Whatever you
do impacts other people’s lives even when either you or they don’t realize
that. The same is for you… whatever
others do will impact you.
This is something
to have in mind, particularly if you are a person interested in your
improvement, since there is always the risk that for a step you take, another
person influences you to go back two steps…
I am not
talking about discriminating people, but here are some tips that may be useful
for an experience of companionship:
- Understand your aims and goals in relation to that person. Is it just for fun? Do I want to have a project of life with him or her?
- Be honest all the time… Whenever either of you start to be dishonest, there is something wrong there and you need to assess it. What is preventing either of us of telling the whole truth? How can we build a safe space so that we can clear things without harming anyone?
- A relationship implies lots of compromise, but there is a point when compromising hurts a person’s principles or values, or creates a sense of loss. At that point, a dialogue may help in reaching to terms that both feel comfortable with. At what extent I feel I am sacrificing something – or I know the other one is sacrificing? In which way can we avoid the feeling of loss or feeling uncomfortable?
- Sometimes values don’t match. Yes, we have to learn and this is why it is good to be around different people, but the values should be at least aligned – complementing each other, similar or enriching the other’s life. About our differences, how much aligned are our values? If they are not aligned, how can we work out that?
And to be
clear: sometimes EXIT is the best way for everyone… But, as a song used to say:
Go gently…
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