The challenge of real independence

Before being a teenager, the only thing I wanted was to be independent. I used to imagine myself making decisions about my own life in relation to career, work, personal life… but I didn’t imagine myself having to wash my own clothes, to cook my own food and, worse, to earn my own money!

The dream of independence is a strange fantasy in which a person only thinks of benefits, without their cost; still it is not bad. In fact, the idea of independence took me to where I am today and I do recommend anyone to exercise it.

I would like to give you two tips for a successful experience of independence.

A real tip is to be PATIENT with yourself and life in general. Your independence depends on several factors and it takes time for them to be ready for you, meanwhile it is good to feel INTERDEPENDENT, instead of dependent. It is much more than washing dishes once a week or going to the shopping for the house, it happens when you recognize the other’s independence, you respect it and you help them to develop it, which will help you in your own independence.

Second tip: be PERSEVERANT. Lots of obstacles will come your way, either because it seems life is conspiring so you don’t become independent or you are thinking you were not made for that and it is better to go back to your mum’s house. Just keep on going a bit more and you may set some dates in terms of aims to be fulfilled, which is quite helpful. Another thing that is helpful is to increase your capacity by attending a few courses, meditate more and changing your lifestyle.

The essence of meditation

When there is a big problem you can’t resolve, it is common that you just let your mind fly a bit, beyond the problem…

When you are so happy that laughter cannot express it and you decide that, instead of sharing with others, you just let your thoughts fly very high…

When you are feeling so peaceful that your mind gets calmed and even reality seems to slow down…

Meditating is basically to abstract yourself from reality and turn your mind – which generates thoughts, ideas, feelings and emotions – towards something else.

By meditating you allow yourself to go out of the box you are at the moment and find other possibilities, other avenues to ride the chariot of your mind.

I have been meditating for almost 40 years and although I can name you at least 10 benefits and I can describe the method to meditating by heart, I still have to capture its essence every single day.

Because every day my mind tries to dive into the problems that come up in my life.

Every time I am happy, my mind generates so many thoughts on how to share that happiness with others.

Whenever I get some moments of peace, I want to go to sleep or just relax by watching or reading something.

To meditate may be a struggle, or a game in which you are the one who will be victorious. It depends on several factors, but with a good method, you will be able to control your mind.

However, the essence of meditation is not about controlling; it is about liberating and focusing. I have learned that, instead of controlling my thoughts and mind, I can free them from several subtle chains and I focus onto something powerful and beautiful.

When the mind finds solutions, pleasure or peace in that direction, meditation becomes natural, the struggle ends and you win this subtle game.

 

Do you want to meditate? I recommend you go to Brahma Kumaris and check the raja yoga meditation.

Religions and rituals

I never thought I had a religious experience, until many years late in my life, but still there was something that amazed me: Jesus Christ, who founded the Christian religion, was not a Christian…

Fast forward and I am exposed to a new notion in relation to religion by the simple word dharma. And it means much, much more than just religion: the lifestyle, a form of relating the others, a mission in life… In that sense, Christ was the first Christian.

That simply made so much sense! Religion is more than rituals and scriptures, priests and hierarchy; religion as dharma is how someone lives according to a set of principles and values, instead of how to pray or which cloth to wear.

And that applies in all aspects of our life. Let’s take for example our approach to the work: am I working just because of money or because of my diploma? Am I working according to my vocation and the energy it generates in my life?

Much of our lives we just live as a ritual… it is time to identify our dharma and align our reality with it.

What to forget, what to remember

Forgetting and remembering are two sides of the same coin: consciousness.

I am not talking here of oblivion where memories are erased or blurred as if they were behind a fog.

Nor do I speak of the memory as the obsessive thought that does not allow us to erase something from the mind.

I speak of the conscious act of recovering valuable memories, since along with them, virtues, values ​​and inner powers will arise. These memories can be the solution to a problem present at work, a conflict with another person or they can give rise to hope in the face of a serious health situation.

I speak of the conscious act of reducing guilt, both of oneself and of others; forget so much that we stop blaming. I'm talking about the conscious act of forgetting bad times with a person because you understand them and you know that we all go through bad days. I speak of the conscious act of instead of allowing negative memories, to strengthen the present wonder.

For this, do this simple daily exercise:

Think: What will I remember today that will bring into my life qualities or powers that I need so much?

Think: What are the alternatives I have to relate to a person, so that I forget bad moments of past interactions?

That will help you improve your quality of life and will also give other people an opportunity to improve in your eyes.