Silence creates a subtle bond – Reason 68

Anyone’s life is surrounded by so many others whether in work, family, a circle of friends or any interaction with other people.  Most people just deal with that superficially: I like this person, I don’t like that one, it is better to avoid my uncle, I can’t talk with my partner anymore…

A leader uses different tactics to create and to strengthen the relationship with others.  One of these is the use of silence.

Although silence is often used for most people to quieten someone else or to avoid a sensitive subject, that is not the case for leaders.  When leaders don’t use words, their attitude creates vibrations that reach other people, and generates a subtle bond of understanding.

The power that comes from silence replaces the need to request another person to behave better, to lower the sound of music being played, to say I love you, or to motivate them to give a bit more for a particular task.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Leaders can see values, even though they are invisible – Reason 67

In a leadership parable, a prince goes to the forest to listen to all sounds he could.  After one year, he related his experience to his master who then sent him back again; the master was not satisfied with his disciple’s achievements.  After a while hearing the same sounds, at some point the prince started to hear the unheard: the sound of flowers opening, the sound of the sun warming the earth, and the sound of the grass drinking the morning dew[1] 

Leaders are exceptional as they are often able to perceive that is imperceptible…  They may sense something is not alright by the way they behave or speak, and most important, they can see values in the form of an invisible treasure every person has.

It is not that difficult to create a plan for the future or to analyse the present situation, but its success depends on the values by which people live their lives for it is those values that will impact their actions, will influence their thoughts and will colour their motives.

By making effort to see the invisible, and the goodness in each person leaders create an important bond, which will give any task a different and good energy.

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[1] Parables of Leadership appeared as an article by W. Chan Kim and Renée Mauborgne, in a 1992 issue of Harvard Business Review.  https://hbr.org/1992/07/parables-of-leadership

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Leadership gives a different meaning to possessions – Reason 66

Most of the time, possessions come from a simple formula:  Do I want this or need this?  Can I afford it?  If I can, then I GET IT!  If not, well, I keep it on the wish-list.

For a leader, his or her possessions are acquired by a different approach.  First of all, leaders manage their needs with a big picture in their minds as they include the needs of the people who are relying on them.

In fact, leaders will often put others’ needs before their own in a natural and graceful way.  Magically, a leader will feel satisfied by seeing others fulfilling their own needs.

What about the want part of the formula?  It is normally rooted in desire and to supress a desire is not an easy thing to do, but leaders first of all will check if it is really a good thing to want that and then, they will transform the want into this is necessary for me to be a better instrument.

Next time you, leader, look into the list of the things you have, check how instrumental they have been to give others the chance to see the best of you.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Every day you look at the sun as if it is the first time – Reason 65

As a coach and endurance athlete, Christopher Bergland has said, ‘…everybody needs some thrills in life to feel exuberant and fully alive’[1].  On the basis of this, the world could be split in two.

One part of the world is looking for happiness, joy, a sense of being alive through newness and excitement, despite the potential dangers Bergland mentions in his article.  This creates a very interesting dynamic and makes things tasty and spicy, but they don’t really change life per se, and eventually the ‘supernovelwonderfulfantastic’ thing is just boring…

The other part of the world likes their own house, their own lives and they are OK, thank you very much!  They may look like a bunch of conservative people trying to prevent progress, and yet they are looking for the same final result as everyone else: happiness, joy, a sense of being alive.

Then, there are leaders, who generate their own happiness, joy and a sense of being alive.  Novelty comes in the realm of the mind and awareness, most of the time, not from the physical environment.

As a leader, every time the sun rises, it is always like the first time, with all the excitement and energy that comes from novelty seeking by other means.

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[1] The Perils of Novelty Seeking is an article written by athlete and coach Christopher Bergland, for Psychology Today.  You can find the article at this address: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201311/the-perils-novelty-seeking

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)