What, Christmas again?

Since my childhood, I have noticed Christmas was not as exciting for adults as it was for me, a child. In fact, it seemed some people like my mother were even afraid of it, after all, around Christmas was the day she worked more than the whole year; she was a saleswoman.

Now, as an adult… what can I say?

I do love the time and period, the lights on the streets and a general distinct vibe in the air, but I think we have turned Christmas into a shopping experience, instead of a life changing event, which could be…

Because of the story of Christmas, you may see others under a different light. Just think there is a guiding star for every human being and your job is just helping them to see it. That is real Christmas!

And Christmas smiles emerge from the heart, not from some desire or just the need of pleasing another person. It is a real smile… something we should enjoy the whole year.

During Christmas, people are easy to reach, easy to talk and they are more open to listen to you, or just talk to you. It is the perfect moment you have been looking for a long time, when you at last get that I forgive you.

So, don’t let yourself down this Christmas, just refocus and pay more attention to the real spirit of this celebration.

A Big Hug for you, Merry Christmas!

A magic lamp!

It's like Aladdin's, but brighter. This lamp is called mind.

To activate this lamp, just rub it, that is, use your mind with a purpose instead of just letting it wander around... Let the hand of your best intentions touch your mind, making the best of it emerge.

In this magic lamp that we all have, there are unlimited treasures; really, you can achieve everything, not only for yourself but for people who are connected to you. When there is a clear purpose and focus, everything is possible.

But check your intentions while using your mind. One tip: the more selfless you are, the more powerful the outcome will be.

Like every lamp, there is a hidden genius waiting to be released, which is the force that your mind will use to bring about what you need and want to achieve. Actually, your magic lamp is so broad that it contains THREE GENIUS. The first and most important is that of a determined thought.

Sit peacefully and focus your mind on what you need, touching it gently with pure intentions. Now, let your mind generate the thoughts that can make the impossible become possible.

And do not be diverted! A determined thought is the match that transforms a candle into light... Think, speak and act.

The second genius is very special and important, helping you to overcome the obstacles of the path, because it will MOTIVATE you all the time. It's about constructive emotions.

One of the key reasons why we do not achieve what we have in mind are obstacles and adversities in general, which take away our desire, and frustrate and discourage us.

Therefore, fill yourself with positivism by talking with optimistic people, watching news that helps you increase hope, and discussing topics related to love, peace and happiness... The more you feed your constructive emotions, the more easily you will overcome obstacles.

The last genius is related to a process of introspection and reflection necessary to process what is happening. They are the feelings that exist on a deeper level than the emotions.

From time to time, stop along the way, look in the mirror of your own existence and recognize what exists within you, the feelings that come before emotions and even thoughts.

They come from your beliefs and serve to turn into memorable the incredible effort that your lamp will make: change your reality.

From disempowerment to empowerment

I have been working on the topic of empowerment for many years, since I realized the importance of power in life: that’s what we have that comes from within and helps us to defeat obstacles, to reinvent ourselves and to attain success.

However, I have noticed that there has been a decrement in the awareness of power; I would dare to say we are reaching very high levels of global disempowerment. How to turn this around? I would like to explore three of the present paradigms that show disempowerment and how to change that:

• Aloneness and short-term relationships. People are either choosing to live by themselves or they have relationships that last very little time, creating a unique situation for the family-based societies, governments, the economy and many other levels.
• The deep dissatisfaction, from citizens to government officers. In the past, this was a common trace of a dictatorial government, but nowadays even very well consolidated democracies are facing this, which may be considered a worldwide movement.
• The fake media. Instead of a media that covers matters and subjects into their depth, the social network has opened the doors to all kind of information and news are often short and inaccurate, generating the chance for fake news and deepfakes.

Why does this indicate the growing disempowerment and how to reverse this trend?

First of all, the main reason people are alone is not that they don’t need others because they are so satisfied and fulfilled; reality is there is not enough strength to try and live with other people, by accommodating to others’ way of living. One way of solving it is to invest time in developing more assertiveness and dialogue techniques, which will help in creating new bridges between people.

That dissatisfaction also reaches the social level, which used to happen in non-democratic countries and people of democratic countries used to point and say well, that’s the result of dictatorship. By happening in a democracy, it shows people’s disempowerment as the big irony is that people are marching and protesting against people they themselves have put in that position... The empowerment in terms of citizenship comes from developing better criteria to use at time of election and to know more about the government and social structure, so learning ways of promoting change in a more effective way.

Last but not the least, information has always had a deep impact in our mindset and good powerful information helps us to feel more empowered. Let’s add to that truthful; if the news is not real, the effect tends to be the opposite, particularly when facts come out and the person realizes they believed in something false, losing self-confidence. On one hand, control the news that come to you and don’t believe in them just like that; on the other hand, prioritize more in relation to which information is relevant to you, and focus on that, leaving other pieces of data aside.

I am here, what about you?

A typical scene nowadays, anywhere in our very modern world: a group of friends sitting together, all of them looking into their own cell phones, apparently ignoring the rest of people around them, even though they are very good friends.

We live in a world of people who are not present. A few are working at one place different than the place they are sitting or standing; others, are looking for fun somewhere else and in many cases, they don’t even know where their actions are taking them to. Many others are trying to evade and escape the present reality.

But, I am here. Even though I am so busy, I am still here…

Maybe I can’t be present all the time, but I chose and decide to make that special effort to be where I am and to be what I really am, along with others.

Would you like to try? Try to disconnect yourself for a while from the whole world and be present at the small space you occupy. Try to look into the eyes of others and appreciate the nature around you or the wonderful city you where you live.

That will generate an alignment, enabling your mind to perform better and helping you to make better decisions. That will improve your life in general, and I am sure it will help others to appreciate you even more…

To express yourself in an emotional level

It shouldn’t be difficult as we are essentially emotional creatures, but the reality is that when we have to communicate, the emotional level or ingredient is often a big challenge.

There are several reasons you could find for that, such as the complexity of human emotions or the fact they are hugely controlled by the social environment.

Even though it is not fully confirmed, when you don’t express them, your emotions accumulate until one day, you explode, so your anger towards your boss makes you lose your job when at last you tell him or her what you are really thinking. Another option is that you will live your life bitter, always thinking of the many possibilities of expression…

But if you express yourself improperly, then that emotion won’t have the effect was intended. For instance, if your anger with your boss is expressed with your life partner, well, your boss won’t know about it, so no changes will happen and emotions will keep on accumulating, besides your partner will resent the treatment.

However, if you take some time off. If you just relax a bit, and reflect another bit… Maybe you can calm your mind in a way, so that your emotions get clearer and, because you are very calm, you may find the right moment and the right way to express them. You may find a way to sit down and have a real conversation with your boss, expressing your emotions in a way that sounds constructive and inviting a change in your relationship.

So, make a list of those emotions you haven’t been able to express, just relax and reflect, and you will find a way of doing it.

An anchor that may ease the weight of the clock

It is impossible to really understand the pressure of time in the present society we live, as it is very different than before.

How was it before like? In fact, many of us forgot the fact there was a clear routine separating job and home, and that is an essential ingredient of a good time management: getting ready, leaving for work, working – eventually, talking with friends or relatives – leaving the workplace, arriving at home, doing more things there and going to sleep – sometimes, working a bit…

Nowadays: before going to work, a person is often responding emails or messages (several sources just as WhatsApp, SMS or Telegram). In fact, there is not a clear line division between work and life outside work.

Besides deadlines and terms been much clearer then, two important principles of time management are to have a free time period slotted into your schedule and what we could call an anchor, which is something that will happen no matter what, like dinner with the family.

These principles had many uses, one of them was to relieve some pressure of time as the person knew he would have  to work hard for a certain amount, but later, there will be free time; or at such a such an hour, they will have to be somewhere else.

Nowadays, with a fluid sense of time, things get very confusing and much discipline is necessary along with self-control to keep the anchors, the almost legendary dinner with the family which, when it would happen, will be accompanied by lots of cell phone checking and talks related to work.

This means time is the same as before, but pressure is bigger on everyone’s mind. The clock seems to be heavier now and years look shorter. Soon, retirement is coming…

What to do? Going backwards or revert a trend is a difficult, but to re-establish those two principles is not as complicated as it sounds. Maybe an easy way is to merge both principles…

1. Just check what you will do as free time or time for the self – to run, reading a book or meditating. Be a dreamer, but balance that with the reality of your resources and interest.
2. Now, think of when you are going to do it. Be neither too ambitious in terms of time, nor too shy.
3. Lastly, convert those into important anchors in your weekly or monthly schedule. Be as accurate as possible (day, time), but keep your schedule flexible, don’t schedule it too tightly.

Ah, don’t forget to organize yourself for that:

• De-clutter your schedule of other things and not only for that time – try it for the whole afternoon and evening…
• Tell others about it. If you are shy about what you are going to do or you don’t want others to join you in that, just tell them you will be busy during that time.
• It is good to plan things drop by drop… Keep balance.

Always remember that to manage time is not only a way to be more productive, but also to enjoy more personal time.

Shifting from having to being

In 1976, an interesting book[1] by psychologist Erich Fromm touched the subject, trying to stimulate readers to understand the consequences of focusing on having instead of being.

The surge and growth of materialism has stimulated intense rebellions and a new way of seeing the world. Not new in the sense that never has happened before; it is new in terms of occurrence as nowadays people are questioning what they are doing and why they are doing it.

And the consequences are clear when we see or hear about climate change or the effects of greed in humanity.

But the desire of having makes us keep on increasing and accumulating possessions. What is the solution? More protests? More laws?

Maybe, reflecting and refocusing could be a shift point in our civilization. For instance, instead of valuing people who attained things like big cars or jewelry, let's value people who ARE.

We could start from ourselves and value more the experience of being well, happy and peaceful, instead of valuing having the last cell phone in the market.

We could start by being an example to others and inspiring them to focus their energy in being instead of just having.

Then, one day we will be able to give more importance to what we really are…

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[1] To have or to be? 1976, by Harper and Row.