How to manage unhealthy relationships

I like to think of a relationship as something that when it is healthy enriches all sides and gives them the feeling of greatness. However, it is not always the case.

Let’s compare with one of the main sources of health, food: we should always be healthy if we eat healthy food, but sometimes we do eat a broccoli (kidding!) here and there, that is, we eat something that can make us feel bad. In the same way, relationships are a means of improvement, but sometimes, we do have a relationship with someone, or maybe just a phase of that relationship, which can make us feel bad.

How can we manage this type of situation? Of course, if what you have eaten was some rotten food, you will have to go to a hospital; toxic relationships also require extreme measures. But what about the flu-type relationship?

The first thing you can do is to reflect on the relationship. Identify what you are getting from it and what the other people are getting from you. Not money or a nice house, neither a beautiful family nor a wonderful career, but those things that touch your heart and head. Those things that change you.

If the reasons of the relationship are strong enough to keep it, find a cure for the illness. A few possibilities often work:

• Dialogue with the people involved in the relationship. Be open and listen carefully, no judgement and lots of assertiveness.
• If it is necessary, get a mediator, someone who can be impartial or who is partial to all sides of the relationship.
• Invite the people in the relationship for something out of the box, perhaps a walk in a park or just eating together. Talk openly and look for a solution, whatever it is.
• Compromise and commit. If the relationship is worthwhile, to let go of a few habits is really nothing compared to what you are going to earn.
• Take a break. A real break; just go somewhere and keep disconnected with the other person. Use that time for a deep reflection and notice their effect in your life. After the break, get together with the other person and share the reflections.

And if you must leave the relationship, just do it… gently. Remember that people are not objects; they would suffer when you cut with them. Be assertive and avoid emotions by focusing on feelings.