How heavy is your present?

Have you ever received a very heavy gift from another person? You would often enjoy, but many times you will feel annoyed while you would try to carry that around. It is possible would get broken.

What about your present (tense)? Is it light and shiny, or heavy and dull?

The situations are what they are, but our perception changes their weight. For instance a person can tell you how the weather is bad and another person would call it wonderful, even though the weather is the same for both of them.

By looking at the weather in a bad way, the person will experience negative emotions and it is possible that affects their health. Also, because the weather is bad, their social life will be affected and possibly even their job.

By looking at the (same) weather in a positive way, the person will experience constructive emotions, which maybe will affect (positively) their health. Perhaps because the weather looks good, their social life and their career will blossom too.

Now, there is a realistic optimism in which the person acknowledges the weather is bad, but that is not an obstacle for their health, social or work life. In fact, it becomes an interesting challenge and the individual has a chance to celebrate after overcoming it.

If you are feeling your present as a heavy burden, about to break the soul’s back, a few suggestions:

• Talk with someone who is more optimistic in relation to the present, but very realistic about it.
• Count your blessings; there are so many things for which you can be proud, happy or excited.
• Try to talk to yourself, reflect and understand why you are feeling like this in relation to the present.
• Meditation helps you to focus on the present and take maximum benefit.

And remember: your present is a gift life has given you.

Building castles in future lands

What is the antonym of nostalgia, a longing for the past? As far as I know, there is no such a word, but unfortunately, it exists in terms of behavior.

I remember a few people who wanted to go to a special program in United States and they didn’t have the visa. Particularly one person who just went to order her passport called me asking for the weather at the place she was going in the US… (to which she didn’t have ticket, visa and not even the passport!)

An image I have in my mind: there are people who build castles in lands that don’t even exist, and they start to live there. As it may happen with nostalgia, they are probably frustrated with the their present and so the possibility of a future that is different than the present they are living makes them leave this place… without really leaving it, just an experience in her mind.

It is quite risky; after all, they have to work, take care of their children, their own health, to talk with friends and do all a person who must do in our society. People who live in these future castles sometimes are careless in relation to their present hut.

There is an even worse frustration as sometimes it happens that their imagined future is not what they were expecting. It may be totally different – a manor instead of a castle – or a maybe unexpected experience – can you imagine to CLEAN a whole castle??

If you really want to live in a castle one day, start with one brick today, another tomorrow… The future does not take place in our imagination but it will be the fruit of whatever we are sowing right now.

Do you live in the past?

Is it a fashion or the desire to listen to old music is growing more than it was expected? Just browse around internet and you will see it is a reality.

With the pandemic, nostalgia is in and not only in terms of music; many people can´t stop thinking of the old times of 50, 30 or even 5 years ago! By the way, I am listening to some wonderful songs of the past right now…

You know, if you really like those things of the past, why not? There is nothing bad about reliving some wonderful experience, memory or reinventing whatever you went through… as long as you don’t start living there.

Maybe you don’t like the present, but you do live NOW and when you try to live in the past, you are probably missing so many opportunities.

A deep reflection is that whatever I lived in the past that left such wonderful memory in my heart – and a song is playing, which used to be favorite of a person I won’t be able to see anymore, I haven’t even been able to say goodbye – I can still live now as memories of that wonderful person, her words and wisdom and her good wishes towards me flood my mind (not my eyes, not my eyes!).

Instead of going to the past, I bring the past to this time and live that beautiful energy in my life without delay; therefore it is like feeling her presence everywhere I go, because I am using those memories here. In this way, the past helps me to create an even better future in which I know she won’t be present, but part of my life will be her legacy.

A little magic trick to change situations

Changing things is not easy. Changing people is very difficult. Changing yourself…

Well, probably that is not easy either, but it is what you can do as you always have the possibility of changing the self.

And there is a little magic trick I can share with you: when you change yourself, particularly when you change your mindset, things change… OK, they don’t necessarily change, but let’s see an example.

You have a very difficult boss, one of the worse you have ever had! You are often arguing with them and you feel they don’t allow you to grow. You like the present workplace and position you have, salary is good, nice people…

So… if you would try to change your boss, what would it happen? Probably nothing, they maybe scold you for trying such a thing, even fire you.

Another option… you may try to change your job. However, besides it is hard to do in the present circumstances, are you sure you are going to have a better boss? No certainty here, right?

Let’s try a bit of magic! Start looking for good things about your boss: they are very well educated, in fact, their curriculum is really impressive, they connect very well with customers and they are a good family person (which is something important for you).

The problems you are having with him are not going away because of that, but they refer to your development and the way things work.

By changing your mindset, you ask yourself: Why don’t I help them to find a new job instead of fighting them? After a few hours browsing, you prepare a list of possible options, a very good profile for your boss and you send to as many companies as possible. After two months, old boss goes (for a very good position) and a new boss comes! Hope is back!

Other magic tricks that would be available in this case: you could go through training and get a better position in the same company and you could apply for another branch of the same company.

Check your problems and use this magic wand to solve them. Magic is available to all of us and the method is the same: instead of trying to change outside, reflect, see which changes you can do within and then implement.