Finding a gem among the stones

Problems.

Criticism.

More problems.

The boss is not happy…

… neither your life partner.

The weather is awful and…

… let’s not even mention the road traffic!

Bad situations come to our lives, which can turn into a thorn in our existence and it is not easy to avoid it. But we can change the way to see these scenes.

First, let’s take a look into that idea of bad situations as thorns. We can remind ourselves that behind any thorn there is a beautiful rose waiting for us. It may be a difficulty or a small tragedy, but there is a rose in the form of a lesson, a change in the lifestyle or something even more valuable. Instead of focusing on the thorns, look for the rose!

Second possibility is to see circumstances as stones on the way: enough stones, your way will be well paved. Yes, it is bad, but it will pass and you will certainly grow due to this. Remember the paved road, instead of the stones.

And in relation to that, a few of the stones may be gems: because your boss is not happy with you, you find a better job or due to the intense traffic jam, you decide to go and live at a better place. Check the bad things in your life, because a few jewels are expecting to be collected.

The role of God in the TikTok era

Well, if you look for GOD and add TikTok, you will find a whooping 235 million results… But, of course, the results are of all kinds because to try to use such a high element of spirituality comprised in the shortest video possible, it is quite difficult.

My experience of God is a life-long one and it goes beyond reading or studying, suffering or joy, understanding or believing. Although those short videos can be helpful, they cannot convey the greatness that God has.

He is known at the Brahma Kumaris, an organization to which I have been affiliated for forty years, as the Ocean of all Virtues, because that is what He is: an Ocean that comprehends all that is good and powerful.

And yet, He is also known as being just a point of light… An extremely concentrated form of energy. The words in other languages are sindhu for ocean and bindhu for point, rhyming an experience, like a living song.

We are similar to Him, but so different. We are different than Him, but so similar.

Experience God through meditation, contemplation or prayer; let that experience fill your mind and actions.

Also, enjoy those short videos, without depending on them to decide what God really is for you.

When it is better not to change…

There are several reasons to change and I think you are a person who likes, or at least WANTS to change, right?

But there are a few reasons to NOT change, even though situations are pushing you to do that.

The first thing is when you are trying to adapt to another person’s way of life. Of course, if you are a partner or a room-mate, then both will have to adapt, but many times, it is a one-way expectation, and that is not right. Create a dialogue with the other person and check how both of you can adapt to each other or alternatives.

The second reason is when the changes that are expected from you won’t benefit you. There are cases when they will benefit others; check how to do it in such a way you don’t feel a loss. But, in general, if something is not beneficial to you, don’t do it. Talk with others and see how you can accommodate, without losing that which is precious in you.

Third, when the changes that are expected from you won’t benefit others, similar to the second reason. There are cases when they will benefit you; check how to do it in such a way others don’t feel a loss. But, in general, if something is not beneficial to others, avoid doing it. Talk with others and see how both sides can accommodate, without losing that which is precious for them.

Now, if you are not fully convinced of any change, reflect upon it. Maybe it is the method you don’t like or the possible outcome; by reflecting and realizing, it is possible you can change or you can reach the conclusion you won’t follow that particular change.

A last advice: you are your own leader. Don’t react, don’t change because situations change and don’t try to make others change. Reflect, meditate and understand before promoting a change in yourself.

Is it possible to change?

Many years ago, I heard from a Buddhist monk the interesting and disturbing idea that people cannot change…

As I walk on a self-progress path that promotes change, I started thinking how true this was, and there are a few conclusions I drew from this.

• Of course, changes that come from outside affects people and change them, but not necessarily in the way they need or want. As soon as they can, they will be back to their old ways.
• I do feel people can change by themselves at any time in their lives, if they fulfill two conditions: 1) they are aware of what they have to change and 2) they use a good method for that.
• Still, I understand change is not easy so the person also needs a network of people and a good environment that support the transition to the final stage of change, normally self-transformation.
• Without awareness, no good method, difficulties to get people that help them and the wrong environment, it is not possible for a person to change. Sorry!
• Can other people change anyone? It is possible, but the effect won’t last if the former mentioned elements are not present in the person to change, and the one that causes the change has to be consistent and a leader of the self.

Are you in a self-transformation path? How is it going?