After talking with someone going through a bad period in their life, take some time out to wish the best to that person, in your heart.
• Don’t forget that you can only help others if you help yourself first, particularly if you are going through a similar scene in the play of your life. Meditate, empower yourself, study, talk with other people and then extend the hand of your ears and heart to others.

The last plane…

The images of the Khwaja Rawash airport during the evacuation in Kabul are still present in the minds of many. A few of us had friends or relatives there, but for most people the sensation has come from an overwhelming feeling of sharing with our fellow human beings, which made many feeling as if they were the ones in despair, trying to be evacuated.

I hope all goes well for the people who got to flee the country, for those who stayed back and my peaceful vibrations for those who couldn’t and their families.

Reflecting upon it, I understand that without realizing, many of us are going to have a last plane in life, a moment of decision so brutal and critical that will split our lives in two or more timelines. After it, you won’t be the same person anymore.

Maybe it was your marriage – it does not need to be something bad.

Perhaps when your first child was born… or when they left you.

Out of this reflection, I ask myself 3 questions:

• What does it happen when the last plane is available? There is pain coming due to the attachment to all that can’t be anymore, but many positive emotions emerge at the same time. The best would be to focus on the positive and let that heal the pain.
• Is it possible to prepare for that last plane? Some would argue that is what we have been doing in our lives previous to that event. It is as if we have been training for that moment. In this way, we can check and see if we are ready to leave ALL we have now and embrace a total new existence. It means skills and aptitude, but also attitude and awareness.
• So, am I ready for the last plane and if not, which training do I need to be better prepared?

One day, maybe out of the blue that last plane will come to take you, me and us away. It will take off and after that, we will be in a total different place… Until then, let’s keep training!

Angels and demons

At many religious traditions, good and evil are shown as two main forces, constantly fighting for dominance. Now, whether they are real beings or imagination, I think it is up to you to decide.

For me they are neither; for me they are stages of any human, stages that can take place in one day or along many years.

Yes, sometimes we are the angels and our eyes shine with love and peace. We are able to help so many people, even changing their lives.

Yes, sometimes we are the demons that torment others and even our own selves. We spread restlessness instead of peace and our decisions are based on envy or anger.

Most of the time this is not a conscious process – after all, I am sure the majority of people would choose to be an angel instead of a demon.

But if we are aware… if we are listening to our own mind and its effect in our life… if we are paying attention, then it is easier to minimize the form of a demon and empower the form of an angel.

So, next time you are losing patience with a relative, you are upset with another person at your work, you see someone in need with indifference or you are insulting others (at least in your mind), just remember the angel you are… and that is what you will become!

How heavy is your present?

Have you ever received a very heavy gift from another person? You would often enjoy, but many times you will feel annoyed while you would try to carry that around. It is possible would get broken.

What about your present (tense)? Is it light and shiny, or heavy and dull?

The situations are what they are, but our perception changes their weight. For instance a person can tell you how the weather is bad and another person would call it wonderful, even though the weather is the same for both of them.

By looking at the weather in a bad way, the person will experience negative emotions and it is possible that affects their health. Also, because the weather is bad, their social life will be affected and possibly even their job.

By looking at the (same) weather in a positive way, the person will experience constructive emotions, which maybe will affect (positively) their health. Perhaps because the weather looks good, their social life and their career will blossom too.

Now, there is a realistic optimism in which the person acknowledges the weather is bad, but that is not an obstacle for their health, social or work life. In fact, it becomes an interesting challenge and the individual has a chance to celebrate after overcoming it.

If you are feeling your present as a heavy burden, about to break the soul’s back, a few suggestions:

• Talk with someone who is more optimistic in relation to the present, but very realistic about it.
• Count your blessings; there are so many things for which you can be proud, happy or excited.
• Try to talk to yourself, reflect and understand why you are feeling like this in relation to the present.
• Meditation helps you to focus on the present and take maximum benefit.
• Remember: your present is a gift life has given you.

Building castles in future lands

What is the antonym of nostalgia, a longing for the past? As far as I know, there is no such a word, but unfortunately, it exists in terms of behavior.

I remember a few people who wanted to go to a special program in United States and they didn’t have the visa. Particularly one person who just went to order her passport called me asking for the weather at the place she was going in the US… (to which she didn’t have ticket, visa and not even the passport!)

An image I have in my mind: there are people who build castles in lands that don’t even exist, and they start to live there. As it may happen with nostalgia, they are probably frustrated with the their present and so the possibility of a future that is different than the present they are living makes them leave this place… without really leaving it, just an experience in her mind.

It is quite risky; after all, they have to work, take care of their children, their own health, to talk with friends and do all a person who must do in our society. People who live in these future castles sometimes are careless in relation to their present hut.

There is an even worse frustration as sometimes it happens that their imagined future is not what they were expecting. It may be totally different – a manor instead of a castle – or a maybe unexpected experience – can you imagine to CLEAN a whole castle??

If you really want to live in a castle one day, start with one brick today, another tomorrow… The future does not take place in our imagination but it will be the fruit of whatever we are sowing right now.

Do you live in the past?

Is it a fashion or the desire to listen to old music is growing more than it was expected? Just browse around internet and you will see it is a reality.

With the pandemic, nostalgia is in and not only in terms of music; many people can´t stop thinking of the old times of 50, 30 or even 5 years ago! By the way, I am listening to some wonderful songs of the past right now…

You know, if you really like those things of the past, why not? There is nothing bad about reliving some wonderful experience, memory or reinventing whatever you went through… as long as you don’t start living there.

Maybe you don’t like the present, but you do live NOW and when you try to live in the past, you are probably missing so many opportunities.

A deep reflection is that whatever I lived in the past that left such wonderful memory in my heart – and a song is playing, which used to be favorite of a person I won’t be able to see anymore, I haven’t even been able to say goodbye – I can still live now as memories of that wonderful person, her words and wisdom and her good wishes towards me flood my mind (not my eyes, not my eyes!).

Instead of going to the past, I bring the past to this time and live that beautiful energy in my life without delay; therefore it is like feeling her presence everywhere I go, because I am using those memories here. In this way, the past helps me to create an even better future in which I know she won’t be present, but part of my life will be her legacy.

The puzzle of our lives

I loved puzzles for a big part of my childhood. They used to help me deal with the situations I was going through, they stimulated my mind and they gave me an odd satisfaction when I was able to solve them.

And even when I was not able to solve them, I still felt so happy! After all, the effort itself gave me a new energy to do other things in life.

So… one way of looking at my life has been to see it as if it is a big puzzle. Sometimes, it requires patience; other times, determination. There are times I must take a break and other times, I have to work on it until completing it.

Puzzles have a few components to bear in my mind and maybe this will help you solving the puzzle of your life:

They have a very clear aim or objective. Although, its clarity is relative and many times it comes from reflection. What is your aim right now?

They have several pieces or clues, which don’t have meaning individually, but when you join them you are able to create a whole picture. Check for signs life has left you; it maybe a new opportunity, the loss of a chance or something someone spoke.

There is a method to solve. The method will help to glue the pieces together and create a meaningful picture at the end. How are you going to solve your puzzle?

Ah, you also need some reserved time and space… You have to create the proper environment so you can solve them faster. Which environment is the right one to dedicate and solve the puzzle of your life?

Good luck, I am sure you will be able to solve it and help others solving theirs.

You are a champion

Did you know you are a champion?

 

You have won innumerable battles and conflicts…

You have conquered hearts and brains, hugs and positions…

You have won over your own mind, defeating many useless and wasteful thoughts…

You have won over your own limitations, beliefs that have been limiting your power…

You have won over your emotions and you moved on, even when situations tried to prevent you...

 

Do you remember when you were over the edge, ready to fall over an abyss? You won!

Do you remember when nobody believed you? You won!

Do you remember when you couldn’t believe in yourself? You won!

Did you know you are a champion?

 

Keep on winning, the world needs, more than ever, champions like you!

A little magic trick to change situations

Changing things is not easy. Changing people is very difficult. Changing yourself…

Well, probably that is not easy either, but it is what you can do as you always have the possibility of changing the self.

And there is a little magic trick I can share with you: when you change yourself, particularly when you change your mindset, things change… OK, they don’t necessarily change, but let’s see an example.

You have a very difficult boss, one of the worse you have ever had! You are often arguing with them and you feel they don’t allow you to grow. You like the present workplace and position you have, salary is good, nice people…

So… if you would try to change your boss, what would it happen? Probably nothing, they maybe scold you for trying such a thing, even fire you.

Another option… you may try to change your job. However, besides it is hard to do in the present circumstances, are you sure you are going to have a better boss? No certainty here, right?

Let’s try a bit of magic! Start looking for good things about your boss: they are very well educated, in fact, their curriculum is really impressive, they connect very well with customers and they are a good family person (which is something important for you).

The problems you are having with him are not going away because of that, but they refer to your development and the way things work.

By changing your mindset, you ask yourself: Why don’t I help them to find a new job instead of fighting them? After a few hours browsing, you prepare a list of possible options, a very good profile for your boss and you send to as many companies as possible. After two months, old boss goes (for a very good position) and a new boss comes! Hope is back!

Other magic tricks that would be available in this case: you could go through training and get a better position in the same company and you could apply for another branch of the same company.

Check your problems and use this magic wand to solve them. Magic is available to all of us and the method is the same: instead of trying to change outside, reflect, see which changes you can do within and then implement.

Wisdom is a treasure

When you need something, you would have to buy or make it, which anyway would imply some expense.

What about those things you cannot purchase or make it, for instance, you need to have a harmonious relationship with others, a very good job or a better health.

Yes, you can buy a new house and in this way your family will be so happy… for a time.

Yes, you can always get another job by going through training and improving your curriculum, but… the sensation won’t last long.

Yes, you can go to doctors (you SHOULD go to doctors), but a big part of your health relies on your commitment and discipline, so… doctors are never enough.

That is the point in which knowledge is not sufficient and you need to go beyond what you know, into the realm of wisdom.

If good and excellent things are expensive in terms of money, also in life the attainment of a wonderful life is not cheap. If knowledge is like money, wisdom is a treasure from which you can get as much as you need.

With wisdom you are able to discern what the people around you really need and want from you, and you are also able to understand how to give them that experience.

Wisdom will help you realize your own professional needs in depth, so that the next job, or even this job, will satisfy you fully.

The way wisdom works; you will manage your health better.

How to get the key for that treasure? There are few things you can do:

• To meditate, contemplate or reflect in depth.
• To listen to others who have got what you need.
• To learn all the time from anyone and anywhere.

The challenge of real independence

Before being a teenager, the only thing I wanted was to be independent. I used to imagine myself making decisions about my own life in relation to career, work, personal life… but I didn’t imagine myself having to wash my own clothes, to cook my own food and, worse, to earn my own money!

The dream of independence is a strange fantasy in which a person only thinks of benefits, without their cost; still it is not bad. In fact, the idea of independence took me to where I am today and I do recommend anyone to exercise it.

I would like to give you two tips for a successful experience of independence.

A real tip is to be PATIENT with yourself and life in general. Your independence depends on several factors and it takes time for them to be ready for you, meanwhile it is good to feel INTERDEPENDENT, instead of dependent. It is much more than washing dishes once a week or going to the shopping for the house, it happens when you recognize the other’s independence, you respect it and you help them to develop it, which will help you in your own independence.

Second tip: be PERSEVERANT. Lots of obstacles will come your way, either because it seems life is conspiring so you don’t become independent or you are thinking you were not made for that and it is better to go back to your mum’s house. Just keep on going a bit more and you may set some dates in terms of aims to be fulfilled, which is quite helpful. Another thing that is helpful is to increase your capacity by attending a few courses, meditate more and changing your lifestyle.

Mind games

OK, check this video first: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tf0XBkpCnwI

Magic is mind blowing, because it is a mind game, deceiving the mind. However, even though you are not someone with those skills, you can be playing those games too… or being played.

When you try to sell something or you are convincing someone to do what they don’t want to do, that’s a mind game.

Let’s comprehend our mind, not the brain … we need to understand more about the intangible process that takes place within.

First, anything that happens outside is an input to your mind and, on the basis of your valuable experience; the mind will generate thoughts or emotions, ideas or feelings.

Besides the experience, the mind takes into account the present situations: environment, how the person is feeling, whatever is going on.

The game that plays in the mind comes from two main factors: either the experience does not apply to the present input or the situation is influencing negatively the mind.

Two examples:

• Let’s say you want to resume your friendship with another person, but by seeing them, your experience with that person emerges again and it is not positive. Even though you want to be friend again, your mind will tell you that is a waste of time because of what the other person did.
• Same example, but this time you are able to winning over your experience. Yet, the person is not attentive to you, they are focused on other things and they are doing things you don’t like; there again goes your intention to continue the friendship.

How to go beyond the games of mind? Just as in the video, the best thing is to UNDERSTAND…

• When you see the person you want to be friend again and you start remembering old experiences, understand they did happen, but you are willing to give another try, by opening the doors of your heart and mind again.
• Maybe the person is doing THAT THING that annoys you, so it is time to remember the reasons why you want to be friend with them again, which I am sure will be stronger than those things.

In fact, the biggest trick is that you are not a player in the mind games; you are the owner and the one who defines the game.

Giving up, or giving… up…

Many times in life we just give up: school, children, marriage, career, life…

It happens because we are tired or we realize this would not be what we wanted. An unwanted outcome is the sense or repentance: what would have happened if I went along with my school, career, and family? And the incredible sense of having done something wrong.

However there is another way. You can give… UP…

This means to keep on doing what you are doing, to stay with the people you are right now and to follow a similar routine, but with a different awareness.

Most of the problems are related to your perception of what others, situations and you are; you change that perception from the source, by changing your awareness, and the reality also changes. Maybe it is not 100%, but you will feel the difference when you start to relate to the world in with a different consciousness.

So, what are you waiting for? Give UP, without giving up… take care! 

Reasons to change

Why do we change? Change is a paradox: inevitable, but we keep on avoiding it.

Changes we generate come out of a need, often without been chosen. Now, during the pandemic, many people are changing professional careers due to their economic situation.

But changes may also come as an opportunity, and that is something we choose; for the same environment, people who are expert in telecommunication saw their live changes as they took advantage of what is happening and their own specialty.

Still, these points indicate an outside factor influences us to change. There is an alternative that comes from self-leadership.

It is the change we generate after a deep reflection.

It is the change we do not because we need or we are forced to do, but because we are convinced it is important.

It is the change that comes from the heart and we do out of love for the self, others or the environment.

It is the change we do so that we can be a better person, a better version of ourselves.

So, let’s be the leader of the self and change.

In the quest for a better world

It may sound frivolous to talk about a new word when this world – our world – is kind of crumbling down… But this is the best and the right time for it, because a new world can replace the old structure we lived for so long.

The basis of a better Earth comes from the idea that something is not quite right about the world we live. However, we often forget we are the ones responsible for this world as it is… that means until we change something in our mindset and deep behavior, whatever we create will turn to this again.

Maybe instead of looking for a building a better world, we should build a better ME. Not because I am not OK, but because I can be better.

As soon as I am better, naturally I will inspire a few others to improve too.

And those few will inspire other few… and maybe one day, that wonderful world will come up from this personal transformation.

 

What are you waiting to be the better version of yourself?

The essence of meditation

When there is a big problem you can’t resolve, it is common that you just let your mind fly a bit, beyond the problem…

When you are so happy that laughter cannot express it and you decide that, instead of sharing with others, you just let your thoughts fly very high…

When you are feeling so peaceful that your mind gets calmed and even reality seems to slow down…

Meditating is basically to abstract yourself from reality and turn your mind – which generates thoughts, ideas, feelings and emotions – towards something else.

By meditating you allow yourself to go out of the box you are at the moment and find other possibilities, other avenues to ride the chariot of your mind.

I have been meditating for almost 40 years and although I can name you at least 10 benefits and I can describe the method to meditating by heart, I still have to capture its essence every single day.

Because every day my mind tries to dive into the problems that come up in my life.

Every time I am happy, my mind generates so many thoughts on how to share that happiness with others.

Whenever I get some moments of peace, I want to go to sleep or just relax by watching or reading something.

To meditate may be a struggle, or a game in which you are the one who will be victorious. It depends on several factors, but with a good method, you will be able to control your mind.

However, the essence of meditation is not about controlling; it is about liberating and focusing. I have learned that, instead of controlling my thoughts and mind, I can free them from several subtle chains and I focus onto something powerful and beautiful.

When the mind finds solutions, pleasure or peace in that direction, meditation becomes natural, the struggle ends and you win this subtle game.

 

Do you want to meditate?

I recommend you go to Brahma Kumaris and check the raja yoga meditation.

What to forget, what to remember

Forgetting and remembering are two sides of the same coin: consciousness.

I am not talking here of oblivion where memories are erased or blurred as if they were behind a fog.

Nor do I speak of the memory as the obsessive thought that does not allow us to erase something from the mind.

I speak of the conscious act of recovering valuable memories, since along with them, virtues, values ​​and inner powers will arise. These memories can be the solution to a problem present at work, a conflict with another person or they can give rise to hope in the face of a serious health situation.

I speak of the conscious act of reducing guilt, both of oneself and of others; forget so much that we stop blaming. I'm talking about the conscious act of forgetting bad times with a person because you understand them and you know that we all go through bad days. I speak of the conscious act of instead of allowing negative memories, to strengthen the present wonder.

For this, do this simple daily exercise:

Think: What will I remember today that will bring into my life qualities or powers that I need so much?

Think: What are the alternatives I have to relate to a person, so that I forget bad moments of past interactions?

That will help you improve your quality of life and will also give other people an opportunity to improve in your eyes.

Religions and rituals

I never thought I had a religious experience, until many years late in my life, but still there was something that amazed me: Jesus Christ, who founded the Christian religion, was not a Christian…

Fast forward and I am exposed to a new notion in relation to religion by the simple word dharma. And it means much, much more than just religion: the lifestyle, a form of relating the others, a mission in life… In that sense, Christ was the first Christian.

That simply made so much sense! Religion is more than rituals and scriptures, priests and hierarchy; religion as dharma is how someone lives according to a set of principles and values, instead of how to pray or which cloth to wear.

And that applies in all aspects of our life. Let’s take for example our approach to the work: am I working just because of money or because of my diploma? Am I working according to my vocation and the energy it generates in my life?

Much of our lives we just live as a ritual… it is time to identify our dharma and align our reality with it.

A simple life in which treasures are…

If you think of treasures the image is… treasures! Money, gold coins, a masterpiece…

But when your life is simple, a treasure can be:

• A beautiful sunset.
• A wonderful garden.
• Lots of smiles around you!
• A challenging fulfilling project in your work.
• A healthy relationship.
• To have more than enough, but no excess.
• The chance to live again.
• An old computer or cell phone that works very well.
• To be a mother (HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY!).
• To be someone’s child.
• To be… Just to be…

Because when you are able to appreciate these intangible treasures, you will feel you are really a billionaire!

A simple legacy

In the future, people will be talking about this time: the lockdown and fear; perhaps of the vaccine, or the socio-political situation. But it would be great if we were able to leave such a legacy and that is what would be remembered.

Personally, I feel we are generating something special through changes in our behavior and we are leaving a legacy of simplicity.

Yes, it does not sound too fancy or too special, but there has been an amazing effect on people as they had to live on basic things. Sometimes, it was due to the lack of resources or the lockdown itself, but most people I know, they have learned to live with less, and they are appreciating the change.

However, it is not really less, because when you live in simplicity, whatever you have is so valuable and it is there to be used or enjoyed. Simplicity does not mean scarcity or lack of prosperity; it means focus and gratitude. It means a deep sense of contentment.

One of the videos circulating around was a couple living with a 4-year old; they were able to build a slide in their small apartment for their daughter! Their simplicity enabled them to overcome the sense of stress, to enjoy and to have fun!

 

What is your experience?

Are you enjoying this simple life, and if so, how to keep living like this?

A new economy?

Years ago the term New Economy[1] was in and it referred to the huge possibility of change by the use of INTERNET and in fact we are seeing this effect already, accelerated by the pandemic.

However, there is a, let’s call it, a novel economy – an economy which emphasizes simplicity, less expense and a circular economy[2] (recycling, reusing, etc.).

I would like to focus on simplicity, a quality that changes the perception of consumes and production, two of the axes of a society from the economic point of view.

It changes the perspective of a flower, a plant, a loaf of bread, water and air… When you live on the basis of simplicity the minimum is often the maximum.

Even though it wouldn’t stimulate the gigantic monster created by an economy of consumerism, it would give relief to people and the environment, and probably would bring more equality in our society. Eventually, I am sure it would improve the economy in a very sustainable way.

In an individual, the effects are extremely clear: not only you don’t spend too much, but you are able to save and to have an aim in life different than buying something somewhere; there is a change in the effort you make for living and how you see your life.

Simplicity is like an earthquake that destroys anything that is extra, leaving what is really important.

---

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_economy

 

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circular_economy

 

The role of imagination during a crisis

One of the weirdest things happening during the pandemic is the increasing value people are giving to imagination. We see that by how much people are engrossed in watching television series, movies and a big etcetera.

But is it all?

In fact, imagination when it is focused gives power to people and make them realize other aspects of reality.

For instance, a wooden box is… a wooden box. But you can use it as:

• A way to keep memories that are important to you.
• A ladder to change a bulb.
• A place to keep old school books.
• A piece of decoration.

When a crisis comes, it means much of the present structure that helps you to live will go down. By using your mind as a wonderful tool, you can look – or re-look – at your life and give a different meaning to each component.

• You can look at a relationship and rethink it, by seeing it in a different way. Maybe this person who is always giving you trouble may be the one who can help you in this new reality created by the crisis.
• It is possible you won’t have work right now, what is a wonderful opportunity to learn something new, to change your career.
• And what about that nosy neighbor? Maybe it is time to invite them for a lunch or something…

Don’t deny yourself the capacity to imagine… It will help you to focus and refocus life, live and relive…

Stop binge-watching your life

I was reading a very clarifying article on binge-watch[1][2] and it struck me how much it is related to the present time, even though it is an old article, in terms of IT.

It struck me that people are binging their own lives, not only TV shows… Maybe I am doing it too!

Time for reflection: how many episodes have you been watching, of your own life?

Let’s pause here… I just ask you to pause watching your life in pieces and instead focus on the relevance of every scene you have been living...

Because different than TV shows, this is life, this is something alive and dynamic, and it cannot be restricted by a script.

Just pause… and understand the relevance of you reading this article.

Your present job.

The present family situation.

The last time you were with a friend.

The pandemic.

Your hobby.

New projects.

ALL… they are not for binging, they are alive, they are to be enjoyed each one in itself and as a whole.

 By doing this reflection you will be able to focus more, to experience more success and plenitude.

---

[1] binge-watch: to watch several episodes (= separate parts) of a television series or programme, one after another.  https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/binge-watch

[2] How To Stop Binge-Watching From Ruining Your Life, Press Play On Your Life, Not Next On Netflix, by Niklas Göke.  https://betterhumans.pub/how-to-stop-binge-watching-from-ruining-your-life-cd0e92f51750