Discovering that part of yourself that is hidden from others

Johari Window: exploring the hidden parts…

 

You have a secret!

Maybe the reason you have it is because you consider it so valuable, you don’t want to share, at least not to everyone and not until this moment; which is OK, after all, treasures are to be kept. They are an object of legend! Right?

I give you an alternative. Find the right moment (soon, please!) and show that talent you have, what you have been studying or the wonderful discovery you are not revealing to others.

In fact, the more you expose your treasures, the more you will develop them.

However, there are secrets you don’t tell others because of some type of fear. What are they going to tell me if they know this?

If you really want to develop a good relationship with other people, those secrets can turn into an obstacle. There are a few options for you:

• Find the RIGHT MOMENT, that instant people will value what you have. It is true particularly in relation to talents or skills.
• Generate a space of dialogue and talk to those people, open your heart. Before doing that, take some mercy balm in the form of a nice book with encouraging words or a song that will remind you how great you are. This is specially for those secrets that can harm a relationship.
• In both cases, I suggest you to meditate before doing any of those things. Meditation will empower you.
• If people hurt you because what you have shown or told them, don’t cry. The meditation will help you to not get into despair and something good you can do is to remind yourself THAT IS MY TREASURE. As they didn’t recognize its value, it is time to look for other people who will value it as much as you do.

There may be many more reasons for you to keep things hidden from others, but I would like to highlight two more:

• Self-doubt. Yes, you have that treasure, but you are not sure it is so interesting or others need it. The best thing for that is to talk with someone you trust and work on what to do about it.
• Maybe OTHERS haven’t acknowledged you have that treasure. Well, that hurts! You have already shown them, you have talked to them and you have posted it everywhere, but people seem to ignore it or at least they don’t give the value you think it should receive. Well, in that case, a talk with experts in the area of your treasure will clear your mind in relation to others’ reasons. After that, you can plan what to do to make others appreciate that wonderful treasure.

Discovering that part of yourself that is hidden, but others do know it

Many years ago, I came in contact with the Johari Window model. It was such a realization!

For those who don’t know it, I strongly suggest you to research on that.

The model comes from the understanding that our qualities, talents, potentials and everything that is valuable for us (I will be calling this our treasure) can be distributed in 4 different areas of a matrix:

An area that is known by you and others. Most people know that you have that treasure in yourself and it is the thing you can put down in your CV without thinking. It is natural and that gave you your job position or your friends.

Another area is that in which your treasure is known by others, but for some reason, you don’t know it. It is often due to self-doubt or the lack of self-esteem, but others recognize you for more than what you think you are. Good managers and friends will help you to develop that part of yourself.

The opposite is in another quadrant of the same matrix; you know your treasures and others don’t. It can generate frustration, but if you manage it well, it will create surprise to others that you do have that skill!

The last quadrant is the most mysterious as it corresponds to that part of your treasure that neither you or others know. Although many will consider this a problem for the self, it is in fact the guarantee all of us have that we can always change. There is always a potential to be explored and new experiences to be lived, no matter our age or condition.

Explore it!

But I would like to work on those parts that are hidden. We may call them potentials or seeds and for some reason they are invisible, at last for some people, maybe ourselves.

First, why are there things others see about us that we can’t see?

OK, there are lots of BAD stuff others see that we don’t, but again, I would like to focus on those POSITIVE things: our ability to crack a joke when things are tense, the fact we cook gnocchi very well, our talent with kids or the fact we smile, even when things are going bad.

As per my experience, it means we are missing our own greatness… it can be because of self-doubt or just very negative thoughts that as horrible landlords evict positive sensations from our minds.

The solution may not be easy, but it is healing: talk to other people. Talk more.

Learn from them what they see from you. Yes, some things won’t be nice to hear, but others will be ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL.

And believe it over those horrible landlords… You and I, and everyone, have so much more inside that comes to the eyes, even our own.

Life imitates your mind

A powerful video came to me the other day: The power of thought - One of the greatest riddles of science. It came in the right moment for me and it was a reminder on how powerful our mind is.

In reality, we live what our mind wants us to live.

For instance, we can be at a sunny place, surrounded by very nice people and with no troubles. And yet, we can be unhappy, our mood is off or we are envious of a friend of ours who just got promoted.

Now, because of that negative state of mind, we will start to be afraid of the sunlight, to remember the bad things those people have done and some far away crisis will show up in our mind as if it is real.

The opposite is true: we can live at a place in which the sunlight shows a few times a year, we are surrounded by people we don’t know or we don’t like, and we have a list of problems. And yet, we can be happy, have a good mood and congratulate from the heart our friend who just got promoted.

The reason is that a positive state of mind will make us ignore the bad effects of the lack of sunlight, we will notice or remember good things about people around us and we will be able to handle our problems in a more method or intuitive way.

Yes, all depends on the state of our mind.

Maybe, we can’t change life, but we can change our mind by meditating or using other techniques, and in this way, we will perceive life in a different way.

It is quite possible that life will change too. Try it!

The creation of legends

Once upon a time, there was a person who wanted to be better. Much better. So, one day, a great wonderful day, he or she departed from their zone of comfort and decide to travel through that pathway they never thought they could.

Many trials and obstacles came on their way: dragons and dangerous men, lions and creatures that should only exist in the imagination.

And then one day, a great wonderful day, they reached their destination, and it was all they thought it would be.

 

When you start to change yourself, ignoring all odds against you, you start to become a hero, a heroine, a true legend.

It is a long journey and not an easy one, but with an excellent attitude, a powerful awareness, lots of courage and many tools, you will end this change process, and your objectives will be fulfilled.

 

So, every time your energy is down, fear is knocking hard at your door or things don’t go the way you would expect, remember: it is just part of the journey.

You are THE hero, THE heroine.

You are the legend that will be told in the future.

Can we start all over again?

Our civilization has generated a dependency on things and people who are just an image or voice, so imagine if that is cut.

In fact, we had a small rehearsal of a few years with the COVID pandemic. I will give a personal example.

Every year I used to travel to India; it was something very valuable for my personal growth and I used to enjoy the interaction with people from so many countries. And all of a suddenly ¡it was OVER! For two years I had to just sit and miss being there…

Eventually, the travels for foreigners resumed to India, but I keep thinking if that was it: if our civilization finally reach to a halt and we had to live in a totally different civilization.

Because I don’t think the world will end as it becomes extinct; I keep imagining a world that had to reset itself.

A few thoughts on that:

• Instead of travelling to other places, we may have to enjoy and go deep on the places we live. It is an interesting way to see our reality in a different way.
• Maybe we won’t have internet to communicate with others, but this is the chance to communicate with the self, God and even nature.
• It is possible our present comforts won’t be present, so we will need to comfort ourselves in different ways by meditating, praying or just enjoying nature.
• We won’t have our favorite foods! So, we will have to make whatever is available into our favorite food.

And the list goes on… The important thing is if someday the end comes, remember you can always reset your world.

Running away from the world, without… running away!

Have you ever had the desire to just RUN AWAY FROM EVERYTHING?

Maybe on a very cloudy Monday or after a horrible meeting?

Perhaps when you felt betrayed by another person or you lost that thing you liked so much?

Or it was some bad news about your health, or…

Many years ago, a friend of mine did exactly that. The last time I saw him, it was entering some country and he was in very bad shape – burnout was starting to show! Eventually, he left everything behind and started a new life.

However, fast forward a couple of years and he was back to his old life…

Running away is not a final solution. It is possible we go, carrying with ourselves the reasons of distress.

So, here is an idea: maybe, we can run away… without running away!

For instance, when I meditate, it is as if I go somewhere else, very far from here. That is the feeling and the perception, it works because it is meaningful.

These are a few things I know people have done to run away, without running away:

• To work as a volunteer during their holiday period.
• To take one year out to change career.
• To travel to a jungle, to learn more and to enjoy nature.
• To be part of a group of people and to do things that are completely different than their careers or normal life.
• To learn another language.

 

So, next time you think about running away, ask yourself: what can I do to experience something meaningful that is nothing to do with my current life?

Religion and spirituality: reflecting and living

We need a religion, so that we can see life under a different light. Religion shows that which is invisible as something you can live in your life: God, love, peace…

We also need spirituality as it is a background that can adapt to any reality: family, work, health…

Some could say spirituality is the feeling behind all the religious practices.

Lately, things have changed; in the past few years, many people started to dissociate themselves from religion and live their own spiritual pathway.

Other people have left spirituality behind and they live religion as a series of rituals or an obligation.

So, what to do? Live both as complements or just live one of them?

As times are getting rough and the world is spiraling down, we do need something that is not related to the situations and circumstances. We need that invisible energy and that powerful feeling.

If you are having this type of doubt or your life is not as you would like it to be, there is an easy solution to discern about what to do: live your own spirituality.

By starting from the background, you can understand your role in life and what would be the best life for you.

Reflect on that.

Live it.