Sunday, May 12, 2024

If you do envy someone, what to do?

I don’t like the topic of envy or jealousy, but it happens to all of us. I would like to explore envy in the context of personal success, and what to do to rectify or to prevent its negative effects.

 

All of us want to be successful. It is natural and it doesn’t matter our way of life, just like nature, we will look for success. However, there are different types of success, as you know, and I would like to talk about 3 categories which can create some negative feelings within the self.

One type of success is quite superficial: a person reaches a goal and objective. Most of the times, success means going BEYOND those aims. However, it may not be possible and yet, the neighbor/cousin/former boss got that!! It can create a feeling of disappointment or disheartenment. The solution is to go back to school, that is, to understand what is the lesson to be learnt, learn and move on.

Another type of success is to get it through other people. It happens to parents, children, siblings and even bosses: others are successful and the person feels they are successful. It is a very special and pure sensation, something close to selflessness and it enables the individual to move forward. The only problem is the sense of an empty nest, particularly when the effect of that success by proxy fades off. Create a good life along with others’ success and there will be a personal feeling of achievement.

The last category of success may be called a holistic success, which means to be successful in all ways possible: spiritually, in terms of work and family, as a personal fulfillment and more. It is the sense of success of having done a wonderful job in life and nothing else remains to be done, it is pure satisfaction. There is nothing lacking in that type of success, but it is possible others are not so satisfied. I have seen people renouncing their dreams because of others’ feelings. The solution is to talk more with others and share some of the success with those people, reassuring them about their importance.

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