A reflection on this birthday

Today is my birthday. Actually, there are two birthdays! No, no kidding let me explain...

The first birthday celebrates the day I was born. However, I notice that as the years go by, thoughts and feelings become more and more, well, corporeal and conversations begin to revolve around doctors and medicine, hospitals and fatigue, illnesses and miraculous, or not so miraculous, cures and, of course, do you remember So-and-So? Just died!

But I have a second birthday and I dare to think that you too: the day I discovered I was different from what I thought I was. In my case, on the day of my birth, I entered a beautiful house, in a beautiful neighborhood of São Paulo. There I learned something completely different: I found out that it was not this body, but a spiritual being.

That impacted a lot on personal, social and professional life, because while the body is extremely limited, the soul is a flying bird that never stops and helps me to look at my body in a different way. It helps me not to let myself be limited, forgetting how amazing it is to be one more year on Earth.

How fascinating is that I solved the obstacles that at one point prevented me from reaching to this point. I GOT IT! And that is fundamentally important, because instead of talking about diseases, doctors, etc., I prefer rather to speak in what I have achieved, the accumulated wisdom that I had the opportunity to use, the growth and creativity that never ends.

Today, I celebrate being wiser than last year, being better than yesterday and looking forward at the future with a child’s eyes, always looking for the gift that life is still going to give me ...

Today, I celebrate having as many friends as you, people who inspired me and whom I inspire, people who are not allowed to stop no matter how high the mountain of obstacles ... For me it is a happy birthday, and for you, a happy reflection.

About stages of change

Change in nature takes place gradually. In fact, I am not sure there is any sudden change that happens in a natural environment. Well there are disasters, but it could be said they are also part of the change process.

But we, sweet humans, by not being content with that, we started something called civilization and we change everything. Yes, we change the change.

More precisely, we started many centuries ago to manipulate the pace and stages of change, according to personal or collective convenience, creating the times we live nowadays, when we are not sure what will happen next or how.

There are basically four stages in change and all goes through these.

Change is a non-creative name for the first stage. Sometimes I call it Transition, and it indicates soft and subtle changes. In a whole process like the yearly seasons, everyday there is a change in the temperature, humidity and wind, but we are not aware as they are very subtle.

Besides, they are expected. For instance, if the present season is spring, we are expecting that as time passes by, temperature increases, at least after a certain inflection point. And we are ready for that.

For us, we have maybe tens or hundreds of changes in just one day: clothes, hunger-food, hair style, smiley-serious, humor, opinion, tastes, etc. The key here is we are expecting them, so they don’t shock and many times we are not even aware of them.

But at some point there is a crisis. During the year, rainstorms come, snow falls and the weather becomes quite unpredictable. Crisis is a type of change that is unexpected and normally disruptive, quite often is considered as negative – although we could talk about good crisis when all of a sudden, during winter, the Sun heats our day and hearts.

It is necessary to provide the time and space so that the next season will replace the present one.

I don’t know anyone who is not afraid of a crisis, which name by the way in Chinese does have a character with the meaning of danger, but it is part of the stages of change, there is no way to avoid it without avoiding the whole change, and that is very difficult to do.

We need a certain level of preparedness to overcome the mean effects of a crisis. For the worst case scenario, leadership is necessary to help a person or any collective to come out of it. It is important to keep in mind this is necessary, because only by going through a crisis you can move on with the change.

Another point that distresses people is the fact that changes in our human society don’t happen in order, as in nature. That means, crisis can come and go, and come again during the same change process…

The worst part (apparently) of any change process is chaos, when the lowest or highest temperature takes place, or when floods or drought happens. It is totally unmanageable and besides going for a shelter, nobody can do much.

Not even by excelling in preparedness or the best leader in the world can help when chaos comes, and we, humans, try to prevent them. And yet, it is a stage we all have to go through if we want to come out of it and reach the last and final stage.

Transformation, also called metamorphosis, is that point when there is no resemblance between how things were at the first stage and how they ended. Try to explain to a little child that those leafless and dead trees will be soon blossoming with life… It is impossible to imagine it is true, but it is, because after chaos, after the worst part of a change process, when all looks like lost, life comes back again.

As humans, we don’t embrace transformation as we should. After all, to reach that point we do have to suffer in a way, passing through several stages – and different than nature, repeating those innumerable times – until one day we are transformed.

But we should embrace it, as we should embrace the chaos, crisis and the little transitions in life, because they all give us something much more valuable. See, nature will never transform something into another thing that is worse than the previous form.

Transformation always means good. Excellent. Incredible. It means our lives that reached their worst point and look deprived of energy are now totally different and we have another chance to live.

So, instead of fighting against the processes embedded in changes, it is better to learn about them, prepare yourself and use them for the good of many.

Has anyone seen 2016?

Some would accuse it of being the worst year, but the reality is that it was so fast, very few could reflect on it. Properly reflect on it.

What is going on? Some claim the Earth is speeding its rotation, others say something else. Reality is: our lives are accelerated.

There are many more things to do at the same slot of time than a persona sixty years ago. With the technological facilities, we have increased our actions in so many ways.

This is why, we need to stop a bit and think of what really happened. Maybe it will be difficult to think of what happened in the world, but at least we can make up some time to think of the self and understand my own process.

In this why, we will be able to feel the year that flight away and be suitably thankful in relation to all the benefits received and all lessons learned.

Lights of Christmas

If you would overfly the world, during Christmas, you would notice a wonderful Christmas tree with so many lights all over the place, in the shape of a beautiful blue globe.

And you would be able to hear the children’s laughter and see the wonder in their faces when they open their gifts. You would be able to catch the tender feelings of adults of any age and the happiness merged in the giving and taking that happens around that time.

But you would also see so many dark spots in the planet. Yes, a few of them are people who don’t believe necessarily in this tradition, but celebrate somehow in their own ways, the hope and joy and unity in their lives.

However, there are some dark spots that look even darker, because even though they do like Christmas, the tree and the lights, they do like hope and joy and unity, they don’t have neither of them…

And you would wonder “how come there are so many lights if so many people can’t have them?” And in your mind, you would visualize the whole world covered with lights.

For those who don’t have a Christmas tree, their light would be coming from their eyes and spirit, from their hearts and smiles. And you would be able to see hope embracing them once more, joy coming into their places unannounced and mostly welcome.

And you would see with your own eyes shining like a Christmas tree, their hearts uniting like magic and the sorrow, at least for one night, flying away scared of so much light…

And because all of that is happening in the subtle screen of your mind, you wouldn’t need to fly to do that. You can do it… right now…

Merry Christmas for a world full of light!

One week for Christmas, what to do?

Many people are totally focused in gifts. Other people have to conclude their works for the year as fast as possible. Of course, Christmas is coming.

The most universal Christian festivity is approaching very fast with colored packages, bulb lights, special movies, plays, songs, etc.

And yet, instead of getting caught into the frenzy of too many things, it should be a time of experiencing and giving happiness. This is a unique chance to go beyond the present situations and enjoy life and others, with no reason, just because we are all there.

It is the time to enjoy nature – if your weather allows for that – and talk to your elders, to the children and those equal to you. And if weather blocks you at the door, just smile and enjoy a nice warm cozy time within your house.

Maybe, it is the time to call that person who created so many problems for you or who have mistreated you. It is a time to forgive and ask for forgiveness, to give a hand and to receive help from many.

It is a time to open your heart… A bit more… Dancing on Christmas rhythm, when the impossible turns to be quite probable.

Because after Christmas… Well, it will be after Christmas and all magic will be over. The magic is now.

Sincerity may help your relationship

There are probably two killers of any relationship, common to any people no matter where they live or to which culture they belong to: routine and sincerity.

Particularly it is interesting on how this high praised and needed virtue can be a relationship killer. Honesty is fundamental, but in its heavy metal version, where honest words taste like bullets and hearts are destroyed, sincerity turns to be lethal.

And yet… Well, by studying virtues, I have notice they cannot work by themselves and they need to pair in the right order. For instance, humility can make people turn losers in life, but with courage or self-esteem, it helps bosses to be effective, human oriented and very effective.

At times when lying is so common and socially accepted in many cultures I know, at least at some level, an honest person is extremely valuable. Sincerity is even more treasured, as the person will have the courage to say whatever is in his mind… with kindness.

Probably the most spiritual and kind man I know, he is able to make you realize your mistakes without really telling them. He is open and trusting, and yet he is clear about his thoughts and feelings and don’t act against them, which is the core of sincerity.

Without sincerity, a relationship will be like a cliff hanger: you are really not sure about what will happen next…

Kindness, gentleness and mercy help sincerity to become an asset to the soul, enabling the individual to break walls that prevent an open exchange and build bridges that strengthen the relationship.

How to create an opportunity?

Normal belief is that opportunities just happen. During the 60’s, people start to get their lives into their own hands and a whole generation started to believe they could create an opportunity, but decades and many crises later, the old normal belief is probably ruling the world and people are feeling in general they don’t have other ways to overcome their situations.

It is true that marches are not working as they used to work before and most attempts to create something – a company, a new life, a new marriage – end in failure. Leaders are scarce and life is being lived on a day-to-day basis. But there is hope.

Yes, there is.

You probably have heard about SWOT Analysis. A little outdated, it is still crucial to get results in a fast way by identifying the main strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats.

From that perspective, you usually consider an opportunity as a situation or circumstance that may happen in your favor. But, by working on SWOT on a personal level, I have found out that an opportunity is (a situation to which you need) a strength that is still potential. In other words, you can create an opportunity by investing more time on some of your potentials.

It makes sense: instead of just focusing in your strengths, struggling with your weaknesses or fighting with possible threats, focus on that potential you know you have: maybe it is a skill you seldom use, or perhaps it is a quality others appreciate in you, but you normally don’t use it in a productive way.

Reflect.

Understand that potential, hidden behind many layers of other beliefs.

Invest time and energy to make the potential a reality and use it in life, turning an opportunity as part of your strengths, in a way.