Laughing at your fears

One of the wonders of Halloween festival is to turn fear into laughter… well, not always, but most of the time this is its effect.

In fact, humor is a very powerful weapon against fear. To laugh or at least to smile at something that scares you, it empowers you.

So, let’s play a bit of a Reflective Halloween:

• Disguise yourself! Whenever you face something that triggers fear in you, just disguise yourself… not necessarily physically. For instance, if you are afraid of what your boss will tell you about that project delay, remember your triumphs and visualize you are the champion with a medal or a laurel wreath … then, talk to the boss!
• Pumpkins with candles! It is part of Halloween to decorate houses in a frightening way, transforming very harmless things – a pumpkin, a candle, a broom – into objects of fear… or power? Yes, instead of FRIGHT these objects have been empowered. So, transform your house in a house of power: your seat is a throne, your table is like King Arthur's Round Table and one of your rooms is a sacred place.
• Myths and legends… It is an important part of Halloween and there is lots of wisdom in that. ALL FEARS come from personal myths and legends, and if you remember movies well, at the end the hero or heroine – YOU! – always win. Next time you experience fear, just laugh at it and remember you are the hero or heroine of your own tale, whatever is taking place, you are the winner!

Never forget… or forever forget?

During life we go through so many experiences. Some are recorded deeply into the soul and we remember their images, sounds and sensations; they are also present in our habits, lifestyle, our way of thinking and communicating with others.

Other experiences, we forget so much that it is as if we have never had them: that wonderful food, this person who is talking, former co-workers…

Nothing bad about that, as it is normal, but the problem is when we remember what we should have forgotten and we forget what we should have remembered. What to do about it?

Let’s focus on the things we forget…

First of all, we shouldn’t feel bad if we have forgotten something*; there is always a reason for that. Maybe that scene is not relevant anymore in my life or at least, not at this moment; perhaps, I really didn’t see benefit in it. If someone is close to me, to us, they will accept that forgetfulness as normal and if it is necessary, they will remind us with kindness.

Now, if something was forgotten that was really important, a simple tip is to make it relevant again. For instance, I used to write poetry in my youth, but that was all forgotten; then, for some volunteer work, I had the challenge of reminding people of some duty and poetry, in a humorous way, has been used to do that – the person laughs at it, they like it and they do what they would be supposed to do!

Last, there is something we can control: what we are living right now. To remember or forgetting something, there are three questions we can ask ourselves:

• What am I learning?
• What is the experience I am living here that I want to treasure?
• Which of the experiences I am going through I will share with others?

This will help to keep something in memory, but also to release those things that are not useful or significant.

Of course, we have to do something to keep the memory: take pictures, write something, shoot the scenes… But the most important work has been done as that scene of our life has become more than just a passing cloud, turning into an important part of our life, something we will always remember…

* Sometimes, memory problems can be caused by physical reasons. If you forget things in a certain pattern, it is good to check with a doctor.

The formula for determination

If you have an objective in your life, there is something that is true, no matter what it is: you are not living or enjoying it today.

Why is this important? It is common that as soon as you set a goal in life or you start to pursue your dream, somehow you start to feel you are that already.

This is good, since it gives you the motivation, but some people falls into that trap and they stop to endeavor, as they think they are what they would want to be.

When you keep the fact you are not living that objective yet, you can move on by planning and creating that dream, bringing into your reality.

There are many techniques you can use, however no matter which ones you choose to do it, there is a common virtue, quality or value that will be useful for you and without which, it will be difficult to fulfill your goal: determination.

It means the energy that makes you move forward, despite obstacles, difficulties and, quite often, loss of interest. It helps you in critical moments of your self-progress and it gives you the boost you need.

However, to keep determined, particularly with long-term goals and when the road ahead is bumpy, there is a formula that may help you. As any formula, you may work on the factors, making it easier.

First, it is essential to understand that:

DETERMINATION is DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL to FAITH and SELF-CONFIDENCE

In other words, the more you have faith in the goal and you trust your talents, skills and whoever you are as a person, the easier will be to experience determination.

 

The formula

DETERMINATION = (CLARITY) + CONCENTRATION + SELF-EMPOWERMENT

Determination comes as a result of (first) having clarity in relation to your goal (and here, the order of the factor is very important). Then focus or concentration will keep you moving towards it, but due to obstacles and distractions, you do need to empower the self in many ways.

 

Although it does not mean you will fulfill your goal, to keep determination is probably half of the effort towards your objectives.

Discovering something new about me

How many new things have you learnt about you in the past twelve months?

Come one! At least one thing…

If you were able to remember at least one thing, well, that is good. If you have found a bunch of new things, wonderful!

But if you struggle and you feel merged until your neck in the bog of routine… you are not alone!

There are times in our lives that we feel we are always learning something new: school, parents, church, neighbors, first job, second job…

However, after a while – and I am not meaning TIME here, just after something that happens in our lives – we start to not see anything new. We are doing everything in a mechanical way; maybe good, but not perfect.

So many movies, songs and books have explored this phenomenon, but instead of expecting a magical thing taking place, there are a few things we all can do.

• Just observe yourself with different eyes.
• See the magic in your own heart.
• Remember the best moments of your life, and bring those experiences in life today.
• Maybe you are not learning anything new, but new ways to do the same.
• See others with new eyes, appreciating things you missed noticing in them.
• GRATITUDE brings about the best in anyone, particularly during critical times.

My faith in others

A big surprise was the launch of new music by an old group, Abba. Most often, the new albums are a compilation of old songs, but this time, they broke the model… and one song touched many hearts.

I still have faith in you.

So, how much faith do you have in this person who has been along with you for many years?

They have probably failed again and again.

They have left you alone so many times!

They did things that made you think you couldn’t trust them.

But, they are still there with you…

And if you look behind, you will probably remember people who never failed you, they were always with you for some time and they never failed your trust, and yet, they are not with you anymore.

This song is about life with other people: a partner, a parent, a child, a friend…

This song is about going beyond trust; normally trust demands a proof, but faith is there. It is like a voice saying I know this person and I know they are with me; they will always be with me.

How much faith do you have in others? Have you lost your faith in other people for some reason? If so, what to do about that?

After all, what we all want is to have faith in those who are with us, and enable them to have faith in us.