Be a conqueror

A few years ago, I watched a powerful video in which a singer, survival of a plane crash with visible scars, sang a song that never came out of my mind.

It was about being a conqueror, because that was what she thought she was. That is what she was.

Many times, you have to overcome something, avoid another situation or just winning over what is taking place. At other times, you must be a conqueror, a victorious soul, because there is a battle outside there…

Being a conqueror does not mean to fight or struggle, but to shift awareness and look at reality with a different outlook.

It means to act in a conscious way, knowing the reasons and meaning of our acts, being aware of our errors and change the needed behaviors.

If you are at a war right now in your life, don’t give up. Work on your awareness and be the conqueror you really are.

Holistic Learning

Our learning is linear, that is, we learn one thing and then another, adding, sometimes subtracting what we have learned before and even changing it. It is linear as there is a clear sequence and it is quite easy to understand the reason that we learn to write a before writing and.

The challenge is to learn things in a linear fashion takes time and at present, a new phenomenon of constant learning is taking place, and for learning to be constant, it demands speed.

If you have a good memory, learning by heart make things easier, particularly when there is complexity. As there are too many things to be learnt, memorization is not the perfect solution.

There are two other ways to learn that may be better for the present moment. The first is based on andragogy, a branch of education dedicated to teach adults and the main premise is that adults learn by themselves, from their experiences and by example. It is not only copy or memory, it is an internal experience and the matter becomes part of the adult’ life. According to this approach, a person can learn something new about the Artificial Intelligence or a new recipe, by practicing, hopefully with a trainer or a coach.

The second way is to think of learning in a holistic perspective. A very simple way to do that is to teach what you want to learn. I have been in that situation and I have seen cases of people learning a language who teach others in a lesser level the same language. A holistic learning is to make learning, sharing and teaching as part of a whole experience in life.

These two ways can be the solution to learn too much in a short length of time – andragogy and holistic learning. Try it, maybe that is the solution.

Self-empathy

I have listened a lot about empathy and I have talked about it too. For some, it is difficult to understand it, for others, it is easy. It is the whole base of a few professions like doctors and firefighter, a must in terms of being a parent or a teacher, and it is something we look for it in a friend or a counselor.

But I would like to explore two aspects about empathy, which can make it easy to develop the quality.

First, to really experience someone’s empathy you yourself must be it, this is part of what I would call self-empathy. You do need to be an empath to really appreciate that quality as I have experienced: many years ago, I had many empathic friends, but I was not that myself and I was unable to understand why they were relating to me in that way. I look back in my life and what I see is that I could have had a wonderful time with them …

To develop empathy is the first step to really feel others’ empathy.

Second, we need to be an empath towards the self. Self-empathy means to understand the self, to know how to be gentle and forgiving, and to guide the self through the many storms of life. It means to read our own emotions, to understand them and to embrace that part of ourselves.

By being an empath towards the self, it is easier to manage emotions and to channel them into a positive direction.

I invite you to try this type of empathy and see how you will develop empathy as a key quality for Emotional Intelligence.

The Attitude of Assertiveness

Many years ago, the word ASSERTIVENESS began circulating. It was something new, a different attitude that emphasized self-esteem, within the communicational context, avoiding negative confrontation.

It's probably the most important communication skill out there, but it's still not talked about much, and maybe not as practiced as it should be. Some of its benefits are very clear:

• Increased self-esteem, on both sides of the conversation. The assertive side needs self-esteem for this skill to work well and, if there is no self-esteem on the other side, it is too "low" or too "high", it won’t work either.
• Better results in a negotiation, generating satisfaction. The assertive side will feel that their requests and demands have been heard and the other side will understand them better, being able to make a decision.
• A greater understanding of others’ needs. Although assertiveness serves to express what a person really thinks or needs, it can help in developing the ability to understand as we all have points in common and an assertive person acknowledges that unites them as a bridge.

Assertiveness, as an attitude, works as a template in which thoughts will come from self-esteem and will serve as a reaffirmation to the person. It is part of a self-leadership attitude, part of the process of an individual reclaiming their power to lead themselves.

I would like to focus on this self-leadership and, in relation to this, assertiveness has two basic functions:

• Facing without confronting. Look at situations head-on, facing them. However, know that you don't need to fight people or situations; confrontation is the last instance of a conflict that, in general, can be solved through several ways and assertiveness is a tool of empowerment.
• Defending without contesting. Defend your ideas, without renouncing principles or vocation and specifically, without fighting with others. It enters into the same function as before, but especially in the stage of conversation or negotiation in which the other party makes their demands; it is key to be protector of what is valuable, without the competition that often happens.

But how does it work?

Without assertiveness, it would be quite complex to make changes in the daily routine, without upsetting a partner or neighbors, or to start a meditator path and expect people in your office to understand your new lifestyle...

Assertiveness will guarantee that you handle talking to your partner, clearly describing your new daily routine, negotiating without giving up what is important to you and obtaining successful results. The same will happen in your work and in all areas you touch in life.

Experience assertiveness and live in an inspired way.

X-Raying Your Life

Ever felt like you're living in a fog? You know something's off, but you can’t quite put your finger on it.

That's where the concept of X-raying your life comes in. Imagine yourself as a medical professional, examining your own internal world for issues.

Start with your relationships. Are they healthy, supportive connections? Or are there shadows lurking beneath the surface?

Next, delve into your career. Do you experience satisfaction through your work or is it a source of stress?

Your physical and mental health are also crucial areas to examine. Are you properly nourishing your body and mind?

Because of my own experience, how is your spiritual life? There is the saying that we are souls that are experiencing the physical world and not the other way around, but are you really living like that? Are you nourishing and enriching the soul you are?

Is there any other area to examine? Whatever creates an impact on you and makes you take a decision is worth to check.

Remember, this isn't about judgment, but self-awareness. It is about identifying areas that need attention and taking steps to improve them. It is preventative care for your life as, by regularly "X-raying" yourself, you can avoid bigger problems down the road.

So, roll up your sleeves and start exploring your inner world.