Developing your communication capacity

It is amazing how we humans have found ways to communicate. We can write, speak, show our face, send symbols or even invent a language. We can talk to someone on the other side of the planet with less than a second relay; we can even see that person.

Books, articles, plays, movies, blogs, vlogs... What else do we need to tell others the message that is inside us?

And then... we have problems to communicate with our friends, partners, children, parents, neighbors, co-workers, customers, suppliers, bosses, rulers, etc. Isn't it a contradiction?

The main reason behind it is that when you have to communicate with someone you are in relationship, that communications changes its shape completely, so you need different skills to have success in your communication. For instance, if you are going to talk to an audience who is watching you via Skype, you don't need to move much around (which would damage your webcast) and, yes, you don't even have to dress up so much! But if the audience is just in front you, well, that is another story.

So, let's talk about four skills that can help you when you must have a close communication, both in your work and personal:

• General communication abilities. First of all, you do need to know how to transfer your message according to your public. You have a big advantage here, as you know your public. Just let that message reach them in such a way they can grasp it and use it for further actions. One big disadvantage you have with this kind of people is that THEY KNOW YOU! So, you can't say things you are not doing, otherwise they won't receive the message - they would sneer over it. Before giving the message, check if you are yourself the message.
• Are you listening? Our languages have wisdom in it, one of them is the difference of verbs HEAR and LISTEN. You won't hear if you have some medical problem, otherwise, anyone can hear. But listen... that requires a refinement in the way you deal with other people around you. To listen to someone does not mean become dumb, but let the other express herself or himself, and you are able to empathize with whatever is said. It is not just understanding, it is more than that - the other's speech will turn into an experience for you. For developing that skill, you need to develop your own empathy, what will be covered in a further post. By then, make effort to let the other speak, let him or her tell their tale and try not to process it. Accept it into your heart, and nod from time to time...
• Oops, a lecture... Stage fright! It is one of the worst fears, especially if you are in a position or profession where you have to address more than one person at a time, trying to convince them all about your message. Add to that the fact that they know you, so you must be careful whatever you talk to them. But, remember the big advantage you have: you do know them. Try to focus your message at the essence, add some stories and engage your audience with it. Ask questions, ask their opinion. As a good friend told me, "make them the protagonists of your lecture."
• Your mouth in your arms. Your body speaks. Loudly. We all know that - we all know when someone is angry, upset, cheerful or sad just by looking at their faces, arms or the position of their legs. It is one of the first communication skills we get as we need that a lot to relate to our family, especially when words are not our strong point. Watch your body. Ask someone to film you or put a mirror ahead, so you can see yourself when you talk. But don't try to hide your feelings or emotions... Be genuine about it as the best way to develop that skill is to say what your body is talking.

With these skills, you can enhance the way you communicate and have a better experience relating to others.