Accepting others' ideas

A few years back, someone explained to me the difference between discussion and dialogue, taking as an example science. According to that person, science used to be an example of dialogue, a field where people used to work on someone else’s work enriching it and providing different perspectives.

Today however what we see – in science and in every other field – is that instead of a constructive dialogue, there is a competition; dialogue has changed into discussion, a word that comes from discus, an old weapon used to kill others…

It is hard to accept other people’s ideas for the simple reason that we are like different universes trying our best to live and work together. When I talk to someone I am using my own intelligence, perception, experience and skills for that and I am expecting a certain type or response, according to my intelligence, perception, experience and skills. Unfortunately the other person will use their own intelligence, perception, etc.

And never in human civilization was an agreement needed as it is needed nowadays. We have to take some very important decisions in relation to environment and migration, and other subjects that one person or one country cannot solve.

There are three simple techniques or tactics a person may use to embrace others’ ideas:

• As you know others are different than you, check for some common ground. It can be football, nature or meditation, but there is always something you and others agree upon. Start your conversation with that and use it as an anchor, going back when it is needed. This kind of talk strengthens the bond between you and others and may help to reach a consensus.
• Before refusing another’s ideas, accept them in your mind, see the probabilities of success and how they will work. If you can’t accept them in your heart, explain to the other person why and move on to another subject. You can use visualization to understand another’s point of view and talk with them from that approach.
• There are always lessons to be learnt. After a discussion with someone, sit quietly and understand what happened. Focus on what you have learnt and what you could not accept, and why. Don’t be afraid of going back on your decision and accept what others said, even after refusing it; you are becoming wiser by doing that.