When I asked for a gift

 

I looked at a star and I asked for a wish. Maybe the wish came into my life, of that I am not sure…

I looked at the vast sky and I asked for a vision. Maybe I had a vision, of that I am not sure…

I looked at the most beautiful mountain and I asked for a boon. Maybe the mountain granted me the boom, of that I am not sure…

I looked at the lake at the top of the mountain and I asked for magic. Maybe I am magical, of that I am not sure…

I looked at the river on running on the sides of the mountain and I asked for refuge. Maybe I was protected, of that I am not sure…

I looked at my city and I asked for something different. Maybe I am different, of that I am not sure…

I looked at my house and I asked for some newness. Maybe my life is new, of that I am not sure…

I looked at the Christmas tree and I asked for a new toy. Maybe I got it, of that I am not sure…

I looked at my room and I asked for wisdom. Maybe I am wise now, of that I am not sure…

I looked at a mirror and I asked for a gift. And I got a smile, hope and joy, peace and love…

Of that, I am sure.

Merry Christmas!

We are almost there…

I imagine the car of time full of small children asking, “Are we there yet?”

And time, ever patient, replies with a smile, “Not yet!”

As humans, we’re always on a journey. Even when we’re not moving physically, we’re traveling along the timeline of life. “Are we there yet?”

I’ve been reflecting on this question and realized there are three significant destinations in life, three moments when we feel we’ve truly arrived. Let’s explore these moments together, perhaps it will ease some of the anxiety we feel in the car of time.

 

Let’s start at the end. Death is a moment we are all destined to meet. Whether we face it consciously, joyfully, or with fear, it’s the ultimate conclusion to our journey. The car of time eventually leaves us somewhere final, somewhere special.

How do you perceive this inevitable conclusion from where you stand today?

 

Now, let’s rewind to the first time we met our own sense of “I”. That moment when we realized our individuality – separate from our family, our community and the world around us. It was the beginning of understanding our uniqueness, the moment we started to notice differences and learned how to navigate them. It was like raising a flag at the summit of a mountain early in our human journey.

From what you remember, what was it like for you?

 

Now, EVERYBODY in the world has a… how should I call it? A moment of truth… Many years ago, a friend shared a powerful analogy about life: What if everything you’ve been through was a training? This is the moment when life clicks; suddenly, you see how your experiences, choices, struggles, and triumphs were interconnected. Memories, regrets, reasons, love, and peace, all come together to form a clear picture.

What was your moment of truth?

How to help someone who is far from me…

During this pandemic, I have had many situations in which the people going through problems were far from me, physically, and the problems were very big.

Sometimes, I was able to talk with the person and give some comfort. Other times, I just talked…

And at other times, I’ve failed and probably, I’ve made it worse.

But there is something I am sure it works, ALWAYS: to send good wishes.

It may sound something… ethereal… and I don’t have proof it works, but we may all do a few experiments:

Think of someone who is in need and who lives far from you. Think of that person in their best, with a big smile and much energy, and do that exercise during some time, at the same time (hour) and for the same length of time.

When you talk with someone who is in trouble, before talking with that person, do the former exercise, seeing them in your mind in their best. Make sure you are talking with the person in their best moment…

After talking with someone going through a bad period in their life, take some time out to wish the best to that person, in your heart.

Don’t forget that you can only help others if you help yourself first, particularly if you are going through a similar scene in the play of your life. Meditate, empower yourself, study, talk with other people and then extend the hand of your ears and heart to others.

The last plane…

The images of the Khwaja Rawash airport during the evacuation in Kabul, Afghanistan, are still present in the minds of many. A few of us had friends or relatives there, but for most people the sensation has come from an overwhelming feeling of sharing with our fellow human beings, which made many feeling as if they were the ones in despair, trying to be evacuated.

I hope all goes well for the people who got to flee the country, for those who stayed back and my peaceful vibrations for those who couldn’t and their families.

Reflecting upon it, many years later, I understand that without realizing, many of us are going to have a last plane in life, a moment of decision so brutal and critical that will split our lives in two or more timelines. After it, you won’t be the same person anymore.

Maybe it was your marriage – it does not need to be something bad.

Perhaps when your first child was born… or when they left you.

Out of this reflection, I ask myself 3 questions:

• What does it happen when the last plane is available? There is pain coming due to the attachment to all that can’t be anymore, but many positive emotions emerge at the same time. The best would be to focus on the positive and let that heal the pain.
• Is it possible to prepare for that last plane? Some would argue that is what we have been doing in our lives previous to that event. It is as if we have been training for that moment. In this way, we can check and see if we are ready to leave ALL we have now and embrace a total new existence. It means skills and aptitude, but also attitude and awareness.
• So, am I ready for the last plane and if not, which training do I need to be better prepared?

One day, maybe out of the blue that last plane will come to take you, me and us away. It will take off and after that, we will be in a totally different place… Until then, let’s keep training!

How heavy is your present?

Have you ever received a very heavy gift from another person? You would often enjoy, but many times you will feel annoyed while you would try to carry that around. It is possible would get broken.

What about your present (tense)? Is it light and shiny, or heavy and dull?

The situations are what they are, but our perception changes their weight. For instance a person can tell you how the weather is bad and another person would call it wonderful, even though the weather is the same for both of them.

By looking at the weather in a bad way, the person will experience negative emotions and it is possible that affects their health. Also, because the weather is bad, their social life will be affected and possibly even their job.

By looking at the (same) weather in a positive way, the person will experience constructive emotions, which maybe will affect (positively) their health. Perhaps because the weather looks good, their social life and their career will blossom too.

Now, there is a realistic optimism in which the person acknowledges the weather is bad, but that is not an obstacle for their health, social or work life. In fact, it becomes an interesting challenge and the individual has a chance to celebrate after overcoming it.

If you are feeling your present as a heavy burden, about to break the soul’s back, a few suggestions:

• Talk with someone who is more optimistic in relation to the present, but very realistic about it.
• Count your blessings; there are so many things for which you can be proud, happy or excited.
• Try to talk to yourself, reflect and understand why you are feeling like this in relation to the present.
• Meditation helps you to focus on the present and take maximum benefit.

And remember: your present is a gift life has given you.

Building castles in future lands

What is the antonym of nostalgia, a longing for the past? As far as I know, there is no such a word, but unfortunately, it exists in terms of behavior.

I remember a few people who wanted to go to a special program in United States and they didn’t have the visa. Particularly one person who just went to order her passport called me asking for the weather at the place she was going in the US… (to which she didn’t have ticket, visa and not even the passport!)

An image I have in my mind: there are people who build castles in lands that don’t even exist, and they start to live there. As it may happen with nostalgia, they are probably frustrated with the their present and so the possibility of a future that is different than the present they are living makes them leave this place… without really leaving it, just an experience in her mind.

It is quite risky; after all, they have to work, take care of their children, their own health, to talk with friends and do all a person who must do in our society. People who live in these future castles sometimes are careless in relation to their present hut.

There is an even worse frustration as sometimes it happens that their imagined future is not what they were expecting. It may be totally different – a manor instead of a castle – or a maybe unexpected experience – can you imagine to CLEAN a whole castle??

If you really want to live in a castle one day, start with one brick today, another tomorrow… The future does not take place in our imagination but it will be the fruit of whatever we are sowing right now.

Do you live in the past?

Is it a fashion or the desire to listen to old music is growing more than it was expected? Just browse around internet and you will see it is a reality.

With the pandemic, nostalgia is in and not only in terms of music; many people can´t stop thinking of the old times of 50, 30 or even 5 years ago! By the way, I am listening to some wonderful songs of the past right now…

You know, if you really like those things of the past, why not? There is nothing bad about reliving some wonderful experience, memory or reinventing whatever you went through… as long as you don’t start living there.

Maybe you don’t like the present, but you do live NOW and when you try to live in the past, you are probably missing so many opportunities.

A deep reflection is that whatever I lived in the past that left such wonderful memory in my heart – and a song is playing, which used to be favorite of a person I won’t be able to see anymore, I haven’t even been able to say goodbye – I can still live now as memories of that wonderful person, her words and wisdom and her good wishes towards me flood my mind (not my eyes, not my eyes!).

Instead of going to the past, I bring the past to this time and live that beautiful energy in my life without delay; therefore it is like feeling her presence everywhere I go, because I am using those memories here. In this way, the past helps me to create an even better future in which I know she won’t be present, but part of my life will be her legacy.

A little magic trick to change situations

Changing things is not easy. Changing people is very difficult. Changing yourself…

Well, probably that is not easy either, but it is what you can do as you always have the possibility of changing the self.

And there is a little magic trick I can share with you: when you change yourself, particularly when you change your mindset, things change… OK, they don’t necessarily change, but let’s see an example.

You have a very difficult boss, one of the worse you have ever had! You are often arguing with them and you feel they don’t allow you to grow. You like the present workplace and position you have, salary is good, nice people…

So… if you would try to change your boss, what would it happen? Probably nothing, they maybe scold you for trying such a thing, even fire you.

Another option… you may try to change your job. However, besides it is hard to do in the present circumstances, are you sure you are going to have a better boss? No certainty here, right?

Let’s try a bit of magic! Start looking for good things about your boss: they are very well educated, in fact, their curriculum is really impressive, they connect very well with customers and they are a good family person (which is something important for you).

The problems you are having with him are not going away because of that, but they refer to your development and the way things work.

By changing your mindset, you ask yourself: Why don’t I help them to find a new job instead of fighting them? After a few hours browsing, you prepare a list of possible options, a very good profile for your boss and you send to as many companies as possible. After two months, old boss goes (for a very good position) and a new boss comes! Hope is back!

Other magic tricks that would be available in this case: you could go through training and get a better position in the same company and you could apply for another branch of the same company.

Check your problems and use this magic wand to solve them. Magic is available to all of us and the method is the same: instead of trying to change outside, reflect, see which changes you can do within and then implement.

The challenge of real independence

Before being a teenager, the only thing I wanted was to be independent. I used to imagine myself making decisions about my own life in relation to career, work, personal life… but I didn’t imagine myself having to wash my own clothes, to cook my own food and, worse, to earn my own money!

The dream of independence is a strange fantasy in which a person only thinks of benefits, without their cost; still it is not bad. In fact, the idea of independence took me to where I am today and I do recommend anyone to exercise it.

I would like to give you two tips for a successful experience of independence.

A real tip is to be PATIENT with yourself and life in general. Your independence depends on several factors and it takes time for them to be ready for you, meanwhile it is good to feel INTERDEPENDENT, instead of dependent. It is much more than washing dishes once a week or going to the shopping for the house, it happens when you recognize the other’s independence, you respect it and you help them to develop it, which will help you in your own independence.

Second tip: be PERSEVERANT. Lots of obstacles will come your way, either because it seems life is conspiring so you don’t become independent or you are thinking you were not made for that and it is better to go back to your mum’s house. Just keep on going a bit more and you may set some dates in terms of aims to be fulfilled, which is quite helpful. Another thing that is helpful is to increase your capacity by attending a few courses, meditate more and changing your lifestyle.

The essence of meditation

When there is a big problem you can’t resolve, it is common that you just let your mind fly a bit, beyond the problem…

When you are so happy that laughter cannot express it and you decide that, instead of sharing with others, you just let your thoughts fly very high…

When you are feeling so peaceful that your mind gets calmed and even reality seems to slow down…

Meditating is basically to abstract yourself from reality and turn your mind – which generates thoughts, ideas, feelings and emotions – towards something else.

By meditating you allow yourself to go out of the box you are at the moment and find other possibilities, other avenues to ride the chariot of your mind.

I have been meditating for almost 40 years and although I can name you at least 10 benefits and I can describe the method to meditating by heart, I still have to capture its essence every single day.

Because every day my mind tries to dive into the problems that come up in my life.

Every time I am happy, my mind generates so many thoughts on how to share that happiness with others.

Whenever I get some moments of peace, I want to go to sleep or just relax by watching or reading something.

To meditate may be a struggle, or a game in which you are the one who will be victorious. It depends on several factors, but with a good method, you will be able to control your mind.

However, the essence of meditation is not about controlling; it is about liberating and focusing. I have learned that, instead of controlling my thoughts and mind, I can free them from several subtle chains and I focus onto something powerful and beautiful.

When the mind finds solutions, pleasure or peace in that direction, meditation becomes natural, the struggle ends and you win this subtle game.

 

Do you want to meditate? I recommend you go to Brahma Kumaris and check the raja yoga meditation.

Religions and rituals

I never thought I had a religious experience, until many years late in my life, but still there was something that amazed me: Jesus Christ, who founded the Christian religion, was not a Christian…

Fast forward and I am exposed to a new notion in relation to religion by the simple word dharma. And it means much, much more than just religion: the lifestyle, a form of relating the others, a mission in life… In that sense, Christ was the first Christian.

That simply made so much sense! Religion is more than rituals and scriptures, priests and hierarchy; religion as dharma is how someone lives according to a set of principles and values, instead of how to pray or which cloth to wear.

And that applies in all aspects of our life. Let’s take for example our approach to the work: am I working just because of money or because of my diploma? Am I working according to my vocation and the energy it generates in my life?

Much of our lives we just live as a ritual… it is time to identify our dharma and align our reality with it.

What to forget, what to remember

Forgetting and remembering are two sides of the same coin: consciousness.

I am not talking here of oblivion where memories are erased or blurred as if they were behind a fog.

Nor do I speak of the memory as the obsessive thought that does not allow us to erase something from the mind.

I speak of the conscious act of recovering valuable memories, since along with them, virtues, values ​​and inner powers will arise. These memories can be the solution to a problem present at work, a conflict with another person or they can give rise to hope in the face of a serious health situation.

I speak of the conscious act of reducing guilt, both of oneself and of others; forget so much that we stop blaming. I'm talking about the conscious act of forgetting bad times with a person because you understand them and you know that we all go through bad days. I speak of the conscious act of instead of allowing negative memories, to strengthen the present wonder.

For this, do this simple daily exercise:

Think: What will I remember today that will bring into my life qualities or powers that I need so much?

Think: What are the alternatives I have to relate to a person, so that I forget bad moments of past interactions?

That will help you improve your quality of life and will also give other people an opportunity to improve in your eyes.

Be a conqueror

A few years ago, I watched a powerful video in which a singer, survival of a plane crash with visible scars, sang a song that never came out of my mind.

It was about being a conqueror, because that was what she thought she was. That is what she was.

Many times, you have to overcome something, avoid another situation or just winning over what is taking place. At other times, you must be a conqueror, a victorious soul, because there is a battle outside there…

Being a conqueror does not mean to fight or struggle, but to shift awareness and look at reality with a different outlook.

It means to act in a conscious way, knowing the reasons and meaning of our acts, being aware of our errors and change the needed behaviors.

If you are at a war right now in your life, don’t give up. Work on your awareness and be the conqueror you really are.

Holistic Learning

Our learning is linear, that is, we learn one thing and then another, adding, sometimes subtracting what we have learned before and even changing it. It is linear as there is a clear sequence and it is quite easy to understand the reason that we learn to write a before writing and.

The challenge is to learn things in a linear fashion takes time and at present, a new phenomenon of constant learning is taking place, and for learning to be constant, it demands speed.

If you have a good memory, learning by heart make things easier, particularly when there is complexity. As there are too many things to be learnt, memorization is not the perfect solution.

There are two other ways to learn that may be better for the present moment. The first is based on andragogy, a branch of education dedicated to teach adults and the main premise is that adults learn by themselves, from their experiences and by example. It is not only copy or memory, it is an internal experience and the matter becomes part of the adult’ life. According to this approach, a person can learn something new about the Artificial Intelligence or a new recipe, by practicing, hopefully with a trainer or a coach.

The second way is to think of learning in a holistic perspective. A very simple way to do that is to teach what you want to learn. I have been in that situation and I have seen cases of people learning a language who teach others in a lesser level the same language. A holistic learning is to make learning, sharing and teaching as part of a whole experience in life.

These two ways can be the solution to learn too much in a short length of time – andragogy and holistic learning. Try it, maybe that is the solution.

Self-empathy

I have listened a lot about empathy and I have talked about it too. For some, it is difficult to understand it, for others, it is easy. It is the whole base of a few professions like doctors and firefighter, a must in terms of being a parent or a teacher, and it is something we look for it in a friend or a counselor.

But I would like to explore two aspects about empathy, which can make it easy to develop the quality.

First, to really experience someone’s empathy you yourself must be it, this is part of what I would call self-empathy. You do need to be an empath to really appreciate that quality as I have experienced: many years ago, I had many empathic friends, but I was not that myself and I was unable to understand why they were relating to me in that way. I look back in my life and what I see is that I could have had a wonderful time with them …

To develop empathy is the first step to really feel others’ empathy.

Second, we need to be an empath towards the self. Self-empathy means to understand the self, to know how to be gentle and forgiving, and to guide the self through the many storms of life. It means to read our own emotions, to understand them and to embrace that part of ourselves.

By being an empath towards the self, it is easier to manage emotions and to channel them into a positive direction.

I invite you to try this type of empathy and see how you will develop empathy as a key quality for Emotional Intelligence.

The Attitude of Assertiveness

Many years ago, the word ASSERTIVENESS began circulating. It was something new, a different attitude that emphasized self-esteem, within the communicational context, avoiding negative confrontation.

It's probably the most important communication skill out there, but it's still not talked about much, and maybe not as practiced as it should be. Some of its benefits are very clear:

• Increased self-esteem, on both sides of the conversation. The assertive side needs self-esteem for this skill to work well and, if there is no self-esteem on the other side, it is too "low" or too "high", it won’t work either.
• Better results in a negotiation, generating satisfaction. The assertive side will feel that their requests and demands have been heard and the other side will understand them better, being able to make a decision.
• A greater understanding of others’ needs. Although assertiveness serves to express what a person really thinks or needs, it can help in developing the ability to understand as we all have points in common and an assertive person acknowledges that unites them as a bridge.

Assertiveness, as an attitude, works as a template in which thoughts will come from self-esteem and will serve as a reaffirmation to the person. It is part of a self-leadership attitude, part of the process of an individual reclaiming their power to lead themselves.

I would like to focus on this self-leadership and, in relation to this, assertiveness has two basic functions:

• Facing without confronting. Look at situations head-on, facing them. However, know that you don't need to fight people or situations; confrontation is the last instance of a conflict that, in general, can be solved through several ways and assertiveness is a tool of empowerment.
• Defending without contesting. Defend your ideas, without renouncing principles or vocation and specifically, without fighting with others. It enters into the same function as before, but especially in the stage of conversation or negotiation in which the other party makes their demands; it is key to be protector of what is valuable, without the competition that often happens.

But how does it work?

Without assertiveness, it would be quite complex to make changes in the daily routine, without upsetting a partner or neighbors, or to start a meditator path and expect people in your office to understand your new lifestyle...

Assertiveness will guarantee that you handle talking to your partner, clearly describing your new daily routine, negotiating without giving up what is important to you and obtaining successful results. The same will happen in your work and in all areas you touch in life.

Experience assertiveness and live in an inspired way.

X-Raying Your Life

Ever felt like you're living in a fog? You know something's off, but you can’t quite put your finger on it.

That's where the concept of X-raying your life comes in. Imagine yourself as a medical professional, examining your own internal world for issues.

Start with your relationships. Are they healthy, supportive connections? Or are there shadows lurking beneath the surface?

Next, delve into your career. Do you experience satisfaction through your work or is it a source of stress?

Your physical and mental health are also crucial areas to examine. Are you properly nourishing your body and mind?

Because of my own experience, how is your spiritual life? There is the saying that we are souls that are experiencing the physical world and not the other way around, but are you really living like that? Are you nourishing and enriching the soul you are?

Is there any other area to examine? Whatever creates an impact on you and makes you take a decision is worth to check.

Remember, this isn't about judgment, but self-awareness. It is about identifying areas that need attention and taking steps to improve them. It is preventative care for your life as, by regularly "X-raying" yourself, you can avoid bigger problems down the road.

So, roll up your sleeves and start exploring your inner world.

Curiosity or exploration?

Okay, so, let's talk about this whole curiosity issue. You know the old saying, that is present in the languages I know: curiosity killed the cat. Well, maybe it's time to rethink that for humans.

I've always been a curious person – it's like a feature for a Capricornian that a few people know. But then I had this chat with a friend who straight-up called curiosity a sin. Whoa! That got me thinking.

There's this cool quote I found that perfectly captures the essence of curiosity for a person of this sign: They possess an inherent sense of wonder, always seeking knowledge to unravel the mysteries of life. My friend is also a Capricornian, so maybe it's more of a sign characteristic than a general curiosity trait, but I like to reframe curiosity with a bit of seeking.

After all, curiosity can lead us down some rabbit holes, those times when you dive into something without thinking it through. It is not always the best idea and it's like exploring a new neighborhood without checking if it's safe first, a new scientific experiment without protective masks or getting into a discussion with no knowledge on the subject.

Exploration, on the other hand, is all about focus, similar to setting out on a journey with a map and a compass. You're curious, sure, but you're also strategic. It's about learning, growing, and discovering, not just jumping headfirst into the unknown.

So, next time you want to be curious, remember that curiosity may be the starting point, but exploration is the real journey. And it requires preparation, investigation, training and willpower.

And going back to the saying, I think we could make this up: exploration revitalize the soul.

Solitude… the power of being by yourself

What is that thing, which is so good and yet, it causes so much sorrow?

 

I am an introvert and so, to be by myself looks quite good, actually. But I am not a perfect introvert… Many years ago, I was about to have my first Christmas by myself and it really touched me in a bad way that I didn’t have anyone else around me at that time of the year.

I was living in Santiago, Chile, and most of the people I knew, travelled. I was just there by myself.

Alone.

Almost lonely; I worked until a few days before, so I was still surrounded by other people. In that situation, I decided to call a few people I’ve met as a yoga teacher and I invited them for lunch, after my holidays started. It was wonderful, a really beautiful experience and I never forget it!

 

Solitude.

 

To be alone is not a bad thing in itself, but it can be according to the circumstances and situations.

After that Christmas, I did spend next Christmas by myself and it was OK, because I didn’t feel lonely.

It was then that the idea emerged: there is a difference between being lonely and being in solitude.

To not have people to whom to talk, to feel their presence and to share accomplishments… that is loneliness. It is considered by many as the door to several illnesses, besides I think we all agree it is not good…

To not have people to whom to talk, to feel their presence and to share accomplishments because you chose that moment to be by yourself is called solitude. It is considered by many as the door to healing the self.

Solitude brings about inner powers, so that we can sort things out, solve situations or accept whatever is taking place in our lives. Solitude is the perfect environment for meditation, personal growth and contemplation.

Next time you are by yourself and loneliness is filling your mind with too many thoughts, change your attitude, meditate and transform being lonely into the gift of solitude.

The power of imagination: did you see the yellow cat?

A little girl was just walking on the street; all of a sudden, she stopped and started to look across. She was staring to a point on the wall.

Her father asked her: “What do you see, honey?” The mother looked a little exasperated, since her child was used to see things that were not there.

Smiling, she looked at her parents and said: “I am looking at the yellow cat!”

The mother laughed, that kind of cruel laughter when someone says something stupid. Even her innocent child could perceive it…

“It is there, mom, it is there!”

 

Scenes like this one were very common in the past, but not so much nowadays. Today, the father would join the mother in explaining there is no yellow cat…

We are underestimating the power of imagination, the wonderful door that opens in our mind to see what is not there.

Imagination is around us. EVERYWHERE!

At least its fruit: buildings and bridges, machines and an incredible software that enables you to read this, no matter where you live, and much, much more…

All of these things, many of them we take for granted, they were just like the yellow cat in the past.

They didn’t exist.

 

Many years later, the girl is now a woman, who cultivates her dreams and projects very well. She has been relatively successful and very happy with her life.

Particularly today, when an old dream will become a reality…

 

Imagination changes into dreams later in life, when we start to understand our role in this universe, in our society and community. Those dreams can be, in the hands of imagination, incredible engines to make us to move on the road of existence.

There are two powerful tools that convert imagination into a dream:

• Reflection. By reflecting, the individual realizes what is going on and they are able to land the imaginative scenario taking place inside their head in the living reality.
• Visualization. It is basically imagination, but with a focus and it comes often as a result of a few questions a person asks the self: How is this going to happen? When is this going to happen? What should I do to make it happen?

 

She still remembers the scene of her childhood: one parent’s support and another parent’s… sniggering… But she is not a child anymore.

She is a woman who is standing in front to that wall, in which she saw the yellow cat. She is not cross the street, she is exactly on that spot and she is surrounded by her team, which will make her dream coming true.

The yellow cat is going to be alive!

 

Someone said that if we want to live what we dream, we need to stop sleeping, that is, we must change our imagination into reality.

By reflecting or visualizing, you were able to have a vision of what we want; now we must build it, and…

… Of course, it is more complicated, but there are 3 basic things:

1. Willpower. That is the push that will turn our dreams into a living reality.
2. Resources. It is the fuel for that transformation.
3. Capacity. We will need knowledge of many things, talents and skills.

And then, at last, imagination will walk on the streets…

 

They just finished their job and here it is: The Yellow Cat.

A restaurant that will change people’s lives. She has more dreams about the restaurant, but right now she is just mesmerized by what she sees.

A huge yellow cat licking the window of her restaurant, just under its name!

 

Final remarks:

• Remember that failure and defeat are lessons, they will increase your capacity.
• It is always possible that your dreams don’t come true; learn from them and help others to make their dreams come true.
• Surround yourself with positivity, but embrace others’ critique.
• Meditation is a perfect way to improve your visualization tool.
• Dialogue is key and emotional intelligence will be very helpful.
• Nobody can make their dreams come true by themselves…
• When you get success, share it with others by helping them somehow.

Memory… is it nostalgic, or can it be a positive factor in our lives?

Nowadays if you browse for a while in your favorite platform, you will find songs from all times!

Nowadays, old movies are back!

Nowadays, we have a tendency to go into the memory lane more than ever…

Yes, nostalgy, saudade, that feeling you often can’t name or pinpoint, but you know it very well. They are emotions that enable you to travel through time and experience things of the past as if they are taking place now. Right now…

My question is: are those emotions or feelings good?

NO!

Yes…

It all depends. Memories can feed depression, conflicts and even a sense of powerlessness.

On the other hand, memories can be used is as an inner motivation, often coming from an understanding, which changes the present attitude.

Yes, you are in trouble now, but can you remember that time you were able to win in a similar situation?

OK, you are fighting (again) with your best friend, but do you remember how good that person is and how much joy you had together?

By focusing on those memories, you will feel courage or you will be able to fix your friendship.

In this case, they are not only positive, but encouraged. Many years ago, a very wise yogi teacher was giving a class, in which she shared about someone who was not so well at that moment. She suggested the person to remember the best memories and relive them in their minds.

The effect was immediate: the individual was transported to that moment, there was an experience of peace and happiness, calm in the mind and decisions could be taken. It is immediate…

So, my invitation is that instead of drowning in the memory of better times, use it as a leverage to change your attitude or behavior.

Problems? Try to use your resilience.

When there is a problem, a normal person like you and me often jump to the solution. Many times, it turns to be a jump to conclusion…

Another way is to reflect upon the problem, visualize or feel the possible solutions and then, to make a decision. In this case, we are using a small part of our own resilience.

In terms of problem solving, our resilience has a different role and it is useful to understand it.

What is resilience? It is basically our inherent capacity to bounce back after a crisis or a serious problem. Even though it is inherent, it can be increased or diminished…

What is it in terms of problem solving? Well, for small problems there is a chance to use your own resilience:

1. The problem comes, causing a small storm in the mind, too many thoughts, and it turns decisions into a difficult task.

2. We face the problem, we are able to diminish the storm in the mind, we make certain decisions.

3. We are back to where we were before the problem, according to our resilience.

However, resilience is a human quality or faculty, it is part of the self, so we could say resilience exists since before the problem, that is, it may help at every stage of the problem:

1. The problem comes, causing a small storm in the mind, too many thoughts, and it turns decisions into a difficult task. I meditate, I calm my mind, I talk with someone because I know I am strong and I don’t stop growing because of that problem. I am a resilient person.

2. We face the problem, we are able to diminish the storm in the mind, we make certain decisions. My decisions come from my own reflection, from my own power. They start in my mind in the form of a discernment process, and then I implement them.

3. We are back to where we were before the problem, according to our resilience. I see the storm of problems and bad situations departing from my life and I prepare myself to keep on moving on… I never stopped, but it is possible my personal change was affected by it; now, I move on with full force.

If we do this exercise, not only we will be able to overcome a problem without much effort, we will be also increasing our resilience.

 

Empathy

A short story mentioned by Daniel Goleman in his book Emotional Intelligence describes a young boy who was natural in terms of emotional intelligence. At one occasion, when another boy got hurt, he went to him and he showed how he also got hurt in the same way, calming down the boy’s pain.

And that’s Empathy 1.01: to create a bond with another person by showing them you can also feel the same. I am sure you would agree our society needs more people like that boy as too many people are getting hurt in a daily basis. Here I am talking about empathy and a few realizations I have had along the years, in the form of a list of points.

• Empathy does not heal, but to be with an empathetic person help in healing, besides being a soothing experience.
• Now, empathy does not mean to walk in someone’s shoes. I am sure you have heard that and it is understandable that is probably the closest illustration possible, as the boy in the example has shown. I realized a misperception of empathy when I saw a cashier at a supermarket assisting a customer, who was a rich lady; it was obvious for me the cashier couldn’t walk in the lady’s shoes, but she had a good level of emotional intelligence… That was the click!
• Empathy is not about feeling EXACTLY what the other one feels, but it is about creating a bond, showing the other person it is possible to feel the same even though their situations are so different. Even though they cannot walk in each other’s shoes.
• After that click, I had another one: many times, kindness will work quite well. It is what many of us do when we meet someone who is going through a rough day… Although kindness is one of the components of empathy, it can work by itself, that is, without forming a bond.
• Think about empathy as a formula: BOND + KINDNESS. It there is only a bond (a family, co-workers, doctor/patient) it does not guarantee empathy; it there is only kindness, it may sound false, particularly with people know each other.
• Definitely, Emotional Intelligence includes empathy at some level and this is why is so effective in terms or relationship and even productivity while talking about a team working together. But there is an extra factor which is the intrapersonal intelligence, the emotions we feel and how to handle them.

I hope this list may help you in your life.

Recreating a map to navigate our world: the importance of patterns

Should I go right or left? I look around and I see on the right a beautiful stone-laid path, flowers from both sides and it is a little steep, but the left path is muddy, the plants are wild and it looks quite dark.

No need to think there! Of course, the right path is…

 

That’s how we navigate our lives: turning left, right or center, staying for a while at some place or setting goals and move on. We find a job, a new friend, we reconnect with an old friend, we lose our job, we got a health problem, etc.

Sometimes the path will be idyllic, other times will be muddy. So, which one is the ideal for my life?

There are basically three ways to deal with that…

Intuition will be preferred by some people. They will just think where do I go and they will feel which way is the best for them.

Logic will be the favorite path for other people. They will see the muddy path and, of course, will chose the next one.

But both ways have big flaws. Intuition is often considered a manifestation of the unconscious mind, that is, things that have been picked, but not prioritized by the conscious mind, come up in the form of an intuitive thought. It may work, it may not work, it all depends on whatever has been picked. Logic will be restricted by the normal logic restrains of AND/OR, TRUE/FALSE, HYPOTHESIS/THEORY, and there are things that go beyond all of that. Maybe the muddy path is the right one…

So, there is a third way which I would like to explore with you: patterns.

Wait, what? I know people don’t talk about patterns nowadays, but they should be doing as we are living surrounded by patterns and we are letting them to lead us in our decisions. That is, patterns are drawing the map of our lives. Here are a few examples:

I follow my mother’s options in life in terms of jobs, relationships, etc.

I follow what my neighbors do during week-ends.

Even though I am retired, I still do shopping as if I was working, that is, on Saturdays, instead of a sale Tuesday.

I watch movies and TV series episodes which are basically equal, because those are the patterns…

It is bad… or it can be good too.

I follow my mother’s options on her courage and honesty, values that are transcendental.

I follow the specialties of my neighbors, appreciating they are around me and the example they set for me and my family.

As I am retired, I do as many retired people do: I volunteer. I help people with whatever energy and time I have.

I watch things that educate me or improve a bad day, because those are the patterns…

This is the third way to create your map, just use what is available, but use it in a good way, in a positive way. It will be easier to draw that map and it will give benefit to everyone who follows it, not only you.

Like a frog, or not?

Change is everywhere, that means ADAPTATION is needed everywhere. In reality, even when someone does not adapt to the change, it is a sort of adaptation.

However, there are good and bad ways to adapting and while some empower the person, others make the individual depressed.

Let’s dive into the different types of adaptation a person can experience when there is a change in their lives or environment, and how to improve it.

• An accurate adaptation means decisions are aligned with the changes, there is not a big conflict as a result of the change and the person feels comfortable with whatever is taking place. The person will be able to reflect and overcome obstacles that come on their way without stress.
• Many years ago, when I was still a child, my grandmother and I went outside and meanwhile, she left a big pot with water for boiling. When we came back, I saw her face and she was very upset; a frog had jumped into it! This is an old tale and although many think it is false, my experience says differently. The comparison with changes is that sometimes our adaptation makes us weak, powerless or simply unhappy. Be careful! Watch for the signals you are losing yourself and jump off the pot!
• Quick adaptation can come because of an expertise, a tendency or luck. The problem is the outcome is temporary and it may generate some type of disenchantment. I saw it with the boom of the crypto currency as many people tried and gave up, or even failed. It was a wave that some people took it, but it faded away… It is important to have a backup plan or savings, because it will fade away…
• Nature teaches us three main things about changes and adaptation: 1) change is inevitable, don’t fight and don’t surrender to it; 2) survive and thrive, as much as possible, and 3) adaptation is a show of strength. There is a cactus nearby, even though Bogota (at least looks like it) is very humid and it grew out of a stone! A few years ago, it was almost dead, but it survived… and it is back! Sort of; it is crooked and very ugly, but in terms of life, I think that is what it matters. So, if the change you are going through is tough, look at nature and you will learn many lessons for your survival and beyond.
• A last type of adaptation is based on compromise: I stop doing this, but I will be doing that. It may be not so positive, such as the example of people who stop smoking and start eating up to their obesity, but it may be a last resort for lots of people. If you are going to compromise, work on minimizing the side effects.

What is the type of adaption you mostly use with the present change you are facing?

Too much learning is good, but…

Particularly in the West, we may take decades engaged in learning in schools and other institutions, besides what we learn at home, on the streets or temples. And it is not a bad thing.

In fact, learning as a desire, habit or hobby should be part of our personality, specially in our fast-changing world. Even to buy a new cell phone or going to a supermarket after a few months is a challenge.

The reason is that with every change, we need to adapt and to do that in a successful way, there is no alternative to learning. Well, maybe suffering…

And this is the age of changes, they are everywhere for every reason. So, it should be the Age of Learning too.

Why is not so? Why do we see more and more illiterate people in various areas of work or society? There are a few reasons for that.

The first one is to not follow changes. As the learning curve can be quite steep, it may be a wise decision, but not always practical, due to professional or personal commitments. It is the case of many parents having to learn the lingo of social media, so they can help their kids navigate in this new world, even though they may not want to do.

The second reason is that the learning curve is too hard for some people because of their age... There is a paradigm that connects age and change, which means many people just not even try to learn something because they are old. This means they will have difficult to use transportation, to withdraw some money and even to travel. This is not true and there are plenty of examples of people who have challenged these misconceptions. True, it may be hard for some people, but it is possible with some effort.

Another reason is that there is no time to catch up. It happens a lot for those who work in a fast-paced industry, as things can change brusquely and there is no time to really try and grasp what is going on. However, I do remember a former CEO who decided to take a course on accounting after his company suffered a fraud by their accountant. Discernment will guide those people to dedicate their time in learning what is really important, otherwise leadership will help to have the right people surrounding them.

Don’t think you cannot learn. You can, just understand how. And keep on learning…

 

How long do you take to make a decision?

We live in a very fast world and society, and there is a tendency for decisions to be fast. Very fast.

But how to make a decision in a fast way?

The main factor is not the speed. Here is an example: if you are an expert in cooking and you have almost finished a dish when someone tells you the double of people are coming, what will happen? OK, there will be some suffering internally, but as you are the expert, you will be able to devise a solution for that without worrying too much.

Now, think of the same situation with a non-expert chef, like me… It will be a disaster! Even though I may be faster than the expert…

The first thing we value, in terms of speed, is the expertise as that will make decisions faster or slower.

And yet, it is not enough. A comparison can be made between making a decision in certain areas of life and chess, as in both there are many factors influencing the final outcome. Of course, expertise will count as important, but what if the other person – or the various situations – is/are also expert(s)?

First of all, refine your expertise as it is something visible. It means training and talking with other people who are experts.

A second thing to speed decisions up is to understand your opponents. Don’t hate them, try to avoid all kinds of emotions at least for some time, even 5 minutes will be helpful, and then, within that time, reflect upon the problems you are facing.

As you can see, a fast decision will take longer than you think… There is a third tip that may help.

Along with understanding, use your discernment power. It means to make the decision first in your own mind or even in a closed scenario like a group of friends: visualize your different responses and the many outcomes that can come along with each possible decision. If you do that as a meditation experiment, it will be even more effective.

After the discernment process, you can implement whatever scenario you realized was the right decision for that moment. It will give the decision more power and probably it will be easier to make it. In other words, it will be faster.

Now it is your turn to make a decision…

Fast.

The power of gratitude

One of my comforts as a child was reading and one of my favorite sources was a magazine that used to come every month or so to my auntie, but it ended at my house, so I used to get to it first.

It came from a Japanese religion, Seicho-no-ie, and the stories were inspiring! But one topic was always present: be grateful.

I confess as the years passed by, I simply forgot about that, until many and many years ago, and since then, I started to practice the simple act of gratitude.

It can be a conscious act, like saying thank you, smiling in a cheerful way or send a message to a person.

It can also be unconscious. As I moved from Sao Paulo, the land of please and thank you – we say that all the time to anyone – I realized people used to look at me differently in situations when my thank you was not really clear, like thanking a bus driver. Slowly, I learned to express the gratitude I was taught in a more subtle way through a small gesture of the head or a different smile. Well, with some friends even a joke can work as an expression of gratitude…

Gratitude turns into a power when, besides the act, it is felt within in a deep way, generating a wonderful healing sensation that life opened its arms to me through this person or situation.

That power can break down obstacles, elevate a person so that they are higher than bad situations and even rebuild bridges with other people.

Be grateful.

Be powerfully grateful.

Define your direction, and move… Your destination is just ahead!

If you are lost, you look at a compass… Our modern times replaced it with asking around for directions, checking a map in the cell phone, or a GPS system, but the idea behind is the same.

Inside the individual, the same thing takes place, as everyone gets lost many times in their lives… For that, we also need a (spiritual) GPS to help us to find our own selves, but there is no such a machine yet!

Many of the modern problems come from being lost in relation to what the person should really be. By find themselves, the individual is able to live a full life and contribute completely to others.

There are three ways this can be done, and they are quite easy to implement:

• Live a life of aims and goals. Yes, go, fix a goal, and fulfill it, at least in relation to relevant aspects such as tasks at your work, your self-progress, family relationships, health, etc.
• Look at that imaginary place you would like to reach and compare it with the present you are living. Do the calculations of which changes you need to implement in your life so that you can really be what you are. This will motivate and generate a powerful dynamic for your life.
• The last possibility is to create your full personal compass by fixing a North (your final destination), understanding your South (your values), balancing your East (a spiritual source) and West (a pragmatical view). Finally, let’s not forget the point in the middle, a life purpose, which will balance everything.

In this way, you will experience focus and a life full of certainty, even during periods of deep uncertainty.