Self-transformation: is that easy?

At so many places, people are talking about self-transformation as if it is the easiest thing anybody can do. Maybe not so much a complete self-transformation, more a constant advertisement of the possibility of change: Easy, very easy change.

I am in a self-transformation path and I should tell you it is that easy… and yet, so difficult!

The easiness comes from the fact real transformation is often going back to a natural state of life, and what is easier than being natural? A big part of a transformation process is to get rid of the unnatural parts of a personality and lifestyle.

The difficulty comes from getting rid of something so unnatural that has turned into natural due to its use.

For instance, a common aspect of self-transformation is a big change in the routine: getting up earlier, including exercises in the routine, starting to meditate, etc. In fact, all of these are natural, I assure you, but after a while of getting up late, not doing exercises and not meditating, all of these must be relearned.

Easy and difficult… that’s the challenge!

So, if you want to make a big change in your life…

1. Understand what you are going to change and how.
2. Develop the awareness of how natural is that state – a retreat, for instance, can help that realization.
3. Walk your path with that awareness and whenever things don’t go as planned or desired, just remember you are going back to a natural state.
4. Don’t struggle with your own inner resistance; instead, develop resilience by meditating, studying or other methods.

Good luck with your self-transformation!

Victory or defeat

Victory or defeat is a relative perception. An example is given by Peter Drucker, the famous consultant and guru, about a leader who overstepped his faculties and tried to get advantage of a situation. It was clearly unethical and Drucker shows how the leader got his victory, only to turn into a horrible defeat a few years later and his leadership ceased to be considered magnificent.

In a very recent spiritual class, I was touched by a point that stated a short-term defeat can be a long-term victory.

Common people often don’t think in these terms - victory or defeat - but that’s our lives: “I have got this job”, “I lost that client”, “My friend stopped talking to me”, “My child got the best marks at college”, and so on.

Sometimes we win.

By working on our awareness, we are able to take the maximum of our victories in such a way that we can win again in the future. Besides, we may inspire others to win and, last thing, if for any reason our victory meant a defeat for another person, we can help the other one to feel OK, process what happened and be victorious next time.

Sometimes we lose.

• We can always do alchemy and convert defeat into victory by:
• Learning a powerful lesson that empowers the self for the future.
• Imbibing a few useful qualities like humility, which otherwise wouldn’t come to our lives.
• Changing defeat into a step closer to victory, as there is always a valuable experience that comes with defeat.

Translating that into our lives:

• “I have got this job.” I will work in a very effective way, being aware that I am inspiring others too. If, for any reason, someone I know lost an opportunity like this, I will find a time to talk with the person and see how to help them.
• “I lost that client.” It is time for deep reflection, to understand what happened, maybe to talk with a friend, my boss or a coach about it. And move on! There are more clients out there.
• “My friend stopped talking to me.” I will make some time to try and talk to them, by using honesty and kindness. Meanwhile, I will send them best wishes and positive thoughts.
• “My child got the best marks at college.” I will celebrate along with them, but I will be clear my love for them is not conditioned to whatever happened in their lives; I love them as they are.

I wish you the best victory, a real victory.

Overcoming the effect situations of high-impact

Two scenes come to my mind. The first one was when I was still a child and I broke my arm while practicing judo; my master at the time did not handle the situation well and I was not treated as I should have been. When I finally went to a doctor, many days later, I was told that it was too late and that I would forever have trouble doing certain movements.

Another scene was in my late teens; I was just coming to Brahma Kumaris, this wonderful spiritual path that I have been following for almost 40 years. A teacher was giving a class and she was a psychologist, so she shared a concept unknown to me until that point, related to the impact of situations with a high emotional impact. I experienced such clarity that many of my problems up to that moment (and in the future as well) started to make sense and it became easier for me to find solutions.

I mention these two scenes because they exemplify a lot of what a trauma is: the encounter of a person with a high-impact situation. There are several examples:

• Physical, as in the case of my arm.
• When you lose the job on which you depend so much, a financial trauma.
• Relational, in the case of the death of someone or the dissolution of a family.
• Emotional, which can come from an experience of abandonment.

However, the question here is how to overcome these high impact situations as they cannot be avoided (most of the time). But there is nothing that really prevents us from handling their effect.

From my previous narrative, I would suggest two things:

The first thing to consider is to get help from someone who can really cooperate in the work of relief and healing.

Second, reflect and understand the effect of this on life, particularly habits that can emerge and affect life negatively.

By doing this, you can initially alleviate the impact of the situation, process what happened and, consequently, begin a healing path, transforming the trauma into a learning experience.

Science and superstition: which one?

With the pandemic, many things took place at the same time and I have been observing for some time a struggle between science and superstition, a word I am using here in its higher form, in the minds and decisions.

One of the reasons science should win this battle is that it relies on experiments and those take time, while superstition is only observation, which is fast but not entirely reliable. There is also a subtle reality: the hesitance by scientists to accept that which cannot be proved; in this way, scientists and those who believe in science close the doors for many people to try to believe in what they say.

I consider myself a man of science and I prefer to check things before believing them; that’s the main reason I am vaccinated and I believed in the invisible virus.

However, we shouldn’t dismiss superstitions so easily. After all, they come from a long lineage of culture, religion and tradition, and any aspect of that comes also from observation and experiments.

I am following a spiritual path and I also believe in things like soul and God, things that are very unscientific. They also come from observation and experiments, and I experience benefit all the way.

How to conciliate both sides?

One suggestion is that both sides should be a little more open to the other as both can complement each other.

Science people could at least accept not everything can be proved even though, they exist. Let’s say we talk about theories, so there could be a category, such as IDEAS that congregate all that takes place and cannot be easily (if ever) checked.

In the same way, those who believe in things that have been taught as per their culture, religion or traditions, could at least try to open their minds for science, by trying to understand statistics, theories, experiments, and many other things that characterize the scientific effort.

I do believe when we unite these two different and valid sides of human kind, humanity will have taken a high jump.